Until recently, The Bachelor was simply a fixture within pop culture I knew nothing about. In many ways, it still is. I’ve seen clips and episodes, but always had a weird feeling about the dynamic of one man on top with women flocking around him and catering to his whims. I have, however, recently indulged myself in The Bachelorette, and I’ve found that it’s really all I’m able to talk about right now. It’s so fascinating from a psychological standpoint to see the kinds of people who sign up to be part of such an intense and unorthodox TV show with the goal of finding a wife. The strategies, successes, and failures of the contestants are ones that should be studied by anyone interested in the extremes of relationship dynamics and human interaction. For reference, I’ll be using what is not only the best season of Bachelorette, but a turning point in the show’s history: Season 15, starring Hannah Brown. There will be spoilers. 

For those who have never watched, the premise of The Bachelorette stars an ex-contestant of The Bachelor and around 25 men. Each episode encapsulates a week filled with group dates, where the men compete in an activity of the woman’s choosing to win her affections; one-on-ones, where the bachelorette picks one man with whom to spend an evening; and downtime at wherever it is that they’re staying. On Hannah Brown’s season, the cast traveled to places like Scotland, Latvia, and the exotic Rhode Island. When men are successful in winning the bachelorette’s affections, they receive roses. Group dates end with a cocktail party and one rose given to the best competitor, one-on-ones end with the man either receiving a rose or going home (or sometimes begging to stay and succeeding), and the end of each week’s episode has a final rose ceremony and cocktail party where the men who did not receive roses during group dates or were not invited on any outing can have a final chance to prove themselves. If they don’t receive a rose in any format by the end of the week, their fate is sealed and they must go home. Multiple men can go home in a week, and seasons typically last around eight weeks depending on the number of contestants and other unique circumstances. 

There are three main courses of action for male contestants on The Bachelorette. For the first, Luke P. of Season 15 is a prime example. This path generally begins with the man thinking he knows far more than he actually does. Luke claimed to be falling in love with Hannah during his first group date, having known her personally for around 36 hours and a total of two conversations. This was his first mistake. It became clear he spent weeks before the show pouring over her social media accounts and past appearances on TV, forming a parasocial relationship and assuming the face she shows the public is her realest and truest self. He then realized that he had signed up for a TV show in which one woman dates 25 men at the same time, and took his frustration in sharing out on the other contestants. He quickly became aggressive, getting in physical altercations, and was described as violent, psychopathic, and manipulative by the other men. On two separate occasions, Luke was sent home and simply refused to leave. It took until the final episode of the season (along with some strong-arming from the three remaining men) to finally get him off the show. His ability to bend the truth and throw out other men’s names behind their backs kept him in the competition for far longer than anyone wanted, including Hannah. This relentless and aggressive attitude always backfires for men because it creates drama within the house that spreads into every relationship. Even when the bachelorette herself tells the contestant that their behavior is unattractive and they need to stop, they cannot help themselves, and the behavior continues until they leave. 

The second course of action, similar to the first, is one of an appeasing chameleon. The chameleon’s actions are always fueled by misinterpretations of things that the bachelorette offhandedly says she likes in a man. A perfect example of this from Hannah’s season is Cam. Although his time on the show is short lived, it is memorable because of his immediate position as the common enemy of the other men in the house. Cam arrived on the show having been given a rose already by Hannah on After The Final Rose, where ex-contestants attempt to once again find love. This gave him the idea that he was already leaps and bounds ahead of the other men. He was not. To make things worse, Cam’s motto on the show, “ABC: Always Be Cam”, was one he would repeat every single time he was on his way to perform a grand gesture that would ultimately fall flat. For the first one, he decided to show up to the cocktail party of a group date on which he wasn’t invited and crash conversations with the men that Hannah had brought, simply because she had mentioned she wanted the men to be “bold” and “real” with her. This angered all of the men in the house and put him on the outs. The second time he failed was when he brought Hannah and another man along to fake propose to her with a piece of chicken in a ring box. This had absolutely no significance to anything they’d spoken about before, any activity they’d done together, or frankly anything that had happened on the show prior to. It was awkward and uncomfortable for everyone involved apart from Cam. Further, Cam and Hannah’s conversations were constantly about all of the horrible things Cam had been through and done to get on the show, and at one point he attempted to break up four separate conversations to tell Hannah he had quit his job and rehomed his puppy to be there. Which is a shame, because all of the sob stories came off to her as a scummy attempt to get a pity rose and she sent him home. 

The final prevalent archetype on The Bachelorette is the golden child. Every contestant on the show has faults except for this one. The golden boy of Season 15 was Peter the pilot. Peter did everything right. His opening, giving Hannah a pair of pilot’s wings, was sweet and memorable, but not too intense like Luke’s one-liner or overly sentimental like Cam’s acoustic rap. Peter involved himself in none of the drama, even when Luke physically assaulted another contestant during their rugby match in Rhode Island. When all of the men focused their attention on conflict and drama between contestants, he consistently focused on his individual relationship with Hannah and never questioned her judgment of the others. During hometowns week, where Hannah visits the families of the final four men and goes on a date planned by them for once, Pete and his family were undeniably the sweetest and most well-adjusted of the bunch. At the risk of being boring, the golden child forfeits all possible memorability in the beginning few episodes to become a reliable rock of a partner by the end. Consistency is always key.

Obviously, every season has variations on these archetypes, and as the show continues and men evolve there will be more personalities that become recognizable each time. In fact, I would encourage anyone interested in topics like male vs female socialization, interpersonal relationships, the effects of competition on the moral character, group mentalities and dynamics, and gender studies to view The Bachelorette and The Bachelor with a more critical, academic lens. I would further urge you to find me and talk to me about your findings; you’ll soon discover the show’s long episodes and fast-moving plotlines have a way of taking over your brain for the duration of your binge. Hence this article. Start with Season 15.