There is no perfect journey and a perfect way to reach our destination but for sure there is always a perfect guidance and not just a guidance but a comfort. I just wanna share my experiences during our 5 day retreat. How good to start discussing Mary for the first days of the retreat. Every time I reflect on my priestly vocation I would always come back to the days where I started thinking to follow the Lord. I am not romanticizing my words by the way but those experiences that I had really made my vocation strong. It was in May 2015 when I entered to the seminary and upon entering to the door of the seminary I saw a big Marian statue and there is a name beside her “Mary, Mother of vocation”. All of a sudden, there was one Italian old priestwho approached me and said to me” she will be your guide and without her you will not survive” That statement is actually very deep but when he started smiling at me I realized, I have to know more about Mary. During the third day of our 5 day retreat one of the topic that was presented is “under the mantle of Mary”. I would always love to reflect what John Paul II stated about Mary. He said, “Among creatures, no one knows Christ better than Mary” . Mary was chosen by God not because she is good but because Mary has shown her availability to follow the will of God. When the angel appeared to her and told her “you will conceive a child “She did not say, let me think about it or she did not ask why her? She humbly responded “be it done to me according to your word” What made me amazed is that she does not even know what will happen to her in the future but still she followed the Lord and for her putting all her trust to the will of God is the best response. Pondering these words I asked myself how can I even follow the Lord in this kind of vocation if my heart is full doubts. I always think what will happen to me in the future. I always think what will be my advantage and even benefits if I continue this kind of life but I was wrong. The only perfect person who can prove that you can follow God without any doubts and worries is none other than Mary. In the first day of our retreat we discussed about Mary encountering 7 important persons. Without prolonging the story, I encountered Mary through the mystery of my Vocation. I remember 2 years ago, when I asked to have a regency program outside. I thought it was a punishment for me. I know very well my fault and my mistakes but then again I realized that the year of my regency program was actually the best moment of my priestly vocation. Those times where I faced again the reality of life outside. There was also a moment where I was feeling hopeless. There was a moment that I want to give up and I was even thinking that maybe I was just forcing myself to the life where I am not meant to be. Thanks be to God, Mary came to the rescue. I remember when I was still teaching and as much as possible every day after my class I was really trying my best to attend the mass. Before going home I have to travel like 45 minutes to go the church. Providentially, the name of the church where I used to attend is “Our Lady of Grace Parish”. The church is located in grace park Caloocan. I will never forget the moments where I always visit that church to attend the mass and I will always beg in front of the Our Lady of Grace to help me in my discernment and help me to come back to the seminary. When I was about to write a letter of intent whether to come back or not. I went to that Church and I asked Mary while praying and I said “If God is still calling me then he will make a way. As I discern to come back may you Mother Mary never leave my side. Indeed God is gracious and he heard my prayers. In one of the topics that we had, we discussed the 7 journeys of Mary. I would like to reflect the six one “The finding of Jesus in the temple” This talks about the journey to search for Jesus. My priestly vocation is not just a journey to become a priest. It is also a journey to be more closer to God and Mary is the best way to be more closer to her son. Mary reminds me that in searching for Jesus, it requires humility and openes. I know I still have a long journey to go and Mary keeps on reminding me that I must not be afraid to continue following the will of his son. In all the experiences I had, I am proud to say that I have surpassed a lot of challenges in my vocation and now I am more ready to face any challenges because I know that in this kind of journey one thing is certain, Mary is always here to guide me and she will always let me feel her maternal care and love. Just like a mother who knows what is best for her son. I don’t know of course what will happen in the future but one thing is certain , I want to hold on to my priestly vocation with the help and guidance of Mary!

There are times in life when silence will say more than words could ever convey. One such sacred pause in my life was recently taken in the form of a spiritual retreat—a stepping back not from the world, but into it more deeply. It was the journey into an encounter with God, self, and the humanity of others. And in these lazy, quiet days, spent peacefully reflecting, praying, and discerning, yet again, I reminisce about the beauty and burden of a missionary call. A Meaningful Encounter with God, the Self, and Others When we encounter God, we are, in effect, meeting the mystery of Love. Yet, love is not always sweet or tender; sometimes it confronts, reveals, and reorders things. I met God in prayer, not with thunder but rather with that still, small voice that brought me to uncomfortable questions: What inhibits you still? Whose pain have you ignored? Whose voice have you silenced - even your own? Thus, I met myself against those questions. Not the one that everyone sees - the committed missionary; or the perfect parish servant - but the broken, tired, and at times insecure soul beneath. Yet, here was where I also found the rediscovery of my belovedness. For, indeed, God does not call the perfect; He calls the willing. And in this willingness, I would begin to see others as people to be loved rather than projects to be saved.

