What is Empathic Listening?


What is Empathic Listening?

Empathic listening is a part of the self-connection process from Nonviolent Communication (NVC). In one-on-one sessions you will have space to be heard with full presence,  as well as receiving reflections of pure empathy. Any judgements, criticism, assumptions, blame and analysis will be offered back to you in a more compassionate language of feelings and needs. This process enables you to be deeply heard, whilst being supported to acknowledge and understand your experiences.

Empathic Listening is useful for times when you may not have been in touch with your feelings and needs in the moment. You can revisit your experience from a place of empathy, connecting to the feelings and needs that were alive, in order to accept, integrate and learn from your experience. Once you can understand your own experience, you can then find the openness and curiosity to consider how it may have been for others. 


Empathic Listening sessions can be booked in bundles of two, four or nine. These are offered to support exploring different levels of thoughts and patterns in your inner world when you may need them. There is flexibility to use sessions over time to suit your learning and growth, without a commitment to meet regularly over a period of months or years. 

Is this therapy?
Psychology Today describes therapy as: Psychotherapy, also called talk therapy or usually just "therapy," is a form of treatment aimed at relieving emotional distress and mental health problems. Provided by any of a variety of trained professionals—psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, or licensed counselors—it involves examining and gaining insight into life choices and difficulties faced by individuals, couples, or families.

Whilst Empathic Listening is not a form of therapy, it can offer theraputic benefits in terms of offering healing in understanding, accepting and integrating challenging experiences and the emotions that come with them. Empathic Listening comes from Nonviolent Communication, which was created by Clinical Psychologist, Marshall B. Rosenburg, who wanted to explore a way to come out of trying to analyse or 'fix' people. Instead he wanted to create a healing tool that inspired people to contribute to their own and others' well-being. Marshall's work was influenced by that of Carl Rogers, one of the founders of Humanistic Psychology. This modality centres the subjective experience of the individual for uncovering insights and answers (rather than diagnosing), along with the belief that all humans are innately good.  

Role playing a conflict with NVC Certified Instructor, Yoram Mosenzon when I assisted with his NVC 2 day training course in May 2022.

Some Principles of NVC


- Violence refers to anything that causes harm to another (or ourselves), which in communication can be criticism, blame, judgement, interpretation, etc.
- Everything anyone ever does is trying and meet needs.
- Conflict happens at the level of strategies, rather than at needs, and
- Everyone's needs matter.

Once we have all needs on the table, we can start to get creative in finding strategies in meeting those needs. 

What is your experience with this practice?

I have been a practitioner of NVC for the past 4 years and have benefitted from giving and receiving empathy every week since September 2019. I have completed 123 hours of training with Certified NVC Trainers over that time and am currently participating in the year-long 'Embodying and Teaching NVC course' lead by Yoram Mosenzon before the certification process. I also have completed authentic leadership training in Authentic Relating, another conscious connection modality and host workshops as playful and deep ways to connect to yourself and others. You can read what other people say about how Empathic Listening sessions with me have helped them here.


What is Nonviolent Communication (NVC)?

The Centre for Nonviolent Communication describes Nonviolent Communication as a way of being in the world that has the purpose is to serve life and to create connection in such a way that everyone’s needs can be met through natural care. You can learn more about NVC, and different trainings available across the world through their website.

For me, NVC is a process and a mindset. A way of understanding ourselves, others and the world. It starts by having empathy for our own feelings and needs first, in order to then have empathy for those of others and find collaborative ways to meet everyone's needs. You can get a flavour of what NVC looks like in practical terms through the introduction video below.


An exercise to practice some self-empathy

An introduction to NVC from Yoram Mosenzon

Offering empathic listening towards the vision of a world everyone has the self-connection and clarity to make choices from their desires, needs and boundaries - whilst honouring those of others too.


Self-Connection is a Skill 2023©