How to tell your children about it?

First of all, I would like to express my admiration for single parents.
I know how hard it is to bring up children, with two parents who love each other, in our Switzerland which loves them so little.
It is an exercise that is exhausting, often discouraging, and in which we feel so little supported by our fellow citizens.
I can't even imagine the difficulty of doing it alone.
So kudos and thank you!
You have courage, perseverance and tenacity.
Whatever people tell you, you are a great parent. You have achieved the impossible.

Why tell children about it?

I have been careless and negligent.
Obviously, given the project in which I am embarking, I spoke to them recently.
I realised that they already knew, but badly, like a family secret.
It's like grandfather was a Nazi or a child rapist.
Nobody talks about him, nobody ever says his name, but it's there, and it grows in their soul, and it rots in their soul.

My children are 13, 16 and 17 years old.
So yes, of course, they have heard of it.
At school, in class or on break, on TV, on youtube or on facebook.

I remembered that I heard of it too. It was in the eighties. Do you remember ? "Once upon a time: Man, last episode" and particularly "Once upon a time: Space, episode 17".
How much did I love Once upon a time: Space !
In those days, Mr. Barillé dared to speak frankly to the children about the challenges that their parents had to take up, to tell them the truth, quite simply.
He had faith in the intelligence of humanity, its will to fight for its children, and its generosity, always ready to make the necessary sacrifices to avoid or recover from barbarism.
M. Barillé, you had faith in Humanity.

In 2008, shortly before the death of Mr. Barillé, "Once upon a time our Earth" was released.
I'm sorry to tell you. Mr. Barillé, your faith has blinded you. This is crap!
Each episode is structured as follows:

1. Anxiety-inducing introduction.
   Rather correct in general, with debunking. It's good.

2. Concrete illustrative example somewhere in the world, to feel what's at stake.
   It's bad. One cannot say in a light tone "This water claims more victims than all the wars in the world".
   This obfuscates the suffering and makes the massacre abstract.
   You have to say "This water kills more children than all the wars in the world. They die by the thousands, slowly and painfully, in their mother's arms."
   Either we speak frankly or we shut the fuck up.
   Putting on varnish is criminal. It is like saying "Collateral loss" and "Surgical strike" for "Civilian (parent, child, ...) killed in a war crime" and "Deliberate bombardment in a civilian area, also a war crime" It is worse than a lie.

3. Conclusion is always:
   "it is necessary": that the governments ..., the industry ..., the peasants ...
   And do not forget to recycle your PET, to unplug your TV on standby and to tell Papa to work close to work.
   You did not have time to realise it, but there, Mr. Barillé, you sowed the seed of despair and the feeling of helplessness.
   Our children have come to see that our governments, our industries, our farmers are not doing the "right things" and that recycling PET is useless.
   They understood that Dad and / or Mum cannot really choose where to work and that we are not going to be moving all the time or living apart.
   And the standby power? My kids need WiFi, they feel a little guilty about it, but they need WiFi.

Then finally, you completely betrayed yourself, Mr. Barillé.
Solar panels in space? We send billionaires there, yes! But solar panels! We will not have the time or the means.
Mirrors in space, geo-engineering? You already knew in 1980 that this would cause terminal wars. Nations facing side effects would fight to the end not to be annihilated.
These are just pipe dreams, you told our children that Santa Claus would come to save them.

I understand, M. Barillé, that on the verge of your death, you needed to put your soul at rest.
You couldn't die knowing that we were sending our children, whom you loved to educate, to hell.
It's selfish and it's cowardly.
You are not the only one, all of our rulers do this.
When our children believe in your dreams, like in Santa Claus, they wait carefree that he comes down to save them.
When our children no longer believe in Santa Claus, they feel helpless and guilty. Our children have been desperate and made to feel guilty by people like you.
We send our children to hell with our hands over their eyes and their hands tied behind their backs.
"Everything is going very well, everything is going very well, everything is going very well". Everything will be fine.
I will not forgive you, M. Barillé. I loved you in my youth, but by wanting to save the peace of your soul, you lost it.

