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“It sucks that we miss people like that. You think you've accepted that someone is out of your life, that you've grieved and it's over, and then bam. One little thing, and you feel like you've lost that person all over again.”
― Rachel Hawkins, Demonglass
Frequently Asked questions
Frequently Asked questions
You are not alone in wondering what happens during this time in one's life. There are many things to consider, and these are the top 5 questions we are regularly asked. If you don't see yours, send us the question, and we can add it to the list to help others asking the same question.
I think are burning ones or at least widely discussed:
What happens if I pass away with no family or next of kin?
Do I need a will if I don’t have many assets?
What’s the difference between a prepaid funeral and funeral insurance?
What support is available for someone who has no one to organise their funeral?
How can I talk about my funeral wishes without making my friends or carers uncomfortable?
Carer roles and how the carer can also receive support before, during and after the end-of-life stage.
This is an excellent question, as the carer's role is considerable and broad. According to the definition shared by Cathie, a carer is anyone helping another, whether they are family, friends, or a paid support person. They could have :
Has a disability (including physical and psychological)
Has a mental illness
Has a medical condition (including chronic conditions)
Is frail due to age
It could be that they are helping in any or more of the ways
with emotional support,
shopping or collecting things for the person,
paying bills, or other financial arrangements
conversations with others alongside the person or on behalf of the person.
helping with transport to appointments, shopping etc.
Many other scenarios.
What happens if I pass away with no family or next of kin?
What happens if I pass away with no family or next of kin?
This is a tricky situation where one either doesn't have living relatives or friends or is not part of a close circle of friends who can step in to organise their funeral. When families are estranged or have lost contact with others, it can seem like there isn't anyone, which might be the case. There are steps you can put in place, or at least consider.
Options for nominating a person to organise your funeral:
Choose a funeral home and pre-plan your arrangements with them. All funeral homes offer this and will take the time to plan and record your wishes, from the type of funeral to the music and flowers if you wish to have them. You may want to invite family and friends who you may not have had much contact with. Your funeral director can guide you through the options available to you. Be sure to record in with significant people - Doctor, Solicitor or care agency who the funeral home is, and where your will is held. When the time comes, your funeral director organises everything according to your plan. Nobody else has to make difficult decisions or worry about payment.
Nominate a Solicitor and again detail your wishes regarding the type, style, and instructions for your funerals and estate. Be sure to let others know who your solicitor is. Your GP, Support Agency, Care Facility, etc. will ask for this information in case they need to inform them of significant issues.
Why is it so important to have Advanced Care Plan documents?
Why is it so important to have Advanced Care Plan documents?
There are many reasons why taking the time to document your health wishes.
From talking with a variety of health care providers, including nursing staff, specialists, carers, and the many family members of my professional carer, there are several consistent take-home messages.
One stands out the most through - "I know what they want, and I am more confident in helping them (loved one, friend, client) get what they want!"
This statement highlights a few potential problems -
Communication between the parties must be honest, transparent and documented.
The person you nominate must be ok with fulfilling your expressed wishes and able to put their wishes aside to honour your needs and wishes.
Both parties should use the same terminology, definitions, and framework to ensure everyone is talking from the same detailed plan and not a little bit of this or that.
There should be clear boundaries between where one person's responsibility starts and ends and what roles they will have—financial, health, executor, etc.
When is "enough, enough?"
I encourage everyone to contact the ACP team and get started. Unless it is signed off, it isn't health care or legally binding. The sooner it is done, the better for everyone. The future is unknown.
How long does a cremation take?
How long does a cremation take?
The approximate time to complete the cremation process is 90 Minutes. Some factors, like bone density, can increase this time, but the average cremation is an hour and a half.
When are the ashes ready?
The Ashes take 48 hours or so to cool and be ready to collect. It is the discretion of the Funeral Director how you receive them. At Cornerstone Funerals, we pick them up from the crematorium and deliver them locally. They can be couriered if needed.
How long till I receive the Death Certificate?
It can take uo-to two or three weeks and only be applied for after the Cremation/Burial has occurred.
