Stradlater's Dairy Entry
Based on the novel, The Catcher in the Rye
Monday, December 20th/ 1950 (‘Feeling lousy and pretty damn lonely’)
It’s been a while since I’ve written in this journal. With everything going on and all, I really haven’t had much time; but a lot’s happened. Where do I even goddam start.
The other night I had a fight with Holden. And I mean a full on, proper fight. Not one with knives and all that crap, but a punchup at least. Of course I won, the scrawny bastard didn’t stand a chance; and I’ll admit, it did feel good to hand it to him. I mean it’s not like I could just let him at me; I had to defend myself. But I feel like hell about it all the same. And, what’s worse, I haven’t seen him since. So I’m all by myself in the dorm, for now anyways.
Truth is, and I’ll never admit this to anyone, but I do miss Holden; I know it sounds corny, but it’s like a piece of me is missing. Not in a flitty way or anything, but as a friend. He was one of the few people who I thought I could kinda, ya know, count on. I mean, I know he had his problems; he can be a real ass sometimes; but he’s still alright. I thought he saw me the same way. But you just can’t tell another guy that. And now that he’s gone, and I mean really gone, I’m even more alone.
At least there’s Jane. Honest to God, I had no idea about Holden’s history with her, whatever that even was. If I had known they used to be a thing then I would never have gone out with her. But I’m goddam glad I did. Jane’s amazing; and that’s saying a lot, considering all the girls I’ve seen. She’s an angel; I really ain’t kidding.
She doesn’t treat me the same as everyone else; girls and guys, that is. She’s really down to Earth; it’s like how Holden puts it; she’s not a ‘phoney’. Take, for example, when I took her to the game the other night. Most girls would have hung around and made comments here and there, asking questions, pretending to be interested and all. I’ll admit, she stuck it out for the first half, but after that, she wasn’t having anymore of it. But the thing is, as soon as I mentioned Holden to Jane, she wouldn’t stop asking about him. We’d sit in the car for a while, shooting the bull, and then she’d casually ask something about how he’s going. To think, I finally found a girl who I thought liked me, and who I like, and she ends up liking my goddam best friend.
I know I shouldn’t have messed with Holden about fooling around with her; I didn’t do anything with her; truthfully, I just wanted to make Holden jealous. I know it's a bastard thing to do. But I don’t want to be torn between Holden and Jane; I really do love her. He’s been my roommate for a while now, so I thought he’d understand me better. But then he went and got all hot-headed, I couldn’t help but sock him. You get defensive goddam quick when you’ve got no one to back you up.
I feel so lousy now I could die.
Maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Maybe not dying, but getting lost, leaving this place. Maybe I could move across the states, where no one knows me, and I can start again.
See the truth is, I’ve never really gotten along with other guys too well, or even girls really. I feel like everyone’s always expecting so much of me; even Holden; just because I have some reputation or whatever, and I’m well known. Sure, I know I can get things done most of the time, or even play it off cool if I can’t. But sometimes I just wish I couldn’t; sometimes I wish I just messed up so bad, that everyone would stop expecting so much from me. It’s like when you’re walking near a cliff or something, and you get the urge to jump off for no good reason.
No one knows me completely; the real me, that is. I could hang with the whole school, be in a room full of people, and still be the loneliest damn man on the planet. That’s why I’m always hanging with people, or out on dates and stuff. If I’m not busy doing crap, I feel so awkward and out of place, like I’m the odd one out. Plus, I feel like I’ve got a purpose, that I’m doing something worthwhile; it takes my mind off it. It probably sounds stupid as hell, I know.
But I know I’m not the only one who feels like this. Holden does too. That’s why he’s always going on about how everyone’s ‘phoney’ and all that crap. It's just that I’ve realised, or at least I thought I had, that that’s just how the world works. Everyone’s lonely deep down, but no one wants to admit it. And that’s what makes it the stupidest damn thing in America; I know I’m lonely, and I know Holden’s lonely; but no one really acknowledges it, ya know?
But I guess it is just a part of life; all I can do is really keep on living. Sure, Holden’s gone, probably for good, but I guess some other bastard will move into the dorm eventually. Plus, I’ve still got Jane. I’m graduating at the end of the year too; that is, if I’m not kicked out of the damn place, or fail and that; so who knows what could happen.
I’m gonna hit the sack now; it’s getting late, and I’ve got to work out an excuse for not submitting that English composition. I’m sure I’ll be back soon enough to write about some other crap.
