I Am More Than My Trials

Marie Mawby, 39, peers out of her living room window after hearing some of her neighbors passing by on their quiet residential street in Excelsior Springs, Mo. on September 22, 2022. Marie often has community members come to her home to chat, ask for advice or share news from their lives. “I am here to do heart work. I like to do things for people that make them feel good,” she said. “I like to help where it is needed, if someone calls and they need me, I go.”

Marie Mawby reaches over the table to gently touch her grandmother’s hand while having their regularly scheduled lunch at the local community senior center in Excelsior Springs, Mo. on September 21, 2022. Marie describes her grandmother Doris Taylor as her role model, “I modeled myself after my grandma, she's a natural born helper,” she said. “Grandma buys groceries for people, prays for people. Grandma raised me when she didn't have to. She put me through college and paid for my wedding. She's my rock.”

Marie Mawby’s weekly routine includes checking in on her grandmother Doris Taylor at her home in the historically Black neighborhood of Excelsior Springs, Mo. on September 20, 2022. They share stories of her childhood and family history. “I grew up on the hill at my grandma's house, which was where most of the Black community lived,” she said. “I was blessed to have my grandma, my great-grandma and my great-great-grandma. There's not a lot of people that are blessed enough to see that many generations of women in their family, especially strong Black women.”

Behind the Price Chopper grocery in Excelsior Springs, Mo. stands the local Black cemetery which is home to the oldest tombstones of the Black community. Marie Mawby frequently visits her ancestors' graves and tends to their tombstones by dusting them off and pulling the weeds around them. As she looks down on the grave of one of her great grandmothers, she says “I want to fix up the Black cemetery that is not really known about here in town. I want to let people know ‘Hey, right as you're shopping at a Price Chopper there is a whole lineage of my family who are buried behind there.’”

Marie Mawby and her daughter Lillian spend a quiet moment together in Lillian's room filling each other in on their day, sharing stories as best friends would. Their deep bond has been helpful for Lillian as she navigates the silent racism that her mother knows all too well. Marie shares “Being a Black woman in Excelsior Springs is not easy,” she said. “I was quieter about it as a child because I didn't really have my voice, but I'm a lot more vocal about it now ever since having Lillian who has experienced some very hateful things in her high school. There was a group called The Klan and were allowed to wear rebel flag shirts to school simply because it's their freedom of speech. She got called the N word quite a bit even though she is bi-racial, and that makes me wonder, ‘Wow what do they think of me?’”

Marie Mawby and her husband Rob share their passion for music in a band they have together with other local musicians in Excelsior Springs, Mo. They rehearse regularly for upcoming performances at local venues and events. “Music is my outlet. It's an emotional thing for me, to be able to play music with the person I love the most. It's a real gift,” she said.

Marie Mawby and her husband Rob spend the evenings together preparing family dinners to enjoy with their daughter Lillian in their family home in Excelsior Springs, Mo. “I would drop anything for my family. Family is the most important thing to me,” she said.

Marie Mawby greets her daughter Lilian’s boyfriend Brandon as he picks her up for a date outside of their home in Excelsior Springs, Mo. in September 2022.

Marie Mawby visits Excelsior Springs High School in Excelsior Springs, Mo. after receiving one of the regular calls from the students of the dance team that she used to coach. Although Marie is no longer the dance coach, the students still ask her to come review their dance routines before they perform them for the school. “I worked at the community center for five years as the youth and family manager,” she said. “I enjoyed working with the babies and the seniors the most. I consider a lot of the people who still work there my family.” She said she lost her job there almost a year ago after speaking up when she witnessed discrimination.

Marie Mawby and her husband Rob enjoy time together after dinner watching football and talking about their day in their home in Excelsior Springs, Mo. Marie credits her husband Rob with being a major influence and support in her emotional wellbeing and healing after losing her job. “I felt like all my work was invalidated just from that one incident where I was trying to stand up for someone,” she said. “Thankfully I have a husband who is forever on my side. I am finding my way, slowly. The trials I went through made me grow and it has made me louder, stronger and I will continue to stand up for people who cannot stand up for themselves.”

Outside of the local community center in Excelsior Springs, Mo., Marie Mawby hugs an old co-worker after not seeing each other since she lost her job. Although the loss of the job she loved so much was very hard for her, she was reflective after a recent visit to the community center. “Sometimes we can be so hard on ourselves during our hard times, I think we forget how much good is around us,” she said. “In my darkest time, I would say to myself, give yourself grace, time to heal, time to move on, time to dream bigger. I am more than my trials.”