What cannot go in the cremator? What can not be cremated with the deceased?
Explosive items… batteries, alcohol, lighters etc.
Glass bottles, ornaments, trophies or similar. The glass solidifies again when cooling and prevents correct ash formation.
Items that contain trapped air ie Jars etc.
Items that cremator operators or independant doctors deems as a risk.
What can go in the Cremator, and the deceased?
Letters, photos, posters without a frame
Soft toys, items of significance that don’t have batteries/glass etc.
Flowers and plant material (legal).
Clothing without glass (beads) or metal (zips, buckles, buttons)
Ashes - This does require approval and can be subject to legislation as to what is and is not allowed.
What is the difference between a funeral service and a memorial service?
At a funeral service the coffin and body of the deceased is present and is a traditional method used for majority of farewells.
A Memorial service is held when the body of the deceased is not present or when the cremation has already taken place or will take place in the future. Memorial services provide a lot of flexibility, especially when the body may not be able to be present (e.g., waiting on coroners, body donation, etc.). There is no right or wrong way to farewell your loved one, and we aim to provide guidance and options for families to have a meaningful service.
What happens if I or my loved one passes away at home?
When a loved one passes at home, understandably, you may be in shock and not able to think quickly or easily. First, call Emergency Services on 000 and explain the situation to them. The operator will direct the appropriate Emergency Response team to help you and the deceased in this instance. For more information, see the page on Passing at Home.
FUNERAL DIRECTORS - What Do They Do?
FUNERAL DIRECTORS - What Do They Do?
The following information will help you find and select a funeral director you are comfortable with and who offers services at a reasonable price. Before selecting a funeral director, you should try to understand exactly what it is they do. Here are the main services offered by funeral directors:
The main role of the funeral director is to ensure the smooth process of after-life care, complete the legal documents, and, above all, support the deceased and family's wishes regarding how the person is honoured and remembered. Quite a few critical steps must be taken to achieve this objective.
Transferring the body from the place of death to the funeral director’s premises following strict health rules concerning handling, transport and storage. They ensure that every aspect of the process, from the initial transfer to the final arrangements, is handled with the utmost care and respect.
Meeting with you at home or in their office to discuss your preferences and options. Depending on the discussions and needs, the meeting may be less than 30 minutes or up to two or three hours.
Coordinating with your clergy (or a funeral celebrant if you wish), the cemetery or crematorium to decide when, where, and what type of service will be needed. Cemeteries and crematoriums usually do not deal directly with anyone other than a funeral director.
Prepare and place death, funeral, and obituary notices in newspapers of your choice, as well as organise flowers.
Preparing the body for burial or cremation.
Supplying a coffin or a casket.
Providing a place for a viewing of the body by friends and relatives if desired.
Transporting the body by hearse to the ceremony and then to the cemetery or crematorium. (If required)
Paying fees for such things as the cemetery, crematorium, and flowers is on your behalf.
Registering the death after the issue of the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (including a Cremation Certificate if required).
Advising and helping you with the paperwork involved in accessing any financial reimbursement associated with the funeral (such as a funeral fund or insurance).
HOW QUICKLY CAN THE FUNERAL BE HELD?
HOW QUICKLY CAN THE FUNERAL BE HELD?
Some steps and documents must be completed before the funeral can be arranged.
The type of funeral you/the deceased requests plays a crucial role in determining the amount of time required for organisation. This information is vital for you to be well-informed and prepared for the process.
Before a service can be prepared with certainty, allow 1-2 Days after the Form 9 - Cause of Death Certificate is released. It must be signed by a Doctor, and until this is completed we can not prepare or confirm a cremation of service time.
If the deceased is in the care of the Coroner, the process and release can be up to 2-3 weeks. When they release from the coroners then the service can proceed however a lot of the preparations can be started prior to release. The other option is to hold a memorial service which does not require the body of the deceased.
