The origins of the word “gay” are ambiguous. From the moment it entered the common lexicon in the 14th Century it held a double meaning: "full of joy, merry; light-hearted, carefree;" but also "wanton, lewd, lascivious." According to the Dictionary of Etymology, its ultimate origin is disputed but it is believed to be a loan word, derived from one of the Romantic languages (either French or Italian), the original meaning corresponding to “pleasant” or “charming”.

It was not until the Victorian era that we saw its first forays into the negative. A “Gay House” was a brothel, “gay” now being a catch-all term for any whiff of promiscuity no matter the gender combination involved. The Victorians despised the act of sexual intercourse or indeed any outward display of emotion. Anyone who dared to actually profess any pride in their sexuality or (gasp) enjoyment of the act itself was to be derided and shunned for being “gay”.

By the 1920s, we see the first usage of the term to describe homosexual men. Young, newly homeless boys were often termed “gey cats” as they were commonly preyed upon by those (usually more senior) vagabonds who took advantage of them, sexually.

Freudian psychotherapy would see much discussion of sexuality and it’s in the 1940s that we see one of the first, official uses of the word as a technical term for homosexual: “After discharge A.Z. lived for some time at home. He was not happy at the farm and went to a Western city where he associated with a homosexual crowd, being "gay," and wearing female clothes and makeup. He always wished others would make advances to him.” [Rorschach Research Exchange and Journal of Projective Techniques, 1947, p.240]. I believe there are two things of note here:

1. The fact that homosexuality was seen as a ‘disease’ to be ‘cured’ through counseling and

2. The wearing of make-up and bright female clothing to actively show that the wearer was “gay”.

By the 1960s and 1970s, the Civil Rights movement was herding humanity towards a more egalitarian society. Women had been fighting a slow war of attrition since the turn of the century, African Americans had asserted that they had the right to at least drink the same water or sit in the same seats as their fellow humans and, finally, homosexuals were legally allowed to fall in love.

Like many an oppressed minority, homosexuals took the language of fear and ignorance that was hurled at them and co-opted it as their own: “gay” and “queer” were no longer for the exclusive use of the bigots that feared anyone unlike themselves. The community used them to express their identity and the inherent beauty of their individuality and humanity.

Indeed, one commonality in the evolution of the word is this sense of beauty or showiness; a proud or confident quality. Sadly, a lack of understanding seems to drive the desire to promote the darker meaning and describe negative things or events as “gay”. I’ve even seen an ignorant attempt to spell the word as “ghey” to try to absolve the user of any responsibility (good luck attempting the same explanation with racial or religious epithets – would you be comfortable with any other slur if it was simply misspelled?).

This ignorance is easy to dispel in many cases: ask the speaker to replace “gay” with “Black” or “Jew” and they are usually (understandably and thankfully) horrified.

If that doesn’t work, let’s lead the fight to reclaim the positive sense of the etymology: my behaviour, dress and attitude is often “gay”, and I wouldn’t be any other way.

• Mr O. Edwards