kion

Absurdism by philosopher Albert Camus is the conflict between the pursuit of meaning in life and the inability to find it, Camus suggests embracing this uncertainty. This helped me observe my life differently, turning negativity into positivity. The message conveyed in my exhibition is that absurdity is not immediately apparent, but once one realises it, there is a shift in how one looks at their struggles, showing that there are still opportunities for true happiness during times of stress. I want viewers to experience a sense of optimism that I did.

“The Bloody Cubicles” and “The Decaying Bedroom” depict the alienation I experienced during the first lockdown period. Then being allowed to enter society again inspired “The Scream for Escape”, because overthinking during alienation revealed my insecurities with my personality, and how social norms have constructed it in order to fit in. This conformity results in the desire to escape and find my own identity to be happy. This period of happiness inspired “The Window of Happiness”, but it also depicts my pessimism due to past alienation and the pandemic. The second lockdown period that followed inspired “The Fall From Grace”, depicting the return to alienation. The absurdity is first shown here, as my search for happiness led me back to alienation. But through absurdism, I embraced uncertainty, finding happiness during stress, inspiring “The Escape to Optimism”. “The Absurd Maze” is where absurdism is fully realised, showing how even though emotional stress is inevitable, one can still find happiness.

A key element used is movement. Like in “The Escape to Optimism”, movement shows the escape from emotional prison toward happiness. This is frequently created through the change in value from dark to light. Rough texture is used to evoke a sense of discomfort, while smooth texture evokes comfort. Colour is used to contrast positivity and negativity, like how “The Absurd Maze” contrasts yellow and red. I used contrast with value, texture, and colour to juxtapose alienation and happiness. Space is used to depict intangible emotions in a more realistic setting. In “The Bloody Cubicles”, the space between cubicles evokes loneliness. “The Scream for Escape” incorporates physical space, representing a shift from conformity to happiness, evoking a sense of liberation as the viewer ducks past the strings.

A motif is the cubicles, in “The Bloody Cubicles”, it symbolises loneliness. In “The Escape to Optimism”, it turns into bright energy, representing how I am turning past pain into happiness. Another motif is the facets, representing my identity. The saturated facets represent happiness with my identity, which is shattered in “The Fall From Grace”, falling into prison. The prison motif represents the confinement felt during alienation, as I am trapped with negative emotions. This prison is escaped in “The Escape to Optimism”, embracing absurdity to escape emotional stress.

My exhibition shows a journey, each piece has to be viewed in relation to the previous and the entire exhibition. As the viewer views each piece, they should reflect on the entire journey thus far, so the absurdity gets clearer, until full realisation at “The Absurd Maze”. The viewer would be walking in a circular hallway, showing that this journey is like a loop, as I started and ended at alienation. However I am now experiencing that alienation differently, I have developed a more optimistic outlook. Therefore at the last piece, the viewer will see the first piece through glass, offering a point of reflection to see how different my mindset has become. Each piece will be displayed far from each other so the viewer cannot see the next piece while viewing another. Therefore the viewer does not know what comes next, showing that the future is unpredictable. This also provides more time for reflection as they walk toward the next piece, thinking about their experience and what could come next. Pieces about alienation are illuminated with one light in a dark hallway. This creates an ominous atmosphere relating to the feelings of alienation. “The Scream for Escape” and “The Window of Happiness” are in a well-lit portion of the hallway, creating a more positive atmosphere relating to happiness. This lighting arrangement immerses the viewer in the journey, contrasting different emotions with lighting.

The Bloody Cubicles

Acrylic Paint on Canvas

During lockdown, everyone is trapped in an emotional cubicle, making it difficult to emotionally connect. The lack of emotional connection reduces everyone to unrecognizable shadows. The rough texture of the purple brush strokes represent the frustration felt trapped in the cubicle that floats in a black open space, creating a sense of loneliness and nothingness. The rough texture of blood on the hands shows the emotional pain, reaching for emotional connection with the other person.

The Decaying Bedroom
Acrylic Paint on Canvas

The furniture represents my mental health, its disorientation and loss of form show how lost I am while my mental health decays during alienation. The heavy visual weight on the right contrasts the emptiness on the left, portraying loneliness. Visual tension is created in the center where two complementary colors meet, where the desire to escape and dark thoughts are fighting each other. The brush strokes create movement back and forth, evoking anxiety felt from being trapped in this tension.

The Scream for Escape

Installation of Digital Art

The neutral colored facets of the face represent how conforming to social norms construct my identity, resulting in the desire to escape and find my true identity. The transition to saturated facets represents the shift away from social norms. The frame being cracked represents the destruction of society’s facade, enabling escape. The connecting ropes represent the tension during conformity. The viewer crouching past the ropes represents the difficulty to escape from conformity’s tension.

The Window of Happiness
Digital

After escaping social norms and finding my true identity, one feels true happiness, again represented by the saturated colored facets on the buildings. But due to past alienation, there is an expectation that emotional stress will occur again. This skepticism prevents me from fully experiencing that happiness, so I am looking out at the other buildings through the window of a distant one. The hallway creates movement toward the darkness, representing the inevitable return back to alienation.

The Fall From Grace
Acrylic Paint on Canvas

The inevitable return to alienation eliminates the happiness felt after escaping social norms, represented by the saturated facets shattering into pieces. The color shift to dark and sharp facets symbolizes happiness turning into emotional stress and pain as I fall back into the prison of alienation. The prison portrays how I am trapped in a depressing mindset with negative emotions. The value change from light to dark further represents the descent from positivity to negativity.

The Escape to Optimism

Acrylic Paint on Canvas

When alienation traps me in an emotional prison, instead of emotionally decaying like I have in the past, I am more optimistic. I am reaching out of the emotional prison, and reaching for newly found happiness. This happiness is found by reflecting on past experiences with alienation and learning to embrace it, turning the past into positivity, symbolized by the shift in value of the geometric cubicles from dark to light organic energy, liberating me from the emotional stress that traps me.

The Absurd Maze

Acrylic Paint on Canvas

The endless maze with no clear destination represents the absurdity of this journey, showing how this journey to find optimism during alienation is only a small step in a life of emotional stress to eternally navigate through. But the contrast between the dark red and the bright yellow of the maze in the foreground represents the shift in perspective, showing that there is optimism found in this eternal struggle if we stay in the present, embracing absurdity rather than being lost in it.

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