Loss of Privileges

Loss of Privileges:

Identifying Privileges for Effective Discipline: A Comprehensive Guide

Using loss of privileges as a disciplinary tool can be effective as a parent, but it often comes with the challenge of determining which privileges to restrict. This guide provides a comprehensive approach to utilizing this technique, focusing on identifying privileges, implementing strategies, and considering alternative approaches.

Identifying Privileges:

A helpful starting point is mentally reviewing a typical day in your child's life. Identify privileges they rely upon or activities you do for them that they could manage themselves. Look for instances where your child might view a privilege as an entitlement.

Examples of Privileges Often Mistaken for Entitlements:

• Screen time (TV, video games, tablets, phones)

• Staying up late

• Making decisions without parental input

• Getting a ride to school when the bus is available

• Owning certain toys, gadgets, or branded items

• Special outings (amusement parks, restaurants, movies)

• Socializing with friends outside of school hours

Implementing Loss of Privileges:

1.    Communicate Clearly: When issuing a loss of privilege, clearly state the unwanted behavior, the specific privilege being lost, and the duration. For example, "Because you hit your brother, you're losing iPad time for the rest of the day."

2.    Be Consistent: Apply consequences consistently for similar behaviors. Inconsistency can undermine the effectiveness of this technique.

3.    Age-Appropriateness: Tailor the privilege and duration of the loss to your child's age and developmental stage.

4.    Focus on Teaching: Use the loss of privilege as an opportunity to teach your child about appropriate behavior and problem-solving skills. Role-play a similar situation, having your child practice the proper behavior. 

Alternative Strategies and Considerations:

Loss of privileges is just one tool in the disciplinary toolbox. It's essential to consider other effective strategies, such as:

• Positive Reinforcement: Reward desired behaviors with praise, attention, or small privileges.

• Natural Consequences: Allow natural consequences to occur when appropriate (e.g., if a child refuses to wear a jacket, they may feel cold).

• Logical Consequences: Impose consequences directly related to the misbehavior (e.g., if a child breaks a toy, they lose access to it).

Additional Considerations:

• Individual Differences: Recognize that every child is unique. Tailor your approach to their specific interests and motivations.

• Positive Relationship: Maintain a strong, loving relationship with your child. Discipline should be a teaching tool, not a punishment.

By recognizing potential privileges, implementing them thoughtfully, and considering alternative approaches, parents can create a more structured and practical approach to discipline, reinforcing positive behavior and fostering a sense of responsibility in their children. Remember, the goal is to guide and teach, not simply punish.