Ask Blair is an advice column run by a GPHS student under the alias of Blair. Its purpose is to provide advice to students in search of it. Keep in mind that your responses will most likely be in the next issue of The Scroll. See below for our advice request form.
Thinking is good. Part of life is all about thinking and considering different things. However, overthinking can be stressful and cause problems. According to Cleveland Clinic, "overthinking creates more stress by focusing on the negative, dwelling on the past and worrying about your future." If you are thinking about the past, stressing about the future, or worrying about things you cannot control, then it can be beneficial to take a step back and relax. Read a book you want to read, watch your favorite movie, play a game you enjoy, or practice a hobby you like to get your mind off of what troubles you. If you are thinking about things within your control, such as deciding between two options, then you could make a pros and cons list to help ease your mind. You should never stifle your thoughts completely, but calm them when they are racing and out of control.
As you have many points, I will go through them individually, in order. First, I understand what it feels like to only have one friend (or even fewer). It can be difficult to feel supported with only one close friend, especially when they are busy. However, she cannot know that you need her support without you confiding in her. Try finding a moment when she can listen (such as at lunch) and you can both vent to each other. Be sure to listen to her struggles as well.
As for your phone, being grounded for so long for something that is seemingly a minor offense can feel harsh. Try having a real conversation with your parents and discussing why you have been grounded for so long. Suggest something you could do to earn your phone back. During your talk with them, you could also ask why they do not trust you with driving. Nobody is good at driving at the start. That’s why someone teaches you. If they cannot trust you to drive, then ask them to go on a drive with you on roads that usually have light traffic and they can instruct you as you drive. Let them know that you feel as if they are not proud of you. Give them a chance to listen to your points.
This year, I think you should go easy on yourself and take a break from Color Guard (as you have been doing) and find out who you are and what you need. Then, join the Color Guard again next year and reunite with your team if you then feel that it is the right choice. Overworking yourself can lead to worse issues, such as "fatigue, hypertension, difficulty concentrating, irritability, changes in appetite, insomnia, headaches" according to Psychology Today. Getting a B here and there is not the end of the world. In fact, it could be good for you. It means you are being challenged academically, but you are still trying your best.
Since you have conflicted feelings, you may not exclusively like women, but it’s perfectly fine if you do. High school is a great time to figure out who you are and what you need to be happy. If dating women makes you happy, then go for it. However, make sure they are close to your age. Don’t go out and date someone 20 years older than you. Also, since you are in high school, don’t date if the grades don’t touch. So, if you’re a sophomore, you could date a freshman, a sophomore, or a junior, but you should avoid the seniors (or the seniors should avoid you). You seem as if you are new to being someone who likes women. There is tons of support for LGBTQ+ students here at GPHS-- one example being the Pride Club. They meet Wednesdays at lunch in Mrs. Tyrrell’s room (room 235).
Don’t be afraid to ask for help! I know it can be scary, but many of the teachers here care about their students. Also, your counselor may seem busy at times, but they are also here to help us. If you need help with your grades, the National Honor Society has tutoring in the Pro-Tec building after school on Mondays and Wednesdays. Struggles at home make it difficult to focus on schoolwork, which is why I recommend going to tutoring. Even if you don’t need someone to help you, it’s a good time to be able to be focused and get some homework done. There are teachers here who care for you, as well. It can be difficult, but ask them for help when needed.
Within the last few years, we launched the advice column Ask Blair! Everything is 100% anonymous, from who sends in submissions, to my own identity. Though I go by Blair for the purpose of the column, I wouldn’t be surprised if many of you know me outside of The Scroll. I’m a student at GPHS, just like all of you. My goal for the column is to reach out to everyone and do what I can to help you during your times of trouble. Please keep in mind that your submissions will all be completely anonymous and your name will not be written in any of the issues here, so don’t be afraid to send in questions for next month’s issue! I look forward to writing for you guys in the months to come. Scroll down to enter your own questions for me: Blair!
*A Note from Blair: Since I reach such a wide audience and cater to people of so many different lifestyles and beliefs, it is my goal to remain as unbiased as possible when giving advice. It is for that reason that I ask you to refrain from asking for my personal opinions on politics and the like, as I don't want that to get in the way of being able to help as many people as possible. Thank you for helping me keep Ask Blair! a safe space for everyone!
*Editor's Note: The Scroll's Ask Blair! column is to solely provide advice, care, and support to students in need. We want to hear from you, and we understand that some of the topics that will be discussed will be emotional and sometimes distressing, but this advice column is not meant to be used as an alternative to any sort of professional therapy or counseling.
Thank you 💜