With Mary, the Mission Becomes Clearer the retreat gave rise to reflections on the Blessed Virgin Mary, a woman of great encounters. From her annunciation with Gabriel to her visit with Elizabeth, from her quiet strength at Cana to her silent suffering at the foot of the Cross — these events signal Mary's journey of availability, courage, and companionship. She listened, even when she did not understand everything. She acted when the cost was not clear. Mary was with Jesus during His life and ministry, not in the limelight but never far away. Her traits — attentive, compassionate, humble, and strong — challenge me to be a missionary without seeking recognition or celebrity without seeking power but truly be in selfless service.

The Word, the Eucharist, and the Community: Anchors of Mission Every day would start and end with a Word and Eucharist. In Scriptures, I heard again this God who speaks personally, not abstractly. In Eucharist, I received not a ritual, but Christ Himself — the very source of my strength. And in the quiet conversations with fellow retreatants, I rediscovered the value of community. How odd it is to be that we walk together — to bear the burden of each other's loads, to weep over another's tears, to laugh at mutual foolishness. Missionary life can be lonely, but not if we keep in mind that the Church is a body, not a battalion of individual soldiers. Commitment, Social Responsibility, and Discernment.

In the stillness, I was invited to recommit — not merely to spiritual habits, but to people. The real mission is not just spiritual — it is profoundly social. It asks me to confront injustice, tell the truth, and serve the oppressed. But this must be done from a place of discernment — of hearing where God is leading me, and not where my ego desires to wander. The retreat reminded me of something: we are not saviors. Christ is. But we are His instruments, and we must stay in tune to be effective instruments.

Understanding and Accompaniment: The Heart of Mission One of the best things I’ll carry from the retreat is the importance of understanding people — listening, not to respond, but to understand. People do not require quick fixes. They need companions. They require someone who will journey with them — slowly, faithfully, honestly. To accompany is to say, I do not know the answers, but I am remaining. And is not that what Mary did for Jesus? Is not that what Jesus does for us?

This spiritual retreat was not a vacation from mission — it was a return to its core. In the quiet, I regained God. In encountering God, I discovered myself. And in unraveling myself, I began seeing others as treasures, not tasks. I return to the world not with additional strategies, but with greater sincerity. Not with more vocal preaching, but with more attentive listening. Not with sweeping plans, but with a more solid heart. Because ultimately, the life of a missionary is not about accomplishing more — it is about becoming more: more present, more kind, more like Christ.

The world seems to be smaller now, this was my first impression when we were informed that we are to undergo the Pastoral Orientation Year. I got used to in bigger communities, from the very beginning of my formation at the Lorenzo Mission Institute and even when I applied for a regency program last 2024. God moves differently and would always break my plans and assert his own. This ruined plan always end up in the greatest decision I had ever made. This year is really a great leap of faith, I am entering into a great unknown, a place that I never saw coming quickly. Though stepping in the orientation year is a great leap of faith, it is also a time for me to be fondled in the lap of the Good Shepherd.

As we have begun this new step of formation, our retreat made me delve deeper on the profound meaning of the word “Gratitude” is continually echoed in mind min while our retreat was on going, it is as if God wants me to learn something form this. Day by day, this word becomes clearer, it is not simply a word, but it had become a reminder for me that each moment that I am here is a moment to thank the Lord who have lent me this vocation and be thankful for the people around me who have supported me all the way. As day goes by, I have slept peacefully each night like a newborn child carried by his parents and protected by their embrace. Each passing day in this formation, I am called to look back on my spiritual life and the call that I have answered. It has invited me to grasp and learn from the words of Jesus to “remain in his love” (Jn. 15:9). As we have concluded the retreat, and begin a more serious pastoral formation, I carry with me a renewed sense of purpose, a deeper commitment to my vocation, and openness to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. It too reminded me that answering call is never a singular process, but it is a way of communion, communion with God, communion with the people around me.

As I look back on our retreat, I am filled with gratitude for the time spent away from the busyness of daily life. This retreat have provided for me a sacred space for prayer, reflection, and community, allowing me to deepen my relationship with God and with others. As I begin to thread the path God has prepared for me, I cannot but be thankful for the many little encounters that I had with the people outside the seminary walls. Their stories and lively faith have reminded me of the profound and deep meaning of being a missionary, of being sent even to the places that I have least expected. This retreat was an opportunity to elevate my heart and mind, focusing on what truly matters.

