Warning: This article contains spoilers.

This November, Netflix released Hot Frosty, a bizarre Christmas rom-com directed by Schitt’s Creek’s Jerry Ciccoritti. The film follows Kathy (Lacey Chabert), a young widow in the small town of Hope Springs, as she falls in love with a snowman she accidentally brings to life (Dustin Milligan). Simultaneously, he is wanted by the town sheriff (Craig Robinson) for streaking past an elderly couple and unwittingly breaking and entering into a fabric store, and he is constantly in danger of melting because his natural body temperature is below freezing. Sound ridiculous? Yeah. We agree. 

Honestly, the worst part of this movie is that the plot hinges on someone sculpting a hyper-realistic, nude snowman at a children’s winter festival in the center of town. Not only was this strange, but, in essence, it drove the entire story and single-handedly shaped the central villain’s motivation. That’s… weird, right? It’s not just us?

On top of that, throughout its runtime, Hot Frosty oscillates violently between over-the-top, self-directed humor (for instance, the sheriff often puts on sunglasses so that he can take them off and say his lines dramatically) and moments where it takes itself far too seriously (it was hard to keep a straight face while Jack was melting in a jail cell). At one point, Kathy, who is portrayed by the same actor who played Gretchen Wieners in the original Mean Girls, sees a clip of Lindsay Lohan in Falling for Christmas (2022) and comments that she “went to high school” with her—and that comes right after she pleads desperately with Jack to “lay low” in order to avoid the sheriff. Additionally, Kathy’s passion is creating community through her café, which might have been sweet, but the writers named it “Kathy’s Kafé.” How are we supposed to take that seriously? The choice of spelling is criminal. Honestly, the sheriff should have been after her instead of Jack.

In all seriousness, despite the film’s status as a “Christmas rom-com,” we found that Jack and Kathy had next to no chemistry. They’re really only compatible because he needs a cold environment to survive and the heating system in her house happens to be broken. Worse still, she spends most of the movie coaching him on societal norms and looking after him. Their relationship feels parental, almost, and it doesn’t help that Milligan plays Jack’s child-like innocence extremely convincingly. Their dynamic then shifts abruptly to what is probably intended to be “romantic” when they reach for the same pizza cutter and accidentally brush hands, but the vibes are… still off. Honestly, Jack has more overall chemistry with the deputy sheriff, Ed Schatz, than with Kathy herself (for instance, he teaches Jack how to slow dance, and it feels like they’re about to kiss). Even when Jack’s chilly condition is solved by a Snow White-style true love’s kiss from Kathy, their romance remains thoroughly uncompelling.

Still, the town is obsessed. Nearly every woman swoons over Jack, despite his unfortunate haircut and child-like personality, and they’re each entirely shallow outside of this. It felt unnecessary, overly performative, and, perhaps, lined with the slightest bit of misogyny. In one scene, which is particularly uncomfortable, Jack generously offers help to a woman whose car is stuck, but her obsession makes it… really weird. We definitely could have done without it.

Later, when it comes to light that Jack is (was?) a snowman, Kathy is the only person in town to express any skepticism. “You all just buy that he’s a snowman?” she asks, and everyone nods. “It’s Christmas,” one townsperson explains, while another asks, “A man like that has got to be magic, don’t you think?” It’s classic Hallmark, but it’s still infuriating.

Through this mess, though, the film contains a few sweet moments and heartfelt storylines. For instance, Jack finds a passion for helping others, which culminates in his dedication to setting up and chaperoning a middle school dance. He guides the students in setting up intricate decorations, helps some of them to make friends or find dates to the dance, and choreographs an entire flash-mob dance number to perform with them. If the film had leaned more into this than its half-hearted romance, we might have enjoyed it a little bit more.

Overall, we’d give this movie a mediocre 3 out of 10. We would definitely watch a buddy movie about the sheriff and the deputy, though. Someone should greenlight that.