Attend/Ignore

Attend/Ignore: Increase Positive Behavior/Decrease Problem Behavior

Attend/Ignore is a behavioral strategy often used in parenting to manage unwanted behaviors in children. It operates on the principle of positive reinforcement, which involves rewarding desired behaviors, and behavioral extinction, which refers to the gradual decrease in the frequency of a behavior when it is no longer reinforced.

How it works:

1.    Attend: Give positive attention to the child when they display desired behaviors. These could be behaviors like playing quietly, sharing, or following instructions. This could include verbal praise, physical affection, or engaging in their activity.

2.    Ignore: When the child engages in undesirable behaviors (e.g., whining, tantrums, minor aggression), withdraw your attention. This means no eye contact, verbal response, or physical interaction. The goal is not to reward the behavior with attention.

The reasoning behind it:

• Children often crave attention, even if it's negative. Ignoring unwanted behaviors can reduce frequency by making them less rewarding for the child.

• Simultaneously, attending to positive behaviors reinforces them, increasing the likelihood they will be repeated.

Important considerations:

• Consistency: This technique must be applied consistently to be effective. If attention is given to unwanted behaviors intermittently, they are more likely to persist. However, when consistently applied, parents can feel a sense of relief as they see the unwanted behaviors reduce.

• Safety: Ignoring should not be used for behaviors that pose a risk to the child or others. This safety measure provides parents with peace of mind, knowing that their child's well-being is always a priority.

• Alternative behaviors: Teach positive alternative behavior through explanation and role play to encourage alternative, acceptable behaviors for the child to replace the undesired ones.

Examples:

• Scenario: A child throws a tantrum when told it's time to leave the playground.

• Attend/Ignore: The parent calmly states it's time to go, then ignores the tantrum. Once the child calms down, the parent praises them for their cooperation.

• Scenario: A child interrupts a conversation by whining.

• Attend/Ignore: The adult continues talking, ignoring the whining. When the child uses a normal voice, the adult acknowledges them and responds.

The Attend/Ignore technique can be a powerful tool for shaping behavior, but it must be used thoughtfully and in conjunction with other positive parenting strategies. This strategy may not work for all children or in all situations, and it requires consistency and patience to see results.