My reflection will be focusing on the fruits during the first and second day of the retreat because they broaden my understanding about mission. And, I will also include the topic that was discussed during the last day of the retreat which summarizes all the topics that had been done throughout the five-day retreat.

The first day of our retreat, we talked about the seven persons whom the Blessed Virgin Mary encountered namely: Joseph, Angel Gabriel, Elizabeth, Shepherds and Magi, Simeon and Anna, Waiters, John the beloved disciple. It highlights the various of these people in the life and mission of Mary. They had different roles to assist Mary to fulfill her mission entrusted by God. In other words, they were very significant to Mary’s missions. These encounters of Mary helped me realize how important the people I encountered in the past years were to me with regard to the my present life and mission. They were instruments sent by God to help me fulfill the things expected from me as a missionary. This includes my behavior, my perspectives in life, my decisions on a day to day basis, my spiritual maturity, and my social life. Just like Mary, her encounter with different people even to the very least of the society like the servants and waiters at the wedding in Cana, became significant to her missionary vocation. Therefore, it is an invitation for me to recognize the value of the different people I encountered in the mission even  those people who are considered the very least in the society.

During the morning conference of the second day of the retreat, we discussed about the “Top Dog Personality” while in the afternoon we reflected on the “7 Major Fears of the Human Person.” The morning talk helped me understand one of the kinds of personality that I will be dealing with in the mission. This personality sometimes bothers me a lot because I had a difficulty in handling them. Imagine that these people follow their own rules. They like to impose rules to others but they are the first ones to violate it. I had already encountered this kind of personality with different people and I always felt short about understanding them. There was a time that I almost got a serious problem when I dealt with one them. However, when I understand where this personality was rooted from, I cannot blame them because they experienced being a victim of a "Top Dog Personality" in the past. A "Top Dog Person" is one who wants always to be recognized as leader. He is usually a person who makes his authority felt. He usually is a dictator. He wants all things to be centered on him. He wants all things to be known by him and he wants to hold many positions as he could in the community to satisfy his yearning for authority. He dictates, he makes people his servants, he lacks attention and he likes entitlement. This person does not listen to others, he wants people to listen to him instead. His insecurities in life have to be compensated with authoritative positions.  Looking at these helped me to process myself. Therefore, it was a shift for me towards understanding them from being impolite. On the other hand, the afternoon helps me realized the common experienced of the people in fear: hunger, darkness, failure, choice, death, lost, and isolation. People are afraid that they may experience this in their life. Unfortunately, people whether they like it or not, they cannot run away from these fears. Therefore, as missionaries of God it is my mission to prepare myself to catechize people about it. To tell them that our fears were already conquered by our Lord Jesus Christ.

Lastly, the discussion on last day of the retreat was about the “seven spiritual works of mercy” namely: counsel the doubtful, instruct the ignorant, admonish the sinners, comfort the afflicted, forgive offenses, bear wrongs patiently, and pray for the living. Upon reflecting and pondering each spiritual work I realized that they will precisely be the mission that I will be doing in the future. As aspiring to become a missionary priest I need to acquaint myself with the seven- spiritual works of mercy to fulfill the mission entrusted by the Lord.

Being in a mission is both a challenge and a call. One should always be prepared of the challenges and uncertainties of missionary life. Adapting to its different culture, language, tradition, and even encountering the people within and around the area. It is a challenge to survive and to live where one is being planted. But it is also a call from God, a call to serve, to encounter, and to be immersed to those people who are in need. A call to be of service to those who need to listen more to God’s word. That is why it is also a gift from God that one needs to be cherished upon.

Journeying and doing mission alone is a difficult task to do since one could not do a certain task without the help of the other. Doing it alone is somehow being proud of one’s self and not being open to others. Opening one’s self to others is also a humbling and a learning experience for both. Indeed, no man is an island and no man should be left behind. We could not live alone and we could not journey alone in this world. Man will always need a helping hand and someone to lean on.

As a missionary, one should understand the different personalities of a person. There are a lot of it especially in the parishes and in the communities. These persons with different personalities should not be treated as different or as a threat to one another but rather they should be an avenue for a missionary to grow and to be partners in the mission. They could not be eliminated in the community because they teach us also to embrace God’s gift as persons. It could be difficult to deal with them at first, but learning and studying their personalities leads one to love them all the more and to serve them with an open arms. 

