Parenting a Difficult Child
When a child is challenging you may find yourself frustrated and at a loss for what to do. Sometimes one child seems to be more work and harder to manage than 3 kids combined. Children who tend to be oppositional need to be parented differently from kids who are compliant. Behaviorally challenged children need help to fit in
Often loses his/her temper
Often argues with adults
Often defies people in authority
Often blames others
Often deliberately annoys people
Often angry
Behaviorally challenging kids are challenging because they do not have the skills to NOT be challenging
Helping Your Child Develop Self-Control Skills
1. Do not ignore or inadvertently reward bad behavior
2. Give your child reminders or prompts
3. Help kids avoid temptation: Out of sight, out of mind
4. Consistently Reward Self Control (your praise)
5. Help kids want to do tasks or chores: (combine work with pleasure
6. Play games that help preschoolers practice self-control (red light green light etc.)
7. Give kids a break (they need down time)
8. Help them learn that tackling challenges is good whether they succeed or fail. (They will be more likely to learn from their mistakes)
9. Help children develop their attention. (breaking down complex tasks, and providing kids with friendly reminders)
10. Help kids understand their emotions." (Talk to kids about their feeling and how to cope).
11. Encourage Planning (remind them & help them)
Understand consequences
1. Teach to Prevent Problems
2. Talk with your child about how all actions positive or negative have consequences
3. Use Corrective Teaching:
a. Stop the behavior, describe the bad behavior
b. Give a consequence
c. Describe the positive behavior you want
d. Practice
4. Be consistent
5. Be flexible
6. Use consequences
7. Reward Positive Behavior.
8. Be Fair
9. Rewards that cost no money:
a. staying up late, having extra TV or video game time, having a friend over, doing 1 less chore, eating special snacks, stay up a little later to read, having Mom or Dad read them a story, using the car
POSITIVE PARENTING
ADDitude Magazine 09/2020
1. Believe in your child’s future: Treat your child like they were already the person you want them to be.
2. Be a good Role Model: If you cannot control yourself how can you expect your child to control themselves.
3. Do not be too quick to say NO A child will be more likely to be rebellious if their parent automatically says no.
4. Make a big deal out of positive behavior. Go out of your way to “catch” your child being good. Children who are difficult get a lot of negative feedback.
5. Make a plan and keep a schedule. Last minute changes can be difficult just like interruptions in routine.
6. Do not buy into negative remarks. Just because your child is difficult does not mean that they will not be successful.
7. Discipline, Don’t Punish Do not punish every little infraction, stick to a consistent set of rules.
8. Never punish for unintentional misdeeds
9. Don’t label your child
10. Make your child responsible
Channing
Helpful Websites:
https://www.parents.com/kids/discipline/strategies/the-one-week-fix-for-bad-behavior/
Parenting Books
No More Misbehavin': 38 Difficult Behaviors and How to Stop Them
by Michele Borba (Author)
UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World
by Michele Borba Dr. (Author)
Don't Give Me That Attitude: 24 Rude, Selfish, Insensitive Things Kids Do and How to Stop Them
by Michele Borba (Author)
The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges
by Michele Borba (Author)
SOS Help for Parents: A practical Guide for everyday behavior problems
Lynn Clark, Ph.D. (Author)
Common Sense Parenting: Using your head as well as your heart
Ray Burke, Ph.D., Ron Herron and Bridget Barnes (Authors)
Quirky Kids: Understanding and Helping Your Child Who Doesn't Fit In- When to Worry and When Not to Worry Paperback – August 31, 2004
by Perri Klass, Eileen Costello (Authors)