Canadian Unitarian Council's

Resources for Inclusivity Forum on

Welcoming People of all Ages

Prepare for the Forum

The focus of the forum is informed conversation, not education.

In this way it is different than a workshop where you show up to be taught.

It is your responsibility to do the depth of education you need to engage in an

informed and compassionate conversation about this type of inclusion.

Educating ourselves ensures that those experiencing exclusion do not need

to educate those with privilege or endure expressions of ignorance.

Getting Started

Watch: Let's End Ageism By Ashton Appleton (TEDTalk)

Reflect: The speaker names many ways people can be ageist towards themselves or others. What cultural beliefs about age do you knowingly, or unknowingly adhere to and perpetuate?

Here's some ideas to get you started.

"She looks so good for her age" "He's too young to be a Board President"

"I was having a seniors moment" You give a birthday card that mocks getting older

"Old people go there" You colour your hair or use anti-aging products

"You don't look 50" "40 is the new 20"

"Millennials are so entitled" You assume that an older person doesn't use technology

"Gen Z ers' are spoiled You assume an older person can't hear/see/remember/think

"They're too young/old to really know who they are/what they want" You baby talk to an older person or younger person

Consider some people unattractive because of their age I'm (or they're) too old to make major life, worldview, or relationship changes

We deny youth access to vote and to membership You believe youth minimum wage should be less than adult minimum wage

We create curriculum FOR young people, not WITH young people "Old people are wise. Youth are energetic"

Old generations are stuck in their ways

2. Learn how the World Health Organization and Ontario Human Rights Commission views Ageism.

Takeaways:

Ageism refers to the stereotypes (how we think), prejudice (how we feel) and discrimination (how we act) towards others or oneself based on age.
Ageism affects everyone. Children as young as 4 years old become aware of their culture’s age stereotypes.
Ageism is everywhere: from our institutions and relationships to ourselves.
Ageism includes Personal Ageism, Self Directed Ageism, and Institutional Ageism
Ageism can change how we view ourselves, can erode solidarity between generations, can devalue or limit our ability to benefit from what younger and older populations can contribute, and can impact our health, longevity and well-being while also having far-reaching economic consequences.
Three strategies work in reducing or eliminating ageism: policy and law, educational activities, and intergenerational interventions.
The Supreme Court of Canada has recently made it clear that the age diversity that exists in society should be reflected in the design stages for policies, programs, services, facilities and so forth so that physical, attitudinal and systemic barriers are not created. Where barriers to inclusion exist, those responsible should take steps to remove them.

3. Reflect: How is ageism and barriers to inclusion for all ages showing up in our UU communities?

For instance:

There are seniors who have shared that they feel invisible.
There are young adults that are aging out of the Young Adult program yet do not want to age into the traditional UU stream, so they stop attending all together.
There are people who are being asked to do particular work for the congregation because of their age and stage in life. For instance youth, young adults, and parents being asked to run children's programs.
There are instances when the older generations have the money to keep the lights on in buildings and so preference in style of service and issues discussed favour them. There have been instances when wealthy older donors have withheld or threatened to withhold their donations if things did not go the way they wanted.
There are instances where older generations create programs FOR younger people not WITH younger people.
There are young adults who are receiving significant push back from congregations of older people when they are asking for the level of inclusion they have become accustomed to within the Youth and Young Adults streams.
There are instances where generations are segregated so they can be in their comfort zone more often.

Do any of these match your current or past experience? What would you add to the list?

4. Have you heard the terms "Youngism"?

Watch: Are Young People Being Discriminated Against For Being Young- BBC Ideas

Read: “Kids these days”: Why youth-directed ageism is an issue for everyone

Takeaway:

From the article: "A recent study focused on ageism against younger adults, sometimes termed “youngism,” found that youngism functions mainly as a cohort-bias rather than a life-stage bias. This means that despite the young life-stage being viewed more favorably than the later-life stage, younger adults are often assigned unfavorable stereotypes due to their generational differences from older adults. Research reveals that negative stereotypes associated with younger adults include the notion that they are coddled, radically progressive, disrespectful, and inexperienced. These unfavorable stereotypes against younger adults are more likely to be held by those who are age 60 and older. These biases could lead to issues with economic instability in younger generations, which will impact future generations as our young adults grow older. "

5. Explore the difference between Multigenerational and Intergenerational and the types of age exclusion /inclusion created as a result.

Article 1: Multi-Generational or Intergenerational Churches?