One perfect example of encountering and journeying with these person as a missionary is the Blessed Mother. Mary encountered a lot of people in her lifetime. She encountered different personalities and even different attitudes but she embraced everyone as co-partners in the mission of God. It is necessary for a missionary to know, immerse, and understand the personalities of each person because, in one way or the other, it could be a part of one’s personalities as well. These personalities could be beneficial but it could also be harmful if one is not aware of one’s personalities. Just like Mary, she embraced those people who became her companions in her life and even those people who made her faith even more stronger and more deeper. She even embraced those people who, in one way or the other, become mysterious for her, just like the angel who announced that she will be the mother of the Savior. There are different persons that she encountered but all of these became part of her life. These people will help us understand what life is all about and how life should be.

As a future missionary, these people should not be neglected, should not be misunderstood, and most of all, should not be regarded as someone who is useless. These people should be regarded as part of the missionary Church, as part of God’s people, a holy and chosen people. Sometimes, as pastors of the Church, we tend to forget those whom we encounter in a little and simple events. Pastors nowadays look at someone who are beneficial to the parish and to them. Most of the time, these simple living people are being disregarded and are being left behind. Those who lived in the slums, in the squatters area, in the informal settling areas, and even in the street, are the ones who should be regarded as part of the missionary activity of the Church. They are the people who, most of the time, contribute themselves to the works and activities of the Church. These are the people who will always be part of the Church and are always being left behind and left unseen and unrecognized. Mary welcomed everyone in their house and in their journey in life. She welcomed both the shepherds and the magi, a symbolism that Mary welcomed both the rich and the poor alike because she knew that these people deserve to see and gaze on the lovely face of Christ, the first missionary. It is a challenge for me that as I begin this missionary journey, this pastoral orientation year, may I become like Mary who is open to all both the poor and rich alike. May I really become a “mama’s boy” imitating her virtues and examples as I journey and form myself as a true living missionary of Christ.

The recent retreat given to us was a profound and grace-filled experience. It offered not only a break from our usual schedule but also a sacred space to reflect more deeply on our vocation. The themes that guided our reflection mission and communion are both essential dimensions of the life we are preparing for. Throughout the retreat, I was invited to revisit what these words truly mean and how they are already at work in my journey of formation. First, we were asked to reflect on the meaning of mission. Too often, when I think of mission, I immediately associate it with going out into the world, preaching, organizing parish activities, or working in the missions abroad. While all of these are indeed part of the Church’s mission, I realized that mission begins long before the action. It begins in the heart. It begins with being rooted in a personal relationship with Christ. Before I can speak about Him or act in His name, I must first know Him and allow Him to transform me. The recollection emphasized that mission is not something we create or control. It is a calling, something that comes from God. Jesus, the perfect missionary, was constantly in communion with the Father. His every word and action flowed from that communion. In the same way, our mission must flow from prayer, silence, and discernment. As a seminarian, I am being prepared not simply to “do things for God,” but to become someone through whom God can act. This shift in perspective was very important for me. I understood more clearly that my future ministry will not depend on my talents alone, but on how much I allow myself to be formed by Christ. Equally central to the retreat was the theme of communion.

Living in seminary, we are constantly in community with others sharing meals, praying together, studying side by side. At times, it is easy to fall into routine and even become frustrated with differences in personality or opinion. But the retreat challenged me to see communion not as a human arrangement, but as a spiritual reality. We are called to reflect the life of the Trinity a perfect communion of love in our relationships with one another. Communion calls me to deeper understanding, charity, patience, and forgiveness. It requires that I not simply tolerate others but love them as Christ loves me. During the retreat, I reflected on how often I might judge or distance myself from others in subtle ways. I was reminded that communion is built not in dramatic acts but in small, daily choices to listen, to serve, and to remain open hearted. It is also nourished by the Eucharist, where we are united in the one Body of Christ. What struck me most deeply was the realization that mission and communion are inseparable. One does not exist without the other. If we are sent to proclaim the Gospel but lack communion with one another, our message will lack authenticity. Likewise, if we enjoy harmony among ourselves but are not open to sharing Christ with the world, our communion becomes closed in on itself. The early Church was fruitful because they lived both realities: they were “of one heart and soul,” and “went out boldly to proclaim the Word.” This retreat has left me with a deeper awareness that my vocation is not my own. It is a gift for the Church and for the world. As a seminarian, I am already participating in the mission and communion of the Church, not only in what I do but in how I live each day. I am called to embody Christ first in small things: in prayer, in fraternity, and in service. These are the building blocks of the priesthood I am preparing for. In conclusion, I am grateful for the retreat and for the opportunity to pause and listen. It reminded me that being a seminarian is not just preparation for some future mission it is a mission in itself. And it is in living this mission, in communion with my brothers and with Christ, that I continue to grow into the priest I am called to become.