Finding the Real Meaning of College

What's the most important thing in college?

By =====

Lying on the bed, looking on the Washington Square Park through the window, I felt tremendous pressure assaulting upon me. There are so many things waiting ahead for me to get done, but I only could feel confusion instead of motivation.

When going to college, deciding a major was the first thing that emerged in my mind. I never asked myself what kind of major that I wanted to choose before going to college. I never asked myself what kind of jobs I wanted to pursue before going to college. Entering college is a turning point to me, and, I think, to every one of my peers. It was as if all of a sudden that I had to think so many questions, facing so many choices.

In high school times, it’s a natural thing for me to go to school every day, take the same classes as everyone else, and prepare for the exams. Going to college is something you just do, but once I have come into college, I am given enough freedom: I can choose whatever the course that I want, I can get an internship during the semester so that I could prepare for my future job or I can hang out with friends to enjoy this marvelous city. In the past, I was always doing things that I should do, never having the curiosity to ask why. Feeling confused, I found that my roommate all have a clear plan for the future. One focuses on computer science, one is in the profession-oriented school, Stern and the other one wants to enter law school. What’s my true interest? What am I gonna do? It almost overwhelms me to find out the path of my life that I could devote to.

The question of the real meaning of entering college lingers deep inside, like the Damocles suspending on my head. The question bothers me all the semester and it really took me a long time to barely figure out a few paths that I would pursue. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when seeing other people work hard for their goals and thus feel lonely. I think it is a common thing that it feels hard to find your own place, so the question of what is the most important thing in college is crucial for me to find an answer.

But who really cares? Who besides me and the group of freshmen who are standing at the crossroads, feeling confused? Entering a college is a milestone for most people who do enter a college and face all these choices, but beyond those who enter the college, others also need to face the same type of questions that ask what kind of profession they want to devote to or what kind of partner they want to find. It is actually more of a choice about what kind of life one wants to have for the rest of their life. Thus, everyone is somehow enrolled in this question.

One person who has thought a great deal about this is New York University Philosophy Professor John Ross. Curious about his motivation for teaching Philosophy, I simply asked him why Philosophy since it seems rare to me to be devoted to such a profound and obscure major, not expecting to find such a huge transfer in his decision.

When I came to college,, I chose Computer Science as a promising field. However,in order to graduate I had to take some philosophy courses as a requirement - something that I had been avoiding, but I was forced by the administration that put me in a philosophy class with few students that it looked like nobody wanted to take. I thought I was in for a bad time, but it was wonderful. The Professor loved his subject and had a wealth of knowledge. I was learning so much that it was fascinating - science, ethics, politics, and psychology - studying Plato Aristotle Socrates. I found out that I was looking at everything from a philosophical point of view all along - I just didn't know it. I couldn't get enough, so I switched my major to philosophy. If I couldn't get into a course I would study independently with the professor. I was really happy and loving school for the first time in my life.

As we progress through the many stages of life, we are often asked the age-old question, what do you want to be when you grow up? And college seems to be the time that we should have a clear answer about that age-old question. A major is always the first question hit upon freshmen’s faces. While applying for college, students are always required to fill out a major. However, does everyone really have a clear understanding of the field that he or she would pursue in the next four years? According to surveys made by Butler University, an estimated 20 to 50 percent of students enter college as undecided, and an estimated 75 percent of students change their major at least once before graduation (Liz Freedman, 2013). The evidence overwhelmingly points to the fact that students are not good at choosing their majors and I’m not the only one who is struggling in the broad pool of various majors.

But why is this problem so bothering and why are we so uncertain? In other words, why so stressful? First of all, tuition for college is expensive. It costs tens of thousands of dollars per year and normally, students would burden the tuition loans so that they can afford their college studying. Among ranked National Universities, the average cost of tuition and fees for the 2019–2020 school year was $41,426 at private colleges (Powell and Kerr, 2019). However, the average starting salary for a graduate stood at $50,944 (Alison Doyle, 2020). Why would we spend so much effort, time and money on going to college? Thus, the question concerned with the real meaning of entering college really matters and worth digging into it.

Besides, college major decisions are significantly related to graduate school attendance, short and long-term wage differentials, transition into skilled employment, and other occupational outcomes (Mullen, Goyette, and Soares 2003; Shauman 2006; Dey and Hill 2007; Roksa and Levey 2010; Arum and Roksa 2014). Conclusively, it is a certain thing, from most people's perspective, that once they choose their major, it is highly likely that they will spend the rest of their life doing a job related to that or keep studying further in their major fields, but is it really that case?

According to a study from the Washington Post, only 27 percent of college grads have a job related to their major. It's not clear whether this is a big labor-market problem, or it just means that many jobs actually don't really require a specific field of study. Of course, a key point here is that landing a job unrelated to the major isn't necessarily the end of the world. Indeed, it's the most common outcome by far (Plumer, 2013).

Apart from John Ross, upperclassmen in college also feel uncertain about their career. Two NYU alumni who are now both working in the financial industry didn’t intend for that at first. One majored in biology and the other studied the international relationship. It seems that even for those who have a clear plan for their future, their plan can be changed beyond their expectations.

