Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

It is a practice that comes from Compassionate Communication, also known as Nonviolent Communication (or NVC). The process involves helping you to understand your experience through the following framework:

• • • • • • Observation - what objective thing triggered your experience?

          • Feelings - how do you feel about that observation?

          • Needs - what needs do your feelings point to?

          • Request - what do you want to do about this to meet your needs? This can be a request to self or other.

This is what helps you to feel your feelings and acknowledge your needs, rather than getting caught up in stories, judgement, blame, etc. I will keep gently bringing us back to this during an empathic listening session. Link out.

Empathic listening sessions are 60 minutes long and are structured as per:

• • Brief check in (connecting to the moment, sharing any feelings, needs, requests, etc that may be alive)

  • Time for you to be heard and receive reflection: I usually recommend speaking with silent empathy for 10 mins, then I can reflect back and you can see where you want to go.

  • During this time you will be invited to understand your experience through the framework of:

    • • • • Observation - what objective thing triggered your experience?

          • Feelings - how do you feel about that observation?

          • Needs - what needs do your feelings point to?

          • Request - what do you want to do about this to meet your needs? This can be a request to self or other.

  • Short check out (connecting to the moment again, maybe noticing any shifts since the start, sharing process feedback, etc)

Whilst empathic listening often brings emotional healing, is not therapy. You can find out more about how empathic listening is different to therapy here. If you have a mental health condition, I can recommend the resources and support at https://www.mind.org.uk/ and anxietyuk.org.uk

Friends can be a great emotional support and their availability isn't always guaranteed. I have held empathic listening sessions for people who may not have had friends around who were able to support them with this. Or friends have ran out of analysis to offer *that topic*. It could have even been banned from the group chat or conversations! This can be a common outcome with those thoughts that go round and round, but it doesn't help when you're left struggling to make sense of your those thoughts living rent-free in your mind.

With an empathic listening session you get:

• Capacity to be present and listen deeply, 

• Skilled with empathy, 

• Time availability to hear you explore your topic,

• Ability to stay open to your experience, rather than adding in assumptions, advice, interpretations, etc.

I have been a practitioner of NVC for 4 years, it marks a period of opening up to making life more wonderful for me! My intention is to live my life with NVC as a way of being. I have completed 123 hours of NVC training with certified NVC trainers and have been practicing and sharing empathic listening every week for the past 4 years.

Currently, I am participating in the year-long course 'Embodying and Teaching NVC' with Certified Facilitator Yoram Mosenzon. I also host workshops in Authentic Relating. This is another conscious connection practice that involves playful and deep games to help people connect more to themselves and each other.

Nonviolent Communication (NVC), was developed by Clinical Psychologist, Mediator and Teacher, Marshall B. Rosenberg during the 1960s. Influenced by the humanistic theory work of Karl Rogers before him, the approach is both a process and a mindset that helps people to gather insights from their own experience. it is based around the trust that anything anyone does can be understood through the lens of universal feelings and needs. This is summarised as 'needs consciousness' and is a key concept to want to acknowledge everyone's needs and collaborate on finding creative ways to meet them.

NVC has a simple process of four steps: observation, feelings, needs, and request. This process helps people to connect to their experience through articulating their feelings and needs clearly, as well as hearing them in others for improved connection between people. You can find out more about NVC through the CNVC website.

We'll get to know each other and take some moments to see whether whether you can pinpoint a specific comment, behaviour, moment that triggered the response in you. Being able to access this will make your empathic listening session more effective. If that's clear, we have a fit and you can make the payment, we can flow into the 60 min empathic listening session from there. Alternatively, we can schedule the empathic listening session for another time.

Over video calls using Google meet. They can also be audio calls and I recommend using the video for a deeper connection. You will be able to receive more empathy through my body language and I will be better able to make empathic guesses and reflections to support your self-connection process.

I trust in the power of effectiveness listening from the many times I have given and received this powerful practice. I want to make this practice and its benefits more accessible, as well as giving an option for emotional support in the moment, without a need to commit to multiple sessions. Even thought most people do choose to opt for multiple sessions for better value and ongoing learning and integration once they become familiar with the process, I wanted to make ad hoc sessions as a choice too as they really do create results. This is why you need to be open to exploring your own experience to get the most from empathic listening.

Payments are accepted by IBAN bank transfer or Paypal. These need to be sent before the call.

I want this work to be accessible and I get that not everyone may be able to invest in sessions, so I offer a number of calls by donation each month. Drop me a message to check availability.