Relate

"We're in this together" is quoted on billboards, hashtagged on social media, and eluded to in advertisements.  If that is everyone's goal, why are we feeling so lonely, depressed, anxious, and socially separate.  Here are some ways to stay physically distanced but not socially distanced.

1. Video Chat

   • Zoom fatigue is a thing.  Who wants to get on another video call after a long day of meetings?  Fortunately, it is a little different when it is with loved ones that you can't be around.

2. Phone Calls

   • Good old fashioned phone calls still keep us bonded to others in a different and more complete way than social media and texting.

3. Snail Mail

   • Who doesn't like receiving mail that isn't a bill or advertisement?  A quick note or long letter can be cathartic and connecting.

4. Work Social Club

   • Fortunately most buildings and departments in our district have a social or sunshine committee.  They tend to put together activities and find ways to boost the spirits of staff.  Join your club or ask what their activity schedule is.

5. Grab a Coffee

   • There are still plenty of places that are open for people to be together and grab a meal or warm beverage.

6. Active Together

   • Double your self-care efforts by grabbing a friend to walk, jog, or do yoga with.  You'll get the benefits of exercise AND social connection.

7. Random Act of Kindness

   • Try to do something nice for someone else.  You don't need to know them well, everyone likes it when someone is thoughtful.  This could start a new friendship or keep an old one going.  Plus it just feels good.

8. Rituals

   • Create a new or re-up an old ritual.  Find ways to celebrate things of value.  A song to start meetings.  A cake for birthdays.  A flower for new degree or certification earned.  Ring a bell when a unengaged family responds to a call or email.

9. Join or Create a Group

   • Think about your interests and passions and where you feel comfortable.  There are lots of groups on FB and Insta and Meet Up, at churches, at exercise locations, and with neighbors.

   • Find others around you that have some interest in something you like.  Create a group to meet regularly.

10. Hobbies

    • There are online trainings and workshops for hobbies, crafts, and passions.  (cooking, knitting, macrame, photography)

11. Dinner Party

    • Social food time?  I'm in.  Dress up and look good, its never a waste.  There are still ways to manage this virtually or with physical distancing.  

    • You and your friends make a part of a meal and package them separately for everyone to enjoy.

    • Video chat during your meal.

    • Find a space outdoors or with plenty of space to eat in a physically distanced setting.

12. Game Night

    • Can be done virtually or in-person.  There are plenty that can be played in either setting.

13. Film Festival

    • Theaters are open.

    • Watch a movie outside together.

    • Video a chat while watching the same movie.

    • Everyone watch the same movie and discuss the next time you see each other in a physically distanced setting, like a book club.

14. Book or Podcast Club

    • Find a book or podcast that you find interesting.  Create a group to discuss the book or podcast by chapter or episode.

15. Volunteer

    • There is so much need in our community, and right now is no exception.  There are plenty of ways that you can help others virtually, remotely, or in-person.

16. Concerts and events

    • There are still live-streaming concerts and events that you can attend by yourself or with others.

17. Recipe Exchange

    • This can be done virtually through email, docs, or slides.

Women

• More access to social support 

• More likely to seek connection when stressed

Men

• Less likely to reach out due to stigma attached (shame, weakness)

Co-Rumination

• Excessively discussing & rehashing problems

• Mutual encouragement of problem talk

• Dwelling on negative thoughts & feelings

• Men: Increases positive friendship quality AND does not increase anxiety & depression

• Women: Increases positive friendship quality AND increases anxiety & depression