The field was quiet as I walked up to the stand. Whispers passed between the teachers as they watched me, and Rowan smiled at me. I took his place at the podium and cleared my throat.
“Every day is the same. I go to school, go home, and do homework. Nothing ever changes.” I’d practiced for hours in my room, in the car on the way to school, even in the shower. “The best part of my day is when I have some time to sing. No one notices, though. My parents work all day, and I don’t have any friends. I’ve had some teachers mark me absent because I sit in the back and try not to draw attention. I don’t volunteer, I don’t raise my hand, and I pray in every class that we won’t have group assignments.”
I took a drink of water, and looked out over the class of graduates. “The only time I’m noticed is when I do something wrong. There’s no hope. I’ve tried growing my hair out so I have something to hide behind, but my parents made me cut it. It’s the only time they noticed me. I got my ears pierced in secret last year, and I had to hide that from them too.”
“Do you know how hard it is to survive? All you soft kids don’t understand the fight to stay here. You focus on the grades, the sports, you don’t pay attention to the ones who are suffering. So I hid for six years.”
I looked behind me at the teachers. Most of them looked annoyed, but some of them were smiling at me, so I forged on. “There’s this one guy at school. I almost asked him out one day, but I thought there was no way on Earth he knew who I was. We went to elementary and middle school together. The only time he might’ve noticed me was in sixth grade when I stood up on my desk and yelled at the teacher.”
“Why do we need to learn this?” My voice got louder, so I tried to control as I looked up at the parents in the stands. “Why can’t we learn something useful? Yes, I know the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell, but when will that come in handy? The only possibility is if I decide to become a biologist, and I’m sure not doing that!”
There were a few scattered laughs that quickly faded. “Everyone laughed at me and the teacher pulled me down to the office. They called both of my parents several times, but no response. Big surprise there. So, I waited. And waited. The end of school came at three o’clock, and I kept waiting. They called again. No response. Four o’clock passed, and they called again. Finally, at almost five o’clock, my mom drove up. I could tell from her eyes and her speech that she was drunk, again. I silently pleaded that they would see the signs as well and not tell her what had happened. Not now.”
“They told her, and she yelled at me right in the office, swearing and screaming at me. That night was one of the worst I’d had in a while. That night was when I decided to become invisible. No more talking, no more friends, no more emotion. I pulled so far into my shell that it seemed like nothing could bring me back out.”
Rowan put a hand on mine as my voice started to shake. “Freshman year I was confused about myself and trying to figure out exactly who I was. I had no one to turn to. My parents wouldn’t understand, and none of the teachers cared enough anyway. Senior year was the same, but it’s not like anyone noticed or cared. Then, one day it changed. I was sitting in a tree, too scared to go home. I was singing, because that’s the only way I know how to escape. School was done, and I thought everyone was gone. Someone called my name, and I panicked, drawing farther back into my shell.”
“It was the guy who I’d liked in the past. He talked to me about singing, and told me that he had noticed me. It was eye opening. Someone knew who I was? We talked for hours, about music, about how he wanted to pierce his ears too, about how difficult school was.”
I located Rowan’s parents and brother in the audience and focused on them. “We fell asleep under that tree and woke up in the middle of the night. His older brother was sitting next to us on his phone and said we had probably needed to sleep with everything we had to do for school. Nothing else. They gave me a ride home, and his family let me stay there after they heard my situation. They didn’t care that we’d been out so late. I felt seen, truly seen, for the first time in my life. I stayed the night, and they helped me get out of my parents’ house.”
“That was in October.” I paused for a moment, then continued. “I’ve lived with them ever since. On Christmas, I received my first gifts ever. It was amazing. Now, I’m graduating, something I never thought I’d do. I never thought I’d live past fifteen.”