If the required the Form 9 document is released within 24 hours of passing, then 4 business days is the minimum time frame. Ideally, allow 5 business days. However, if the venues do not have a suitable opening for the ideal days, then the time frame may be extended.
If a short lead time is required, for instance, if family members have unmovable commitments and cannot attend a service within 2 weeks. OR, the deceased is with the Coroners, and the family wish to honour the deceased sooner rather than waiting for their body to be released. Then the standard options are:
a non-attending memorial where the service/memorial is held, and the deceased is represented by memorabilia, photos, or photo presentation.
FUNERAL TRANSPORT
FUNERAL TRANSPORT
Transporting a coffin to a funeral can be done in more ways than most people may realise, and can be one of the easiest things to personalise and make memorable if you choose.
Most people choose a hearse supplied by their funeral director, but many companies offer a wide choice of specialist vehicles for this purpose.
Things to consider when making arrangements for transport to and from the funeral:
● What type of hearse would you prefer?
Would you like a standard hearse or something more unusual, such as a motorcycle hearse or a horse-drawn hearse?
● Where will the cortege leave from?
● Will it take a special route?
● Where will you return to?
● Will you require wheelchair access?
Remember that a hearse is not always needed to conduct a service and in lots of instances is a costly expense that may not be required. Speak with your funeral director about options that don't require a hearse.
What should you consider when arranging a funeral?
What should you consider when arranging a funeral?
There are MANY CHOICES available to you. This funeral checklist discusses some of them in detail.
● Costs and the types of services to be provided
● Whether it will be a burial or cremation
● Whether you want a basic funeral or a more elaborate service
● The choice of service (private or public and single or double service)
● Whether the funeral will be a religious or non-religious ceremony
● The choice of clergy or celebrant
● Where the funeral will take place (church, cremation chapel, cemetery chapel, graveside, elsewhere)
● Convenient day, date and time for the service
● The choice of coffin or casket
● Writing and placing an obituary
● Preparing a eulogy
● Viewing the deceased
● Who will act as pallbearers
● The choice of music or poetry for the service
● Organising flowers or donations
● Service stationery
● Catering
CAN I MAKE DONATIONS INSTEAD OF FLOWERS
Many bereaved families wish to restrict the sending of floral tributes to immediate family members only and request that, as an alternative, donations are made to a charity or other organisation. Donations in legacy are increasingly popular and can help raise important funds for a charity or good cause of your choice or that of the deceased.
SUGGESTED ORGANISATIONS
● Australian Kidney Foundation www.kidney.org.au
● Beyondblue www.beyondblue.org.au
● Bowel Cancer Australia www.bowelcanceraustralia.org
● Breast Cancer Australia www.breastcanceraustralia.org
● Cancer Council Australia www.cancer.org.au
● Diabetes Australia www.diabetes.org.au
● Heart Foundation www.heartfoundation.com.au
● Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia www.prostate.org.au
● SIDS Research Foundation https://www.sids.org/
HOW DO WE PAY FOR A FUNERAL?
HOW DO WE PAY FOR A FUNERAL?
There are ways to prepare for the funeral costs ahead of time to relieve some pressure on families during this dif. If finances have not been preplanned, please talk with your Funeral Director for options.
Pre-plan your funeral payments with SurePlan, a convenient option similar to Super. A SurePlan Funeral Bond can only be used for funeral payments. Their management fees are generally included in the fund, and interest is often gained. For more details, please read the PDS available online on Sureplan's website.
Set up separate bank accounts for them to use as payment.
Cash Payment
Speak with your funeral director
Bank Transfer
Banks generally will release funds from the deceased accounts with the Form 9 Certificate, and invoice from the Funeral Home. Speak with your bank to confirm the requirements as generally even if an account is frozen due to a death most banks will still pay an invoice for a funeral home for funeral expenses.
Release from Superfunds or Life Policy or Accident Policy
Speak with your Insurance broker or Insuring company to determine the requirements to access funds if this is part of the policy held by the deceased.