Article 2: Multi-generational or Intergenerational? They Don't Mean the Same Thing

Takeaways:

In a MULTIgenerational church, the generations can show up on the same day and in the same place, can all be in the attendance rolls and partner files, but not be interrelated or interconnected in life or experience.
In INTERgenerational church, the generations not only show up on the same day and in the same place, but their interaction is intentionally prioritized so that younger and older generations are "in the trenches together" taking time to be together consistently and talk about difficult church and cultural topics from their different generational perspectives.

On some cases within our UU movement the following may also apply:

In UNIgenerational church only one generation is represented. This could be by choice or circumstance but it results in no intergenerational interactions of any kind and the co-creation of a culture that is specific to that generation.

Reflect: Where do you observe each of these playing out within your local UU communities? In the regional and/or national movement?

6. What can UU's learn from multigenerational workplaces?

Article: The Multigenerational Workforce: From Challenges to Opportunities, By ROHEI, 9 July 2019

Takeaways:

Being aware of generational differences can help us become more conscious of our own behaviours and more generous in our interpretations of the behaviours of other generations.
Challenges: It’s a clash of many sorts, from priorities to working styles. Younger generations, with decades-worth of UU life yet to carve, are idealistic, ambitious, and eager to prove themselves. Meanwhile those in their golden years are looking for a pleasant and enjoyable church experience and would generally resist stressful changes and projects. (adapted quote from article)
Opportunities in leading multi-generational teams:

Reinforce the organization’s shared goal and purpose

A strong unifying purpose
An inspiring shared vision

Develop inclusive leaders who embrace diversity

When inclusion and diversity are embraced by leaders across different generational groups in the workplace, employees feel less disadvantaged because of their age.

3. Foster a mutually supportive environment

Ascribe good intentions: With generational differences, misunderstandings are unavoidable. However, if we assume everyone is motivated by good intentions, there will be a huge shift in our response.
Regarding feedback as a gift : When feedback is mutually understood to be a gift, meant to help one another grow, it prevents misinterpretation.

These three practices create an environment of safety and trust, one that welcomes people of any age, and affirms their value daily.

Below is the graphic shared in this article.

While there are certainly exceptions to the generalizations, being aware of generational trends can help us be more understanding of each other.

7. Watch interviews with UU’s living with a range of experience due to their ages and work within UUism read these Anonymous Responses.Out of respect for these UU's who have agreed to share their story within the UU community only, PLEASE DO NOT SHARE THESE LINKS.

Meet Alex and Teo

Watch this video with Alex Kapitan and Teo Drake that took place after the forum welcoming people of all genders. In this engaging conversation we learn:

"Bridge out" vs "Merge with"
the gap between two cultures
We need to question everything
Parallel Play
Tending to the wounds of Converts while integrating raised UU youth culture
Young Adults meeting resistance when trying to introduce areas of growth
age does not equal life experience
ways to engage through caucus
success stories

Meet Casey

CUC Youth & Young Adults Program & Events Coordinator

In this video we learn

Ageism is a real thing - for all ages
Why we might not take it seriously
What we lost (culturally) as settlers and the potential of church
How young folks feel "othered" in church spaces and the consequences of these experiences
Internalized ageism
Structural shifts that encourage full participation
We are all needed and the power of perspective
Success stories
Practical advice for growth

Meet Janice

In this video, she shares

What it's like to receive care as an elder
"Not oppressed, but invisible"
Fears of misguided focus solely on young people
Her desire for more co created experiences at church
What we can learn from listening to one another
Intergenerational worship
Her learnings about colonization

Meet Olivia

In this video, they share

"It's not a bridge, it's a cliff" (what happens when we age out of youth and young adult spaces)
Value of UU adolescence (who stays and who leaves)
Growing up UU vs becoming a member later on
Deconstructing our faith
Disconnect between what is taught in youth groups and how to act in adult/senior environments
Success stories and solutions
Let enthusiasm and joy move us onward!

Want to Dig Deeper?

Reflection Questions:

In what ways do you feel other generations of UU's do not understand, appreciate, or fully include you?
What generations of people do you feel you are most ageist toward? Least? Why?
When do you feel most engaged in your UU community? Least engaged? Most respected? Least respected? How is ageism a factor in these interactions?

At The Forum

Review the Responsibility Covenant. To learn more about this check out the guide.

Those of us with privilege, make this covenant to those living with this form of exclusion, so they can feel safer knowing we will be managing any discomfort that arises without projecting onto them.