I shook my head. “I’m not saying all this for pity, at least not for me. I’ve already gone through it, but my life has turned around. I’ve got a boyfriend that cares, I’ve got a safe place to sleep every night. I’ve got a scholarship to one of the top music colleges in the country. I told this story for all the other students who are going through the same things I went through. Teachers, care more. Parents, care more. You never know what someone is going through unless you care to ask. If Rowan hadn’t called my name that day, I probably wouldn’t be alive right now. I’m Jackson Foster, and this is my last wish: Care more.”
Rowan interlaced his fingers with mine and we walked back to our seats together. The field was silent. As I sat down, a teacher started clapping. Then another, and another, until everyone—graduates included—was clapping.
“Good job,” Rowan whispered.
“Thanks.” The rest of the ceremony proceeded normally, and then it was time to walk up and get my diploma. Everyone was quiet again, and I received the diploma. One quick picture, then I walked down.
“Wait.” The voice was over the microphone, and I turned around. Principal Morris was standing there, and he waved me over.
“I’m sorry to delay the ceremony further, but this needs to be said. I know you asked for no pity, and I know you gave that speech for everyone else. So, I’ve got a speech of my own to give.” I stood next to him as he began speaking.
“September 11, 2017: The school year has been going great so far! I have a few friends, and the work seems to be pretty easy!”
People were whispering, and Principal Morris held up a hand to silence them. “December 25, 2017: I know it’s been a while since I wrote, but life has been horrible. Back in November I got annoyed with the teacher and yelled. Got on my desk and everything. They sent me to the office, and mom picked me up really late. She screamed at me, then took me home and locked me in my room for a few days. I was suspended anyway, so no one noticed. When she finally let me out, I still wasn’t allowed to eat. I tried sneaking a piece of bread, but she smacked me so hard I started bleeding.”
“Now I’m skipping to the next year. November 16, 2018: School still sucks. I almost joined choir this year, but I knew that wouldn’t end well. I can never get enough sleep with mom and dad screaming all night. I think I’ve gotten maybe half an hour of sleep in the past two weeks. Dad stormed out last night, yelling about divorce. He came back an hour later and they were both fine. I’ve started going to the park after school so I can have some peace before I go home.”
Rowan came up and took my hand while Principal Morris continued. “February 7, 2023: Dad finally got a job, somehow, and he’s gone most nights. While he’s gone, mom will sometimes have different ‘friends’ over. They’re all men, and they’re all drunk. I’ve been offered a drink from various bottles, but do my best to deny them. When they force me to drink though, those are the worst nights. I forget most of it, but I always wake up in pain.”
“The most recent entry is from April 30, 2024: Life is livable. I’ve been living with Rowan’s family since October. From what I can glean from his parents, my mom went to prison and my dad is on probation. I’ll probably hide this somewhere for someone to find it when they need to. Sincerely, Jackson Foster.”
I was nervous at how people would react, but they were silent.
“Jackson, I’m so sorry that no one noticed what you’ve been going through. You said no pity, so I won’t linger on that. You’ve done something no one else did. Could anyone who has been a victim of any form of abuse please stand?”
I looked out over the gathered students and family. A shocking number of people stood. Some of them I recognized as the “popular” kids, the ones who seemed to have a perfect life.
“And how many of you tried to tell someone about it.” Most of the people standing sat down. “Thank you.” Everyone sat.
“I’m just trying to say, you aren’t the only one. But you are the only one who decided to try and do something about it. And so, Rowan decided to work with us and make some changes.”
Rowan stepped up to the podium. “Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve gotten to know Jackson very well over this past year. He’s smart, funny, and a great singer. But no one knew that. For years we told everyone that they’re fine. But they’re not. And it’s okay to say that. Right now, I’m terrified. I hate public speaking, and I am not okay. Do you know what is okay? Saying it. You don’t have to hide. So, I’m introducing the Foster Project.”
Principal Morris took over. “The Foster Project is a safe place for anyone to come and get help, or even just talk. For once, I hope people will trust their teachers. Jackson? Thank you for teaching me how to care.”
The audience applauded, and me?
I just smiled, at peace.