Side Tracks: Be Prepared for these Defenses
The Stall
When to expect it: After you have stated what you expect to see. (Step 3)
What it looks like: "OK." "Yeah. Sure." "Whatever you say." "I'll work on that." Or, it may be total silence.
What you should do: Keep on track and move to step 4 and getting her/his involvement in solving the problem.
If the stall is silence, especially after you ask for ideas on how to solve the problem, or for agreement, then re-ask the same question..
The Self Inflicted Wound
When to expect it: After you have stated what you have observed. (Step 1)
After you have stated what you need to see (Step 3)
What it looks like: "I know, I know I do that. You know what's worse is..."
What you should do: Again, keep on track with the next step. Move on to "this is what I need to see..."
You may have to say something like "I'd be happy to talk about some of these other issues at another time. For this situation, ..."
The Guilt Trip
When to expect it: At any time in the discussion, but most likely after you have stated what you have observed (step 1) and after you ask for ways to resolve it (step 4).
What it looks like: "You are always picking on me."
"I am doing my best but that isn't enough for you is it?"
"No one can seem to please you. Why should I be any different?"
What you should do: Recognize the sidetrack and don't fall victim to it. Stick to the facts and go through the steps firmly, but gently. Stay focused.
The Attack
When to expect it: Usually, right after you have begun stating what you observed.
What it looks like: "Who are you to tell me?!!?"
"Yeah, that's easy for you to say. You're not the one out here trying to get grants."
What you should do: Stay calm and stick to the facts. DO NOT fight back. Say "I am sorry you feel that way, but this is what the Department's expectations are ..."
You may give the faculty member some time to cool off, but do not let them leave without setting up a specific time to finish the discussion.