This is why we have to talk to our children, because for 30 years, we have spoken to them like Mr. Barillé in 2008, on the verge of his death.

How to talk to them 0-7y

If you are an early childhood educator, this is also for you. You often have more time than us parents to talk to our children.

I don't think we should talk to them directly about climate change.
Until they have heard of it, as long as fear or anguish does not creep into their hearts, they must first be trained in courage and given a good moral compass.
They will need it, their future will be tough no matter what, and they will be faced with heartbreaking choices, between ease paid for in horror and kindness paid for with difficulty, even self-sacrifice.

If they tell you about it, you can tell them yes, it's serious. It will take courage.
You have courage my child. Dad and / or Mum have plenty of courage.
It's a family thing to have courage.
We will use all our courage to protect you from this evil and we will fight it until it is defeated.

You have to tell them heroic stories, where humans, convene together en masse with the desire and the courage to do good and topple mountains.

We have to tell them lamentable stories where humans, locked in their fears and laziness, allow Nazism and Stalinism to exist.

You have to tell them that you don't always win, but that you never give up and that you persevere. As long as we are not dead, we get up.

We have to explain to them that heroes exist, that it is not those who have the medal at the end, but those who gave everything to pave the way and give courage to their fellow citizens, parents, children, etc. .

You have to explain to them that they can be heroes, that they want to be heroes.

Explain to them that the most important question is not whether there is life after death, but whether you lived before dying.

You have to tell them about Winkelried, you have to tell them about Nicolas de Flüe. We must vilify William Tell pointing his weapon at his son.

If you are a children's story writer or make cartoons,

some topics you should consider:

• India's independence / Gandhi

• Suffragettes / Evaline Hilda Burkitt, Emily Davison, Emmeline Pankhurst, ...

• The Rise of Nazism / Hitler

• German internal resistance to Nazism

• The J stamp case on passports / Heinrich Rothmund

• The gold of apartheid / UBS / CS / SBS (find me the names of their directors at the time, let them get the shame they deserve)

• The struggle for civil rights / Martin Luther King

• The end of apartheid / Nelson Mandela

• The Red Cross / Henri Dunant

• The Swiss brigadists who tried to make a bulwark against fascism in the Spanish Civil War. 800 went 600 came back. We have not yet paid enough tribute to their courage

• Sempach / Arnold von Winkelried

• The convent of Stans / Nicolas de Flüe

• William Tell, shut up or vilify him. He doesn't deserve us.

• ...

In the spirit, names are not the most important. They are there to prove that heroes and villains exist.
I don't know if at this age it's important not to be too Manichean: Is it useful to say that even Hitler loved his dog?
They are also there to prove that the hero or the villain, it could be you, it could be me, it could be our child. And no one wants to be the villain.
The most important, in my humble opinion, are the anonymous. All these individuals who suddenly, carried away by a surge of justice and love, stand up together and become heroes, real heroes, since it is they who make the impossible possible.
It is we, together, who work miracles

How to talk to them 7y-12y

If you are a teacher, it is also for you. You have more time than us parents, to talk to our children.

They go to school, discover the world, start reading, maybe soon the Internet or TV or mobile. They know the climate is a concern.

Either way, make sure they have a good understanding of the mechanics that cause climate change.
We fight better against a problem that we understand than against a fantasy dragon.

It will also be necessary to do as for the 0-7 years, but with words and a literature adapted to their age.

For the rest, it's complicated, a lot of people (TV, advertising, internet, adults) have already spoken to your children and they often say very stupid things.
I have known three scenarios, there are certainly more:

1. the child feels guilty, helpless, desperate and afraid

2. the child has a vague anxiety, but wants to believe firmly that the adults will solve the problem. Santa Claus.

3. the child feels desperate, helpless but doesn't care. We just have to burn everything, we might as well have fun now. I believe that no dictatorship, even the most evil one, has ever succeeded in instilling such profound nihilism in children so young.

