Stickers, Tokens, Points, and Contracts

Raising Responsible Stars: Tools and Techniques for Positive Reinforcement

Parenting is a rewarding journey but comes with challenges, mainly when guiding children towards positive behaviors. This page offers a wealth of tools and techniques using positive reinforcement – a proven method to encourage good choices in children of all ages.

Explore four key methods:

• Stickers: Celebrate achievements for younger children.

• Tokens: Exchange earned tokens for privileges or (occasionally) material rewards.

• Points: Visually track progress, boosting your child's sense of accomplishment.

• Contracts: Foster open communication and accountability with older children and teens.

Equip yourself with these effective techniques to not just manage but to create a positive and supportive environment where your child can thrive and shine!

• Start Simple: For many preschoolers, the thrill of earning stickers and receiving praise is motivation enough. Begin with just stickers and avoid offering additional rewards unless necessary. If your child doesn't earn a sticker, use it to discuss the behavior and encourage them to try again next time. Make it Fun: Ask your child to create the chart and choose their favorite stickers. The more exciting the process, the more motivated they'll be.

• Focus on the Positive: Instead of dwelling on negative actions, use the chart to highlight and reward the behaviors you want to see more of. For instance, replace "No hitting!" with "Use gentle touches."

• Reward Often: Young children thrive on frequent positive reinforcement. Offer stickers every 10-15 minutes to keep them engaged and focused on the desired behavior.

Gradually Fade Out: As your child masters a behavior, slowly reduce the frequency of sticker rewards. This will help the positive behavior become a natural part of their routine. However, be prepared for some resistance or regression. If this happens, stay consistent and remind your child of your encouraging positive behavior. By following these empowering tips, you can effectively harness the power of positive reinforcement to nurture good habits in your child, putting you in control of their behavior positively.

This system, which turns good behavior into a rewarding experience, offers a beacon of hope in your parenting journey, promising to make your life easier and your child's behavior more positive!

Imagine this: instead of tantrums, your child earns colorful tokens for good choices. These tokens become their "currency" to "buy" things they enjoy, like extra playtime, picking a bedtime story, a small toy, or privileges.

Here's how it works:

• Pick Your Battles: Choose a few specific behaviors you want to encourage, like completing chores such as making their bed or putting away their toys, finishing homework on time, or using kind words with siblings during playtime. Focusing on only one or two behaviors at a time helps your child focus on what matters.

• Create Fun Tokens: Get creative! Use colorful buttons, stars drawn on paper, or even small toys. Let your child help decorate them to make them extra special.

• Earning Power: Decide how many tokens your child gets for each desired behavior. Keep it achievable – younger children might need more tokens for more significant tasks.

The Reward Shop: Foster a collaborative environment with your child as you create a "reward menu" together. This menu lists fun activities, small toys, extra screen time, or choosing a bedtime story. Set the price of each reward in tokens to motivate them to save up. By involving your child in the decision-making process, they feel included and valued, which boosts their motivation to earn tokens. As your child earns tokens, celebrate their progress with praise and encouragement! This positive reinforcement keeps them motivated to make good choices.

Here are some bonus tips:

• Use a chart with pictures to clearly show what behaviors earn tokens and what rewards they can buy.

• Focus on rewarding good choices, not punishing bad ones.

• Be consistent with your expectations and rewards.

• Gradually increase the difficulty or number of tokens needed for a reward as your child improves. For example, if your child consistently makes their bed for a week, you could increase the reward to 2 tokens instead of 1. This gradual increase in the value of the tokens will keep your child engaged and motivated to continue earning them.

• Most importantly, keep it fun and engaging for you and your child!

Remember, patience is key! Learning takes time, and setbacks are a natural part of the process. But by celebrating progress and working together, you can help your child develop positive behaviors and a sense of accomplishment through this fun reward system. Reassure yourself that it's a learning process, and setbacks are a part of it. Your patience and understanding are crucial in this journey.

Earning Points for Positive Choices (Ages 7-12) 

Do you find it challenging to guide your child, aged 7 to 12, to follow instructions or maintain composure when upset? A point chart, inspired by the research of psychologist Alan Kazdin, can be a potent tool to shift this dynamic (Kazdin, 2008; Kazdin, 2013; Kazdin & Rotella, 2009). By implementing this system, you'll feel more empowered to shape your child's behavior.

Here's how it works:

1. Involve your child in the process of setting goals and choosing rewards.

2. Pick a specific behavior you want to target, like "following directions the first time asked" or "staying calm when frustrated."

3. Create a bright chart with your child's name and the target behavior listed at the top.

4. Divide the chart into sections for days or weeks, and choose a fun way to track progress, like stickers or small drawings.

Each time your child demonstrates the desired behavior, they earn a set number of points. Start with a reasonable amount to maintain their motivation. As you track their progress on the chart, take a moment to celebrate their achievements with heartfelt praise and encouragement! When they've accumulated enough points, they can exchange them for a pre-agreed reward, a moment that will fill you with joy and pride.

The brilliance of this system lies in its positive reinforcement. Your child will learn that good choices are rewarded, motivating them to continue practicing the desired behavior. The visual chart will keep them engaged and allow them to witness their progress over time, giving you the confidence that positive change is underway.

Here are some additional tips:

1. Be consistent with your expectations and rewards.

2. Focus on praising their effort, not just perfection.

3. Celebrate small milestones along the way, and as your child improves, you can slowly reduce their reliance on the chart.

This point system is a great way to create a positive and rewarding environment that helps your child develop and maintain essential life 

skills.

See the Sample Point Chart Below. Include "Following Directions" and "Staying Calm when Frustrated or told No" as target behaviors.

The Behavioral Contract: A Collaborative Tool for Teens and Parents

This contract is a joint venture, a roadmap to success for teens and parents. It sets clear expectations for the teen's behavior at home and school, consequences for not meeting those expectations, and rewards for surpassing them.

Here's a breakdown of how it works:

1. Desired Behaviors: This section details responsible behavior in schoolwork, chores, communication, and technology use.

2. Consequences for Non-Compliance: This outlines what happens when the teen breaks the contract. Consequences might vary depending on the severity of the infraction (minor vs. serious).

Rewards for Positive Behavior: This section serves as a source of motivation for the teen. It lists rewards they can earn for consistently meeting expectations or exceeding expectations.

Regular Review and Revision: The contract is not a rigid set of guidelines but a flexible tool. Regular discussions and potential adjustments ensure it remains relevant and fair as the teen matures and their responsibilities evolve. This flexibility empowers parents and teens to adapt to changing circumstances and needs. Overall, the contract fosters open communication, accountability, and mutual respect within the family. It's a collaborative effort to empower teens to develop responsible habits and become successful young adults.

References

            Barkley, R. A., & Benton, C. M. (2013a). 

                     Your Defiant Child: Eight Steps to Better Behavior. Guilford Press.

         Barkley, R. A., & Robin, A. L. (2013). 

                      Your Defiant Teen: 10 Steps to Resolve Conflict and Rebuild Your Relationship. Guilford Publications.

Kazdin, A. E. (2008). Parent management training: Treatment for oppositional, aggressive, and antisocial behavior in children and adolescents. Oxford University Press.

Kazdin, A. E. (2013). Everyday parenting toolkit: The kazdin method for easy, step-by-step, lasting change for you and your child. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.

Kazdin, A. E., & Rotella, C. (2009). The kazdin method for parenting the defiant child: With no pills, no therapy, no contest of wills. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.

Morin, A. (2024, April 16). How Positive Reinforcement Encourages Good Behavior in Kids. Parents. https://www.parents.com/positive-reinforcement-examples-8619283