We are not good at choosing a major and that’s why it bothers us so much, but then keep asking: why are we not good at it? Charles and Bradley, Sociologists at the University of California and San Diego Western Washington University, pointed out that it is actually the self-concepts that shape major decisions and professional identities (2009).

I think I have always been intrigued by the 'great questions' - the meaning of life - how does the mind work - what is morality - the existence of God, etc. I think it is important for everyone to search for the answers to these questions. The journey for me is enriching and amazing.

I have never ever regretted the pursuit of philosophy. I have often wished to be better at it. I really understand the quote by Pythagoras that coined the word Philosophy love of wisdom - when asked if he was wise he said: "No but I would love to be". Overall I think philosophy has improved my life. I would of course trade anything for the happiness and success of my family - but other than that I wouldn't trade the philosophical life for anything.

Passionate about the great, ultimate questions, Professor Ross becomes aware of his love for philosophy or realizes his personal identity as someone who is obsessed with the ultimate question. Despite the fact that he knows the internet industry is thriving in the last decade, he still doesn’t regret giving up on computer science. It is as if finding true love for the rest of his life. You can only be aware of who you are and then find what you are really infatuated about.

However, no student is making a decision about their college major with complete information, or in other words, a complete understanding of themselves. Alanna Gillis, a sociologist at the University of North Carolina--Chapel Hill, analyzed interviews with 50 first-year college students at an elite public university and concluded that in trying to create their self-concept and link it to a particular field of study, they struggle with limited and often incorrect information. And people around us -- both teachers and peers -- are critical in shaping the provisional major identities students construct prior to entering college.

He states another concept in addition to self-concepts and argues students also form major-concepts, a concept defined as a student’s subjective understanding of what a particular field of study is, what skills it requires, who should major it in, and what it can lead to after college. These majors-concepts are formed through a variety of sources, but all sources provide incomplete, and sometimes incorrect, knowledge to the student trying to understand what each field of study is. Given that the information from others about students' self-concepts and major-concepts is inherently subjective and incomplete (and possibly incorrect), students' decisions about their major are shaped, at least in part, by the social network in which they are immersed (Alanna, 2019).

Thus, the struggle of choosing a major is actually about the difficulty of realizing the self-concept under the surrounding influence. It is reasonable to feel uncertain and anxious about that. Universities would allow students to declare their major after sophomore years, provide advisors to guide their academic path, and hold information sessions for various majors to help ease the pressure. The essence of that pressure actually comes from the lack of recognition of ourselves and the subject.

Wait, so the college major--or academics at all-- is not the most important thing in college. Maybe what is just as important is the college experience.

So maybe this research is telling me that I should stop worrying so much about the college major and start paying attention to my college EXPERIENCE.

Things that happen in real life can be the insipartion of movies or literature. There are people in real life who started a relationship in college and ended up in marriage, but also there are people breaking up one relationship after another. As a result, a romantic relationship weighs a lot in the school experience. From personal experience, the number of peers around me who initiated a relationship surged in college. Aaron Sun, a freshman at NYU also feels the same way, “ Most of my peers do not reject having a romantic relationship and indeed there are a certain amount of people beginning a romantic relationship since college. That’s a pretty common thing for young people to have the passion to do based on the social, emotional, and physical needs of a close company.”

A recent study by the American Psychological Association found that about 63 percent of college men and 83 percent of college women said they would prefer a traditional relationship and 61 percent had been on dates (Khazan, 2014; Heffernan, 2016). An enormous dating pool, the absence of restriction from parents coupled with peers with similar desire – students may arrive at the conclusion that college is the time for them to cast their amour net wide.

However, despite the large proportion of students who are willing to or already have a relationship, there are concerns about it. Whether or not a love relationship would affect students’ academic performance is the first concern emerged since a romantic relationship is always considered time-consuming. Couples, on average, spend about two to two and a half hours a day together, including weekends, according to the Office for National Statistics (Houlis, 2020).

But fret not, the notion of couples hitting the books together not only unleashes a tinge of romance in the air but more importantly, it pumps up the level of motivation. Other perks include a hike in memory retention and expanded access to information, shying you away from distractions (Schoenherr, 2006).

Another concern may be realistic: how much should one spend in maintaining a relationship? As college students, they don’t have much money to allocate, but it is necessary to spend money having dinners for dates, presenting gifts to each other, and planning unique events for anniversaries. All these require more than just the money but without money, it is hard to carry out all those special joyful things between lovers. 84% percent of people 18-34 who have ever been in a relationship claim that they spend more according to a love and relationship website YourTango.com. My friend Michael admitted to me that he spent around four thousand dollars for one month when he was in a relationship, which was far more than his average spending when he was single.

It seems all that need to maintain a relationship is to sacrifice and sacrifice, from students’ valuable time to their bare amount of money.