Let's go, it will be hard, you will need courage.

1. Your child feels guilty, helpless, desperate and afraid

Your child is the victim of the moralising ecological discourse. He understood the stakes well.

We told him: be vegan, no plastic straws, no standby power, go on a bike, turn off the tap when you brush your teeth, no packaging, recycle, compost, make it last and don't throw away, the car is bad, etc., etc.

But your child's entire environment, everything conspires against his good intentions. It is humanly impossible to be an ecological saint in our society.
Advertising, social integration, codes of consumption, fashion, school, yourself, you the parent.

Your child can't do it. He feels guilty. With every step he takes in life, he kills a baby seal.
He is angry with you because you prevent him from being a saint.
He realises that if he, who is so aware, so committed, does not get there, it will never get to the scale necessary for it to be useful.
So he feels helpless, he feels guilty, he despairs and he is afraid, he intuitively knows what is coming, he knows that it is inevitable.

It's hard, isn't it? You didn't know your child was in so much pain.

Take responsibility and tell him the truth.

You will say with your words this to your child, he deserves it:
"It is not your fault, it is I who accepted the world that I received.
I knew, but it was easier to believe that the problem would be solved by someone else: our rulers, the market, technology, aliens, the coming of planetary consciousness.
Forgive me, and above all do not feel guilty.
It is I who am guilty towards you. I beg you, forgive me.
Now I understood, if it is not me, it will not be nobody.
I understood that I must have courage.
I understood that it's not up to the children, it's not up to you, to save your future. It's up to me.
There, now, I pledge to fight for your future and that of your children.
I will have all the courage necessary for you, because I love you, and it is the parents who sacrifice themselves for their children, not the other way around.
For now live, be happy, gain strength. Don't feel guilty, you have nothing to do with it.
When you've grown up, you will be able to enter into this fight to save the future, with me and with courage. "

2. Your child has a vague fear, but wants to believe hard that the adults will solve the problem. Santa Claus.

Your child is the victim of the techno-economic ecological discourse. He understood the stakes well.

He was told: the market solves everything, technology solves everything, human ingenuity solves everything, the solution arrives, don't worry, you won't have to make any sacrifice, you won't need courage .

At the beginning, your child believed in it, he may still believe in it.
He is passionate about solar panels, nuclear fusion, electric cars.
He has a stainless steel straw, dynamo flashlight and would love an electric bike.
He's campaigning for you to buy a Tesla.
He believes recycling will make an iPhone from an iPhone again, without pollution, without energy, without mines that kill orangutans and children.

Tesla are expensive and inconvenient when you have children. You won't buy any.
Recycling doesn't cut it yet, but we will get there, right?
He still has this little anxiety, though.
It's supposed to have happened tomorrow morning since he was born.

It's hard to dispel a child's illusions.
I remember all the precautions I took so that they didn't find out that Santa Claus was just an invention.
And one day, bang, much sooner than I thought: "You know Dad, I know it's not Santa Claus who brings the presents"
Well, that's it.

You will say this with your words to your child, he deserves it:

