Discount Mondays
Flash-fiction - by Amanda Pampuro
I can see you’re in a hurry, but if you give me one minute of your time, you get 24 hours of mine. I have a few good, old days I’m trying to unload, mostly Mondays but there’s some Tuesdays and Thursdays in my bag if you’re particular.
Take this Monday right here, it’s the one where you’ll first see the woman who is going to be your wife. No, you don’t get to talk to her, not just yet, but you notice her putting money in the meter as you walk into work. She’s wearing a long coat, with flowers pinned in her hair, and you watch the door the whole next hour to see if her errands will bring her in. This one-day-special includes eight routine hours at your second job, a few cop show reruns and a full good night’s sleep in a bed with sheets just changed yesterday.
Trust me when I tell you that kind of uninterrupted sleep alone will be worth its weight in gold once those nights are behind you. After your kids are born, or you take that new job across town, you’ll lose whole waking hours dreaming about having sleep like that.
Here’s another one, just before the baby is born, but after you’ve built the crib. It starts out rough, but stay with me, because even though your car is in the shop and you gotta take the bus, nobody bothers you the whole way and it doesn’t rain and they have communal donuts in the break room.
What’s so special about this day, is when you’re having trouble sleeping and you’re laying in bed around midnight, you feel the baby kicking through your wife’s belly. She’s sound asleep, so it’s just you and this kid you’re about to meet. Tap, tap, tap, that little drum beats under your fingers and you finally start to feel like you might actually be ready for what comes next. This is genuine peace right here. Contentment. Certainty. Best of all, this priceless calm before the storm is going cheap if you act now.
Don’t worry your watch, you got plenty of time to catch the 10 line, I promise, you got time to spare for this.
Most people just want first dates and weddings with open bars. You think you just want the championship games and Christmas mornings and 360s on powder days. Your life has plenty of those, I can tell. Someone else will sell you on Saturday night barrooms and Sunday morning pancakes, but me, I’m just not in the market for fancy, flashy days. For one, they’re too damn expensive for most people especially with inflation eating up disposable income, plus they don’t last very long. Sure, every day contains the same 1,440 minutes, but you don’t feel every one the same way. When they just fly by you don’t get to appreciate the shine on every second. You miss the butterflies in the daffodils and the bubbles in your soda. Believe me. I know.
I’m not licensed to give you back your childhood either, or any experiences overseas, but these meaty middle age years, they’re—wait, wait one second! They’re worth it.
I’m offering you a true slice of life: the moment the morning light illuminates the fruit on the kitchen table, your old dog licking your hand, a dozen “I love you’s,” from your daughter’s toddler years or one from her teens. I got spontaneous hours of coloring or cooking together that you can spread out or stack up. I got those long hours you spend teaching her to tie her shoelaces into bows. I got whole days when you only have time to read her one book and she falls asleep before the end, but then you stay there awhile marveling at how that little baby grew into a girl.
I wouldn’t give up any of these moments unless I had to, and I sure as hell wouldn’t give them to just anybody, but I can tell you will take good care of them.
Every day has a moment, I promise you that, but every one of these Mondays I’m offering has something absolutely precious, every one of them, even though you’re going to spend most of it at a job you dislike, even then, I can give you a few good things you’ll never forget.
These, my fine sir, are not mere memories but experiences. This is the true spice of life, even if you are most likely to forget most fleeting moments, each and every one helps make you who you are and who you will be. I’ll give you 25% off, or two for the price of one. These days are going fast, so don’t wait too long. No, don’t you tell me you’ll come back after work, because by then I’ll be long gone and you’ll spend the rest of your life wishing you had grabbed two more days when you had the chance.