Navigating life online

Te haumaru tuihono

We use our devices to do almost everything these days, including shopping, exercise, improve our sleep, connect with people, learn, explore social media, take photos, record videos, play music, watch TV and movies.... the list is almost endless. Having such ready access to online life has it perks, for sure. It also has its risks.

Keeping safe online

Watch your digital footprint

Netsafe describes your digital footprint as "the trail of ‘electronic breadcrumbs’ you leave behind when you use the internet. It can include the websites you visit, the photos you upload and your interactions with other people on social networks." It is important to think about this as future employers often check your digital footprint during the interview process. Try and remind yourself about this before you post anything online.

Take care with what you share

Whenever we post online, it can be easy to forget that we often don't know who can see our posts. Before you post anything, try and ask yourself if you really need to share it and if you do share it, what could happen with the information. Never share your home address, your phone number, bank account or credit card details, your social media account or email passwords. Think carefully before sharing what school you go to and the area you live in too.

Once you post it, it is online forever

Remember that once you post something online, you lose control of it. This includes photos, posts, videos, comments in online communities, etc. Even if you remove your content yourself by deleting it (if this is possible), it could already have been copied, shared or be used to threaten you in the future. The implications of this can impact you reputation, your relationships and even your future employment. Think before you post!

Nudes & Sexting

It might feel like everyone is exchanging nudes or sexting so what's the big deal? The big deal is that once you send a nude or a partial nude, even if this is in a trusting relationship, you lose control over what is done with this image or video. It is never OK to be pressured into sharing nudes and it is never OK to send or receive a nude without asking for one. If you share a nude without consent it is now against the law. For more information and support around nudes and sexting check out Keeping It Real Online and Netsafe: bare facts. If you have sent nudes that you know are being shared without your consent or you are receiving unwanted nudes, the HPSS Counselling team can support you with this.

Misinformation

There is SO much information online - how do we know what is correct and what might be misinformation? Misinformation can be hard to spot. There are different types of misinformation, each with a different intended effect: mis-information (is false but does not intend to cause harm), dis-information (fake, created to harm) and mal-information (based on reality used to inflict harm). Confused? The important thing is to consider where the information you are reading has come from and what the intended effect of this might be. Find out more at Keep it Real Online.

Porn

It is OK to be curious about sex and we know that there is a lot of porn online - whether you are looking for this or not! Something that is not always clear when viewing porn is that the relationships and encounters in porn are not real and they do not reflect healthy, respectful relationships. Those who are in porn are actors. Porn is also not a good way to learn about sex. If you would like some support with your use of porn or you are being pressured to watch porn, there is a lot of good info at Keep it real and The Light Project. The HPSS counselling team are happy to offer you support with this too.

Online Relationships

Online relationships are nothing new for most of you. Online relationships can refer to friends or romantic partners. You may have met the person you want to start an online relationship with irl before it begins or you may have only ever interacted online. All of the signs of an unhealthy relationship, guidelines around intimate images/recordings and reporting apply to online relationships too. Some other things to remember: take time to get to know the person, don't share any private or identifying information early in the relationship and never share your passwords or account details. It can also help to turn off your location trackers on any social media and if do decide to meet up in person, do so in a public place and take someone else with you.

Online Gaming

Many of you enjoy online gaming in its many forms. Gaming with people you don't know can also bring with it some risks. Some tips that might help: choose a safe username that does not identify you at all, make sure your username or nickname does not include your real name or anything else identifiable, be careful what you share when talking to other players and think about who you're playing with. Consider how you talk to people while playing - it's OK to play to win but try to play to win nicely! It can also help to check your privacy settings to make sure your system is safe and keep an eye out for in-app purchases - you don't want to rack up a massive credit card bill for your parents! Don't forget to take breaks while gaming too.

Online bullying

Unfortunately many of you will be familiar with online bullying. Online bullying is more than someone posting a nasty comment about you - it is intentional, harmful and occurs over a long period of time. Online bullying can be physical (eg: threats to hurt you), emotional (eg: calling you names, being verbally abusive) or social (eg: rumours, isolating you from others). Whatever form it takes, online bullying is not OK. If you do feel like you are being bullied, take screenshots of the interactions, do not respond and reach out to any HPSS staff member or the counselling team for help. You can consider blocking the person/people online also. Check out ICON - a fab site created by a group of HPSS students for more advice.

Unwanted contact

Although the internet is a great place to meet people and make new friends, there are some people online who do not have good intentions. There are also people online who are not who they say they are - they could be trying to trick you so they can take advantage of you and/or threaten you. If there is a sexual nature to this contact, it is called grooming. Sometimes this contact is inappropriate from the beginning so it is easy to spot - like receiving a dick pic from a stranger. Other times someone might spend a bit of time getting to know you and then the pics/requests start coming. If you find yourself in this situation you have done nothing wrong. Get in touch with us and we can support you with this.

Upsetting content

Sometimes you can come across content online that is really distressing. This can happen when you least expect it - clicking into a site that looks quite innocent, opening an email that includes something you did not expect or someone else shows you something on their device that really upsets you. If this happens to you, the first thing to do is click out of the image/email/video/site. Then consider whether this content could have been faked. You can then think about whether you would like to take any further action about what you saw. Check out the Reporting section of this page below. Make sure you talk with someone about this experience so you can get some support about how it left you feeling too.

Trolls

If you haven't heard of the term Troll before when talking about the internet, it does not refer to those cute little garden ornaments in your nan's garden. An online troll is someone who deliberately posts offensive, provocative, graphic, distressing content to get a response. They may try to start fights online and generally stir everyone up to get attention. If you come across a troll it is important to remember what they are trying to do - get a reaction from you. If you can, the best way to approach a troll is to completely ignore them. If their posts are really concerning you can consider reporting their posts on the platform you are using - see below.

Worried about someone online

When talking online people sometimes talk about hurting themselves or thinking about this. They might also discuss hurting someone else. If you are worried about someone online you do not need to manage with this alone. The best and most important thing you can do for this person is get them some help. If the person is in immediate danger, contact their parents or the Police. If the danger is not immediate, get in touch with us and we can explore options with you.

Reporting

  • If you come across or receive harmful, offensive or distressing content online you can choose to report it on the platform that you came across it on. View instructions on how to report on major social media platforms here.

  • You can report content like this to Netsafe.

  • If the person who posted or sent the content is a student at HPSS you can contact SLT, your Hub Coach or one of the counselling team.

  • If the content is illegal, you can also report it to the Police.

Where can I can go for help?

Your first stop is the HPSS counselling team. Get in touch if you would like support with anything related to navigating life online.

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