Small Cash Loans
There are a number of companies now that can offer same day cash loans for funeral expenses. Be careful when dealing with companies that offer short term loans and shop around for a good offer. Even some other financial providers are offering either loans or split payment options like PayPals Pay in 4 or Afterpay.
Remember - Funeral payment costs can be included in the estate for reimbursment afterwards. So if you have used your finance to pay for anothers funeral you can submit this to the solicitors handling the estate to see if they can pay the amount back as part of the settlement.
CAN A PERSON BE MOVED TO A DIFFERENT PALLIATIVE CARE TEAM?
CAN A PERSON BE MOVED TO A DIFFERENT PALLIATIVE CARE TEAM?
Q: So if I am currently connected to a Queensland Health palliative care team, can I transfer my support to Karuna palliative care team instead?
click to read more.
Yes, you can. Yes. Yes, you can. So, because the palliative service that you would like as community -based, yes, you can go to the Karuna. And they, if required, can work still with our community palliative care.
They can also work with our palliative care at the hospital if extra support is required. But yes, definitely. In the catchment. Yeah, within the catchment, yes. There may just be a little bit of time waiting because, obviously, there are wait lists for both community palliative care for Queensland Health and Karuna.
To watch the related video snippet from the Dying to Know Day Panelist click here
DEATH DOULA, HOW DO YOU BECOME ONE?
Q: How do you train to become a death doula?
Yeah, we've got some of the best world trainers in Australia. So there are a couple of trainers: Denise Love, Zenith Virago, and Preparing the Way, Helen Callinan.
click to read more.
Helen's Preparing the Way is the first certificate for end-of-life doula training worldwide that's being verified by or supported by the government. But a lot of us do that training. And then we often bring other skills, whether that's from a health professional background counseling or some people's rich life experiences in death and dying.
But we've got fantastic trainers here. So while you're there, Jackie, how do doulas work in aged care accommodation living environments? Yeah, as I said, people can engage our services privately or through aged care packages, home care package funding if they've got it available, and NDIS.
We can visit hospitals, residential aged care, or a person's own home. We're not defined by Monday through Friday, nine to five. We're not defined by strict policies and procedures that organisations have or staffing ratios.
But we also, if I'm engaged with a person in a facility or hospital, I'll always introduce myself as being engaged by the family or the individual as an end-of-life doula and explain why I'm there.
To watch the related video snippet from the Dying to Know Day Panelist click here
LEGAL REQUIREMENTS FOR TRANSPORTING A BODY
Okay, and another one, legally, must a funeral director be involved to transport a body from a hospital care facility or home, or can the body be transported to home, sorry, from a hospital or care facility, can the body be transported back home after they're deceased?
click to read more.
Yeah, so we've had some people ask this sort of question. Firstly, I would highly recommend a funeral home do it for you for transportation. Not everyone has access to a stretcher and that, and you can't really prop them up in the back seat.
I would highly recommend engaging a funeral director for the transportation, and more so for the legal side of things as well. Hospitals have strict procedures regarding the release of deceased people.
That being said, having someone at home for a vigil is absolutely possible. Just this week, I was talking with a company in the Netherlands that has cold plate technology. It's a cold plate that the deceased can be placed on, so there's no need for embalming.
You can preserve them for a longer period of time. So absolutely having a viewing at home is not out of the question. There's a few things we have to do to just make sure it's safe and secure for them.
It's always best if you're having a viewing at home that they are in coffins just to make sure everything's safe and nice for that viewing and for that experience. But certainly you're well within your right to not use a funeral director to get these things done.
It's just a very difficult process without the right tools, equipment, and knowledge. So, it is possible, but it will just add a lot more stress. There's a website called Australian Home Funeral Alliance that talks about different elements, including transportation of bodies.
As you say, it's much easier often to engage a funeral director to support you in that, but you will find that I think it's the executor who's responsible for the deceased person's body. So they can with the right documentation and release transport a person under certain circumstances.
But I think mainstream people tend to default to the funeral director, don't we? Other states are particularly looking into this, but every state and territory has its own legislation.
To watch the related video snippet from the Dying to Know Day Panelist click here
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