Vanessa

When overcoming conflicts, I realised that the solution often revolved around the aspect of change; change could mean change in strategy, change in values, or change in style. This reflected towards one of my biggest challenges that I struggled within the past years regarding an internal conflict between my familial expectations and my personal beliefs. The dispute was caused by my urge to pursue an artistic future abroad which interfered with my traditional value in supporting my family financially by staying in China, causing an act of indecisiveness between freedom and loyalty. The concept is branched towards my exhibition by projecting the stages of my emotions and the resolution of the conflict. “去哪兒?” known as “To where?”, opens my exhibition by portraying my initial reaction regarding the decision of my future path. I obtained a sense of guilt for actively thinking about disobeying my family’s expectations to pursue in a desirable career. The piece incorporates the iconic symbolism in the use of complementary colours, implying the opposing relationship between my freedom and my familial respect. Through this exhibition, I hope to document a journey of self-reflection by exhibiting the process of solving a personal conflict that viewers can relate to and learn from.

The crimson red dragon motif is a particular icon that I’ve explored in my works. Given that the creature is heavenly known as a powerful yet wise character in Chinese mythology, this idea correlated to how I perceived my family’s expectations on my individuality. Such as the 3D sculpture _成长 (Growing) which displays two sides of my physical body; one side consists of the crimson dragon, tangling inside my body. This re-imaged the conflicted feeling between being controlled by my cultural expectations or enduring the sense of guilt for disregarding my family, which suffocated my personality.

However, shown in the artwork Peel My 桔子 ( tangerines), the idea of feeling irritated about fulfilling cultural standards changed to acceptance due to realising the limited time I have with my family. Hence, the crimson dragon gradually deteriorates throughout my works; the visual features of the icon, such as the iconic red value and the scale-like pattern is less incorporated into artworks. Such as in “Simple Pathways”, as the use of line and movement mimics the movement of the dragon, but the iconic patterns and colour are no longer incorporated. Thus, the artwork resembles the shift in expectations that I have on myself; understanding to accept all consequences and live life to the fullest given the limited time we have.

The transition between red hues to monochrome in the body of works is another component to portray the “reality check” that I figured. This was triggered by the incident of my

Grandfather, which allowed me to reconcile with the memories I had with my family. Memories with my Grandfather made me remember the existence of tangerines in my childhood. In the artwork, Peel My 桔子 ( tangerines) acts as the turning point of the constraint feeling that I had in the beginning. The intentional time reverse of the tangerines peeling juxtaposes the time I have left with my Grandfather. Therefore, artworks exhibited before the “Tangerines” piece implemented more vibrant hues compared to the works displayed after.

The body of works displays a personal journey; a journey that started with the expression of hatred and conflict with family expectations to the feeling of appreciation for their ongoing existence and companionship due to the realisation of time being uncompromising. Hence, each body of work resembles each experience that strongly defined each consecutive process of a clash regarding how I accepted my cultural values. Thus, the artworks are placed in a straight line downwards in order, which makes viewers analyse each artwork consecutively, evoking them to understand the process of the exhibition instead of heading straight to the end. This supports the artistic approaches used in each artwork as it amplifies the transition from each artwork. Additionally, in the same time, I hope the portrayal of a journey in overcoming an overwhelming obstacle during the growth of my individuality can motivate viewers to cherish the littlest moments as it would be difficult to cherish them once time has passed.

Qu Naer? (To Where?)

Oil on Wood

Growing up in a traditional Chinese family had a significant impact on my values; generating a barrier between myself and my surroundings. The layered strokes outlines the border around me; symbolising the familial values that shaped my individuality. Towards maturity, the strokes attached to my body turned into suppression I felt in the barrier which urged me to seek a path of creativity and freedom. However, it created a sense of guilt for wanting happiness over loyalty and obedience.

Cheng Zhang (Growing)
Mixed Media: Plaster and Acrylic

Cheng Zhang is a clay sculpture that is intended to represent the internal struggles I kept when dealing with family expectations. The tangled scales behind the sculpture symbolises the familial expectations to be wise, protected and conservative, like a dragon. This strangled my emotions and thoughts to be perfect and strong which suffocated me. The subtle stains in the front of the body portrayed the pain felt when given to reach flawlessness and perfection. This tangled my individuality.

Xiang (Look Alike)

Digital Photography, Body Paint

The conflicted feeling between my traditional values and my urge to freedom gradually intensified. This emotionally burdened me which empowered me to express my thoughts and emotions freely to seek for solutions. The expressive movement of the body re-images my motivation to seek for change and to stand for my desires. Whereas the red scale patterns attached onto the body symbolises the family memories that stained me throughout my childhood to adolescence, which turned into expectations.

Peel My 橘子
Marker on Paper

Tangerines were a prime memory of my Grandfather. His constant urge of peeling the tangerines for me was a gesture that I always felt annoyed of. As of now, the tangerines are rarely peeled due to my Grandfather’s deterioration which made me realise the limited time I have with my loved ones. The intentional time reverse of the tangerines juxtaposes the time I have left with my Grandfather. The peeling gesture represents my acceptance of my cultural differences, and to cherish my family values.

Simple Pathways

Graphite, Colour Pencil, Marker

After reflecting upon my memories with my family, I began to realise that spending a year corresponds to walking a tangled path. The tangled path goes through each letter to the end of the month. The black dull paths symbolises the hardship and conflicts that I have gone through in the year; on the contrary, the soft vibrant paths exemplify the moments of enjoyment and accomplishments. Although days can be full of challenges, time will always bring us to the next cycle of a year.

Just Another Day

I realised the importance of a year which led me to start observing my surroundings. Just Another Day is a series of postcards that document my observations from living in Hong Kong each day of the week. Every day, I noticed different things, which made me realise the importance of being present with what matters instead of being concerned for the future.

Stabilisation

Graphite on Paper

Stabilisation is a self-reflection regarding the conflict I experienced with my cultural identity. When observing my surroundings, I began to contemplate the people around me; especially my family. When it comes to the function of the body, I realised how the toes of the feet are often misinterpreted. Thus, the feet represent myself as an individual and the toes represent my loved ones. Although we may have differences, as a family, we will always support each other.

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