CUC Inclusivity Forum - F4: All Genders

CUC Inclusivity Forum

Canadian Unitarian Council's

Resources for Inclusivity Forum on

Welcoming People of all Genders

Prepare for the Forum

The focus of the forum is informed conversation, not education.

In this way it is different than a workshop where you show up to be taught.

It is your responsibility to do the depth of education you need to engage in an

informed and compassionate conversation about this type of inclusion.

Educating ourselves ensures that those experiencing exclusion do not need

to educate those with privilege or endure expressions of ignorance.

Getting Started

SOME CONTEXT BEFORE YOU BEGIN:

In UU congregations, as in many other parts of our world, sexism and transphobia get in the way of our ability to live into our potential as communities.

Gender roles, assumptions, and expectations can affect everything from who is in leadership and how leaders are expected to act to the experience children have in religious education classes. These assumptions and expectations can show up in subtle and overt ways in congregations. For example, men’s expertise often goes unquestioned, the division of labor often reflects stereotypical gender roles, and women are paid far less than men on average.

Meanwhile, trans and nonbinary people have struggled to feel welcome and included in our congregations. It is all too common for people to question trans and nonbinary folks’ truths and refuse to respect their needs.

During this forum we ask you to think broadly as we contemplate how to dismantle barriers within ourselves and our communities that prevent us from creating a truly inclusive space.

What's the big deal about gender?

Listen to Angela Kade Goepferd's Tedx talk "The revolutionary truth about kids and gender identity" to gain some valuable context.

Reflect: Consider the metaphor used about giving kids more crayons to draw who they are, as opposed to only pink or blue.

a. What dismantling would need to happen within yourself in order for you to personally use as many of the colours in the box as you want to express your gender, as opposed to holding allegiance to the pink or blue you may have become familiar with?

2. Check out this interview with Kate Manne.

What we get wrong about misogyny

3. Familiarize yourself with some current Key Terms you may encounter in the interviews and resource materials. Keep in mind that language around gender is ever-evolving and different people use different words; this is just a starting place.

Gender Related Terms

A Guide to Gender Identity Terms

4. Watch Trans 101- The Basics, created by trans youth

5. Consider your own gender using the Gender Unicorn. Watch the video and map your own gender identity, gender expression, sex assigned at birth, sexual orientation, and emotional/romantic orientation.

Click for an Example

Each item exists as a spectrum from "not at all" on the far left, to "very much" on the far right, and everything in between. Each person's will be unique to them.

Trans Student Educational Resources, 2015. “The Gender Unicorn.” http://www.transstudent.org/gender.

6. Watch interviews with UU’s sharing about their experiences with gender within our communities.

Out of respect for these UU's who have agreed to share their story within the UU community only, PLEASE DO NOT SHARE THESE LINKS.

Meet Rory

In this video, we learn:

why they prefer to describe themselves as trans
what is anti-binary?
moving beyond gender means seeing someone more clearly
the role of respect
dangers of harmful ideologies
their experience in Young Adult spaces vs the broader community
how to have conversations across difference - and at what cost?
spiritual dimensions and richness of perspective
what more they want to see in our congregations

Meet Danielle and Adam

Originally recorded for the Diverse Relationships and Families Forum. In this video we learn:

about their non traditional dynamic
what it means for their self expression and discovery
life as a UU minister in this dynamic
gender role stereotypes
using UU principles as a guide
impacts of location
misconception, challenges, and stigmas
how "passing" is harmful
concerns and advice
how Sunday worship can create belonging

Meet Zoë

In this video, she shares:

nuance around her gender and core identity
the mistreatment she experienced during the process of becoming aware of her identity
coping techniques to deal with mistreatment
early transition vulnerabilities
good inclusion in community
how UU's can help create & shape more inclusive culture
what she appreciates

Meet Ilara and Lyn

Originally recorded for the Diverse Relationships and Families Forum, they speak about gender beginning at the 7:20 mark through to the 16:49 mark.

In this video, they share:

the structure of their relationship and family dynamic
practicing boundaries
misconceptions
how they experience church
the misuse of patience
the truth about misgendering and its impact
"family" as a governance model

Meet Taz

In this video they share:

how context informs how they define themselves
the difference between their gender identity and gender expression
what makes it easy and joyful to feel free to express themselves
their public transition in high school
privilege, misogyny, entitlement
navigating the medical system
their experience in UU settings
good ceremony at church

Want to Dig Deeper?

Describe a time when you were surprised by your own conditioned beliefs related to someone else's gender identity and/or expression. What feelings arose within you?
Describe a time when you were surprised by your own conditioned beliefs related to your own gender identity and/or expression. What feeling arose within you?
Describe the parts of your gender identity and expression that have been shaped by societal norms as opposed to your authentic expression. How do you know the difference?
Watch : Raised Without Gender (Documentary)

Consider: What could UU communities learn from the early gender inclusivity training taking place in Sweden? What cautions?

At The Forum

Review the Responsibility Covenant. To learn more about this check out the guide.

Those of us with privilege, make this covenant to those living with this form of exclusion, so they can feel safer knowing we will be managing any discomfort that arises without projecting onto them.

Review the Community Covenant. We all make this covenant to each other regarding how we will interact with each other during the Forum.
Learn about our guests Alex Kapitan and Teo Drake from the Transforming Heart Collective.

Forum Discussion Questions:

These were discussed together at the forum.

Reflection (no discussion): How have cultural messages about gender impacted you (either negatively or positively)?

How have you observed or experienced gender dynamics playing out in your UU community? Question 1: Padlet
Thinking about your UU community, what are (a) some small steps that we could take right now to remove barriers to full inclusion, and (b) what are some big dreams that are worth working toward? Question 2: Padlet

Recording of the Gender Forum