Ingredients

• Cooking spray

• 1 (500g) bag or box of glutinous sweet rice flour

• 1 cup (191g) dark brown sugar

• 1/2 cup (114g) granulated sugar

• 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

• 3 large eggs

• 2 1/2 cups 2% milk

• 1 cup avocado oil

• 1 1/2 cups (414g) sweetened red bean paste

Some days felt like a roller coaster, and on other days I felt like flopping over and dying. Some time ago when I was just settling into school life at ISB I would frequently struggle, I would do worse than all of my peers and sometimes it felt like I was helpless at the bottom never able to crawl out of the gaping pit that I knew I was digging.

First, Preheat the oven to 350 Degrees and grease a baking dish. Whisk together flour, sugars, and salt: In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, brown sugar, granulated sugar, and salt.

I would occasionally begin to cry for no foreseeable reason and I don’t even want to mention how much I cried when I had a reason to, when I first came to ISB it was not of my own volition, my family would force me to attend when I wanted to go to my home schools. I still wonder if one choice would’ve been better than the other, but inevitably I’ll never know.

Now, In a separate bowl or 8-cup liquid measuring cup, whisk together the eggs, milk, and oil until fully combined. Pour the liquid mixture into the bowl of dry ingredients. Use a wooden spoon or rubber spatula to mix the ingredients. Switch to a whisk and beat until smooth.

The day was sunny and sweltering, to the point where over the horizon of a hill you would be able to see translucent lines of heat. The truth is, I never saw my brother’s struggle, always having to improve through practice to succeed, while I wallowed. Third, pour half of the batter, about 3 cups, into the prepared baking dish. Set the remaining batter aside. Bake, until partially set for 15 minutes. The edges should look somewhat dry, but the center will still be damp. Carefully remove the pan from the oven. Dollop the bean paste in small spoonfuls all over the cake. Pour the remaining batter over the bean paste and return to the oven. 

At this point, it seemed to me that my brother outclassed me in everything, constantly getting perfect grades, and I thought that there was nothing I could do. Time seemed to stop, I didn’t feel the heat of the sun or the chirping of the birds anymore, my view had shifted after seeing my brother’s struggle month after month, I realized that although he was always better than me, I never saw him put in the work that he did and the amount of suffering he endured to get to the point where he was, I reflected on myself and my thoughts,  they were selfish and self-centered, only adding fuel to my foreseeable depression. My desire in those times was for the world to stop moving and instead wait for me, but now I had realized that for the world to stop for me just like how it stopped for my brother, I would have to put in the same work that he put in. Finally, Bake the Rice cake for the next 45 minutes, rotating the pan, then transfer it to a wire rack and let it cool. Although the sticky rice treat is tough and resistant making it a struggle to eat, it’s all worth it in the end once you taste the sweetness/savoriness of the cake.