"It's been 30 years that governments, the economy, the technologists promise me that the solution is there, just at hand.
I have been hypnotised by nuclear fusion, solar panels in space, arcology, hydrogen fuel cell cars and even, in my despair I confess, 0 point energy.
Everything had to happen tomorrow morning, everything had to happen long before you were born.
Everything was good enough if I could believe that someone, not me, would find the solution, without me having to make sacrifices, without me having to need courage.
Nothing has happened.
Today, the hour is serious.
If we, all of us, the whole world, do not stop loading the atmosphere with greenhouse gases very, very quickly, your future will be so ugly that I can't look at it.
When I was young, there was a moment of hope . There were great battles. Young activists thought another world was possible.
They were people like me. They went to ask for another world, because this world, this world that you have been given, was not acceptable.
They lost. My parents' generation crushed them, violently at first, then drowned them in advertising, consumption and the struggle for survival in a working world that was becoming harsher, more inhumane but wearing a more deceptively alluring face.
In fact no, I was not like them. I didn't have the courage.
I have not fought any battle.
Yet I supported them.
Now I know: without courage nothing good happens.
Today you are here. I love you.
I do not want to leave you as a legacy this world which will not be acceptable.
I didn't have the courage for myself, back then.
Forgive me for not having done anything when it would have been easier.
Now it is late. It will be harder, for you, as for me. Forgive me for delaying.
But now you are here. I love you. I have the courage for you.
There, now, I pledge to fight for your future and that of your children.
I will have all the courage necessary for you, because I love you, and it is the parents who sacrifice themselves for their children, not the other way around.
For now live, be happy, gain strength.
Don't feel guilty, you have nothing to do with it.
When you are older, you will be able to enter into this fight to save the future, with me and with courage. "

3. Your child feels desperate, helpless but doesn't care

Ouch! Your child has already been seduced by the void. I'm sorry.
He no longer has a moral compass, in the future he could do anything, things that will horrify you.
But hang on, you can still save his soul, but you will have to give yourself.

You will say this with your words to your child, he deserves it:
"I know that you did not ask to receive the world in the state in which I gave it to you.
I beg you to forgive me.
I knew, and I didn't do anything. I was cowardly and lazy.
Forgive me.
It's not for you to save yourself, it's for me to do so, I am your parent and I love you.
I understood your value late, I understood late that I only exist for you to exist.
I hope that one day you will also experience this feeling.
I have been a coward for too long.
Today, time is running out, but there is still a possibility that one day, you too will want to offer your children a future.
I love you.
For you, I have the courage, I want to show you what courage is.
There, now, I pledge to fight for your future and that of your children.
I will have all the courage necessary for you, because I love you, and that it's parents who sacrifice themselves for their children, not the other way around.
When you're older, if my example inspires you, you can enter this fight to save the future, with me and with courage. "

How to talk to them 12-18 years and over

If you are a teacher, it is also for you. You have more time than us parents, to talk to our children.

They are grown up now. You can talk to them like I talk to you.
They already have the right to fight for themselves. Think of Greta Thunberg.

You can simply tell them:

"Today time is running out, but there is still a possibility to save your future.
I love you.
For you, I have courage, I want to show you what courage is.
There, now , I pledge to fight for your future and that of your children.
I will have all the courage necessary for you, because I love you, and it is the parents who sacrifice themselves for their children, not the reverse.
You are grown up now. If my example inspires you, you have the right to fight with me for your life. "

When I told my kids what I was going to do, August 28, 2021

I only have two things to say about it:

1. My children are amazing. Please respect them. They have the courage to live this pain, to understand and support me

2. My 13 year old daughter M. said to me: "I think I am proud of you. The others, they talk, they talk, and do nothing. You, at least, you do what you can ... Even if (crying ...) Even if it means (crying ...) that you can die (crying ...)

I cry, my children are amazing. They deserve that I give all I have for them, for their future, so that their life is not condemned to:
Tomorrow will be worse than today, always worse, for ever and ever.

And psychologists will say

In magazines, on TV, on the radio, on the internet, I anticipate an army of specialists who will explain to us how much my approach will traumatise our children.
It's likely, it's possible, in fact, I think it's crap what they're saying.
When I taught my kids to cross the road, I told them to take a good look, because a car can kill you, not because it could stroke your cheek.

When we lived in Abidjan and the Akouedo barracks mutinied and they fired all night, I did not tell my children that it was fireworks.
We told them, "This is a mutiny. It can be very dangerous. Sleep peacefully.
Mum and dad have packed the bags and we have a plan to escape if things go wrong.
We will listen to the radio all night long.
Do not go out while it is firing, the stray bullets fall and can kill you.
Just sleep dressed, just in case. If you are scared or can't sleep, join us in our room. "

They slept well enough, confident. Not us, but that's normal.