W. Stradlater
RATIONALE:
This creative piece takes the form of a journal entry, from the perspective of Ward Stradlater, Holden’s roommate during his time at Pencey Prep, illustrating his thoughts, perspective and interpretation two days after his fight with Holden.
Stradlater is portrayed as being ‘emotionally distant’ and thus a medium such as journaling would provide an alternate method of expression for his emotions and feelings, rather than addressing them openly with those around him.
Stemming from this idea, Stradlater is particularly expressing and reflecting on feelings of loneliness and isolation; how he feels a lack of connection with his peers, and elaborating on the idea that Stradlater may be misjudged by Holden [and Ackley].
The journal entry is set two days after Stradlater’s fight with Holden. Initially, Stradlater reflects on these events, hinting at his feelings of regret, originating from his deeper sense of loneliness and isolation; “Truth is… I do miss Holden…”. However, his conceited nature keeps him from coming to terms with these feelings completely. Despite this, Stradlater's apparent vanity, described in the novel by Holden, is largely reinterpreted in this entry; although he remains largely self-focused, he is shown to have more complex feelings than is initially inferred. “No one knows me completely…[I’m] the loneliest damn man on the planet…That’s why I’m always hanging with people, or out on dates and stuff”. This intends to convey both Holden’s skewed interpretation of his friend, as well as the unique depth to Stradlater’s personality which is ultimately masked by his actions.
Additionally, despite his initially perceived shallowness, Stradlater is shown to genuinely care for characters, such as Holden; “Then he really let one go at me…You asked for it, God damn it," he said. Boy, did he look worried”. This entry builds on this idea to show Stradlater’s longing for a deeper relationship with Holden, Jane, and other characters; “He was one of the few people who I thought I could kinda, ya know, count on”.
The themes of loneliness and isolation are prevalent concepts in Catcher In The Rye, primarily in the context of Holden's sense of detachment from the world. Likewise, Stradlater shares similar feelings, instead choosing to mask them rather than acknowledge and take action against them; “...you just can’t tell another guy that”.
The idea that Stradlater is a parallel to Holden, in that they share similar feelings of isolation and separation from the world, in itself adds to the theme of loneliness. It illustrates how Holden’s perspective of Stradlater, as described in the novel, is different to his genuine thoughts and feelings; both characters are largely unaware of the loneliness each other feels, suggesting the extent of their isolation from society and each other. For example, in the novel, Stradlater is described as “...a real hot-shot…” who is popular and outgoing, rather, in this entry, Stradlater admits his feelings of depression and loneliness, while arguing Holden leads a more desirable life.
Upon reflection, Stradlater is drawn to the conclusion that this is a regular part of life; “Everyone’s lonely deep down”. Like Holden, he gains a new perspective on his relation to society and his understanding of loneliness, suggesting a sense of maturity and coming of age.
The use of vernacular and slang adopted from the novel and language of the 1950’s in America also helps to continue the character of Stradlater into this piece. It continues the style adopted by Salinger, maintaining a degree of consistency, as well as makes the character more relatable to the reader. Furthermore, the use of such phrases is often tied to literary devices. For example, on page one, “...I feel like hell about it…” forms a simile, and can also be understood as a hyperbole, illustrating the drama and uncertainty of being an adolescent, as Stradlater associates his feelings with darkness and pain. The use of such literary devices can similarly be seen in Salinger’s work, to convey the exaggeration and dramatisation of the American world from Holden and Stradlater’s perspectives.
Other literary devices, such as idioms and metaphors, along with further use of similes and hyperbole, further show Stradlater’s drastic and narrow view of the world. For example, the repetition created by anaphora conveys Stradlater’s hasty and overconfident judgement and illogical thinking, as he struggles with taking action against his loneliness.
Finally, techniques such as contractions and informal spelling were used to engage the reader by creating a piece seemingly authentic and from the characters own perspective.
Overall, this creative piece explores a unique approach to the character of Stradlater, contrasted against his initial portrayal in Catcher In The Rye, as a parallel to Holden. The entry illustrates Stradlater’s feelings of loneliness and disconnection from society, and his reflections on these ideas, forming a much more authentic and relatable character.
REFERENCES:
Salinger, J. D. (1945-6). Catcher In The Rye. Penguin Books.
Sparknotes. (2023). The Catcher In The Rye; Stradlater.
https://www.sparknotes.com/lit/catcher/character/stradlater/. Accessed May 2023