However, with further exploration, the influence of maintaining a romantic relationship is beyond just concerns, yet holding a dynamic effect on college students. In the article “Why college students need a class in dating?”, Olga Khazan, a staff writer at The Atlantic, argues that as college students focus polishing their resumes, today's young people have forgotten how to love. Also, Christakis, a lecturer at the Yale Child Study Center, and the former co-master at one of the student residence halls at Harvard holds a similar opinion. She thinks it's because college students these days are too focused on resume-building and career preparation. They're indoctrinated into the cult of extracurricular activities in middle and high school, and the involvement obsession continues throughout college almost as if by inertia. "It's 'I'm secretary of this' and 'I'm a director of that,'" Christakis said. "And even they admit that a lot of it is kind of bogus."

It seems that college kids don't know how to interact face-to-face anymore and college would even hold classes to teach them how to fall in love. Boston College philosophy class assigns students to go out on dates—the coursework includes a discussion of "what words to say" when you'd like to ask someone out. Similarly, the University of Illinois now holds workshops on topics like "College Dating: Uncovering the Dating Scene." Duke University offers a counseling series on "How to Be in Love." Students will learn "how to fall in love … including recognizing when this can be happening," as well as how to communicate effectively, how to recognize when said love is "toxic," and how to know when it's time to break up.

But, Wait. A relationship is that really important?

Well, I believe a romantic relationship means different from person to person. The need for this relationship is based on people’s cognition of what romantic relationship means. Individuals attracted their personal experiences and social experiences to form a basic concept of how to execute their roles and what they demand in a romantic relationship. I feel my last relationship is not that rewarding to me. Though I could not deny the pleasure and valuable stuff I have had, I feel unable to feel empathy because of the drastic different backgrounds and life experiences. We have few in common so in the end, we no longer get together.

Aaron Sun experienced a romantic relationship in his first semester of college. Even though his relationship ended up breaking up, he admits that there are stories about college lovers ended up in marriage. The odds of you stumbling upon your future spouse at college is not just a prevalent fantasy, it is a legit phenomenon. According to Facebook and their magical data, findings revealed that 15% of people in the US were actually married to a high school sweetheart and about 28% of married college-graduates attended the same college. It is not a high percentage, but it is not that low. Elite Daily, an American online news platform that targets its audience as millennials, tells a story about Jillian, 22, who got married to her boyfriend in college. She said that the pressures of college definitely affected our relationship for the better. She was extremely involved and busy throughout college, so it was important for her to have a boyfriend who would support her in all of her endeavors and take her mind off the stress. College is a time in life where many people truly discover who they are. Talking about life and grow in her dorm or college apartments, she felt lucky enough to be able to not only discover who she was as a person but also who she was in a relationship. Love in college can be durable, as lovers face the difficulties together, and grow up together, thus becoming the life-long companion.

Even for a romantic relationship in college that somehow withers, it can also mean a constant companion during the blooming. Admittedly, we are social animals who are always thirsty for companionship and afraid of loneliness. However, it is particularly inevitable in the first year to feel lonely. A foreign environment far from the sweet home where friendships are fresh can be a daunting experience and discourage even the bravest of souls. Finding a significant other who lends an arm around you through the roughest of times when nobody else is there can be both beautiful and meaningful. Between all the final weeks, match days, movie nights to concerts, it’s always nice to have a kindred soul to share these moments with. The comfort of knowing that there’s an unwavering soul rooting for you can construct a sense of security, which is great to have, especially as the semester drags on (Grace Chen, 2016). Thus, maintaining a relationship in intimacy is actually what those universities’ courses want to teach about. Maybe as suggested by the courses, we, the college students, are now losing the ability to love or in other words, keep an intimate relationship.

With our continuous digging of the importance of college experience, or specifically a romantic relationship, it’s hard to deny its importance, which in whatever way holds an impact on college life, but back to the original question: is it the most important thing in college?

College is a very special life stage that connects people’s transmission from a teenage individual to a mature social component. A romantic relationship will be beneficial. This intimate romantic relationship could provide people they might not obtain from their friends and families. People could have a natural perspective to scale things that happened beside them. However, a romantic relationship is a double-sided blade. Sometimes it could be toxic, time-consuming, and unhealthy. Only if people have a clear perception of their needs, they could avoid the negative side and enjoy the benefits of a romantic relationship.

At the end of our interview, Aaron Sun shared some of his insights on his romantic relationship with me. At this point, it is really hard to put an exact value on the things we compare. Unlike a commodity that can easily be priced, it is impossible to use the unit of money to price the gain and loss of a relationship. And it is discovered that the question of the major is actually about self-concept and the romantic relationship as part of the college experience is how to maintain intimacy with a specific person. Focusing on the academy and planning for the future career path or choosing to accompany someone is really our simple choice. There is definitely no such thing as “the most important” no matter for college or for our whole life as it varies from everyone’s point of view.

Opportunity cost, a concept in economics, claims that we would always give up something for those we get and there is no free lunch in the world. The importance depends on personal judgment, but there is only a limited 4-year time in college. The things that we spend most of our scarce resource -- simply the time -- would be the most important thing for us. At last, after graduating from college, the unique answer would appear, so rather than worrying about the question, why not embark on our journey immediately?

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