megan

This body of work is a journey to self acceptance. Insecurity has always been a word that has a negative connotation. For 6 years, I was reluctant to accept the fact that I have insecurities. Being vulnerable was difficult as I have insecurities that I do not wish to share. Hence I constantly hid and avoided them, feeling uncomfortable as they held control over me. However as insecurities became more normalized in the media, I educated myself on the topic. I was tired of constantly trying to conceal them, and was motivated to go on a journey to accept them and understand my own self worth. Through this exhibition, I am helping to create a pathway for people to understand that by admitting to our insecurities, we can accept them. Through acceptance, we can take ownership and regain control.

Colour plays an important role in guiding a viewer through the process of self acceptance. Each colour in “hidden rainbow” represents one of my insecurities that is later examined by creating individual artworks. The same colours are used in “Ultimate Serenity” to also represent my insecurities. However instead of the sharp and violent motion of the palette knife to create colours in “hidden rainbow”, the colours are dropped slowly into the water as ink, blending harmoniously to create a softer motion. The slow motion and spreading movement represents how I am slowly understanding and accepting insecurities as a part of my identity, and being in harmony with them. This juxtaposes the beginning and the end of my journey, implying that I am no longer frustrated, as I am now calm and have embraced my insecurities. The colours are more translucent in “Ultimate Serenity”, suggesting that my insecurities do not haunt me anymore.

Juxtaposition plays a key role in this exhibition, it represents contrasting sides of myself. The idea of reality vs fantasy shown through realism vs abstraction is a constant theme in my exhibition. For example reality vs fantasy is portrayed through the realistic leaves and abstract background in “getaway?”. It is also portrayed in “My Nirvana” through the objects that represent my insecurities in reality, and the fantastical composition that represents the fabricated and intangible societal expectations. The three-dimensional components also add onto the concept of reality. The abstract part in “hidden rainbow” represents avoidance, while the physical action of tearing is a sign of taking action instead of avoiding reality. The magnifying glass in 24/7 inspector allows viewers to uncover my hidden thoughts, and temporarily experience being the culprit that caused my fear of judgement, as they can now review my true self up close and form judgements, similar to the way I find myself analyzing every detail of my life. By physically dropping ink into the water in “ultimate serenity”, viewers have accepted their insecurities and are ready to move forward. This forms a personal connection between my artwork and the viewers, allowing them to conclude their journey with me by reclaiming ownership.

The exhibition will take place in a long rectangular room with eight individual rooms, each representing a stage in my self discovery journey and thus an insecurity of mine. The final room represents the end of my self discovery journey, as I am finally able to accept my true self and attain peace. Viewers must enter all rooms before entering the final room as it symbolizes the extensive time I used to admit and embrace my insecurities, and the countless challenges I faced along the journey. The door frames to enter each room would be decorated in the same style as “hidden rainbow”, where it would be a giant paper tear with the middle being the opening. It symbolizes how the viewers are tearing layers of me as they progress through my exhibition to discover my true identity. Each room would be painted a certain colour from “hidden rainbow”, as each colour represents one of my hidden insecurities. The painting associated with the insecurity would reside inside the room. As viewers progress through the rooms, they are unravelling me. I hope my journey can motivate others to embrace their vulnerabilities and insecurities, and view insecurities positively instead of negatively.