Fighting the Stigma Against Mental Illness

By Kierstyn Torres-Gonzalez

One of the biggest lies that people ever tell is “I’m fine.” Day in and day out, people pass each other in the halls of schools, businesses, stores, greeting each other with a classic, “Hi, how are you?”. And almost every time--if not every time--the response is simply “I’m good; how are you?”. Very rarely, however, is that response the whole truth.

Just off the top of my head, I can name at least thirty people I know personally who deal with some form of anxiety or depression. And of those people, only one openly talks about their struggles. That’s not a good ratio--and why is that? More often than not, those people that are struggling with something know someone who is struggling with it too--but neither of them talk about it, because, with our unfortunate stigma, they feel like they can’t.

We live in a competitive society where we consistently feel like we need to be on top, in sports, in social standings, in life. This means that, more often than not, if something about who we are keeps us from being on top, we will simply ignore it in the hopes that everyone else will too. The same goes for mental illness. No one ever wants to admit that they’re struggling, because that would mean that there’s something wrong with you, no matter how many people might be going through the same thing. By conceding to the fact that something is wrong with us, we’re indicating that we have a problem, and problems just don’t fly in a society that is (supposedly) filled with perfect, unbeatable people.

Now, admittedly, not everyone feels the need to be perfect at everything all the time, and no one really is completely perfect or completely on top. But we consistently feel like someone else is, and so we feel the need to be too--and that’s not healthy for anyone. In fact, this mindset often adds to the anxiety that people are already suffering from, and thus the build continues.

And with so few people actually talking about it, there is a major lack of understanding of what individuals who suffer from mental illness go through. So when someone actually tries to share their story, they are often judged for it or not believed, often not being taken seriously, or being told their problems aren’t worth anything compared to others. Suddenly, these kids, these teens, these adults, are being forced to defend themselves against their friends and family.

“No, I’m not using anxiety meds to get high--you can’t get high off of anxiety meds.”

“Yes, I’m aware that my uncle has suffered through a war, but I’m trying to explain to you that I’m struggling to handle this specific situation right now.”

“No, I’m not making this up. I really feel like crying right now. Why don’t you believe me?”

Rather than saying something that will only bring them more judgement and more struggles, people hide themselves from the world. They might be seeing a therapist, but never tell anyone, or they might not even be seeing a therapist at all, just to avoid ridicule. Nobody will believe them anyways, and it’ll just make them seem like more of a problem to the world. So what’s the point in saying anything?

Luckily, many of those people also have close friends that they can share things with when they’re struggling. I’m one of those people, on both ends of that conversation. However, sometimes, people need more support than that. So, my request is this:

Learn to be more understanding about this issue. It exists. It affects the people around you--even those you might not expect. And we need to start establishing the fact that anxiety is a chronic issue, just like asthma or diabetes, and it shouldn’t be seen any differently just because it isn’t directly physical.

It is an illness. And while many people out there deal with it in the best ways they can on their own, sometimes they need other people to help them. That said, asking for help isn’t a bad thing. If that’s what you need, that’s what you need, and no one should be afraid to ask for that help.

This is a hard time for everyone. With big changes and major life decisions, it’s normal to have trouble dealing with these issues. But if we can learn from each other, and learn how to help each other--on both sides of this issue--we can learn how to support and understand each other.

It starts with recognizing that mental illness exists, and that we need to acknowledge it not as something that just go away, but as something that needs support and understanding.

If someone on crutches was walking next to you, you would hold the door open for them. So why don’t we behave the same way for someone who looks like they’re having a really bad day? Just because you can’t always directly see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t there. And just because someone doesn’t say anything doesn’t mean they aren’t going through something.

I know that there’s only so much we can do, and I don’t expect everybody to notice every little problem that everyone is going through. All I’m asking is that we try to understand, and that we try to be kind--because we can all choose to be kind.

Don’t push mental illness under the rug as something that doesn’t really exist. Because it does. And that’s normal. So let’s deal with it as such.

Maybe if we do that, we can help those who are suffering, and our world might get just a little better.

This is just one opinion on the issue of mental illness. There are other sides to this story. Some people believe that mental illness is used too often as an excuse or a joke for people’s behavior.

Others feel that we’re handling mental illness as best we can, and there isn’t more to be said about it.

Still others think we only avoid the topic because no one knows how to talk about it.

In the end, what is clearest is that we simply need more education.

If we can learn how to handle these situations--both for those struggling with it, and for those trying to help them--then we can learn how to handle our world and environment.

And that is the true message.

Here are some techniques The American Psychological Association recommends to reduce stress and anxiety:

Get Active - Find activities you enjoy. Try yoga, hiking, biking, a pick up game of basketball, or just talking a walk.

Get Enough Sleep - APA recommends at least 8 hours of sleep for teens.

Look for Balance - School is important but always schedule time in for fun.

Enjoy Yourself - Experiment with new hobbies; these can be used as coping mechanisms too.

Let Yourself Shine - Discover what you are good at and like doing--then share that skill with others.

Talk About It - It is easier to manage stress when you ask for help from people you trust.