•Detail includes facts, observations, and incidents used to develop a subject and impart voice. Specific details refer to fewer things than general descriptions, thereby creating a precise mental picture.
•Detail brings life and color to description, focusing the reader’s attention and bringing the reader into the scene.
•Because detail encourages readers to participate in the text, use of detail influences readers’ views of the topic, the setting, the narrator, and the author. Detail shapes reader attitude by focusing attention: the more specific the detail, the greater the focus on the object described.
Consider: Gawain is speaking on the third day of the hunting/ temptation game. "I shall first fulfill our formal agreement/ which we fixed in words when the drink flowed freely."/ He clasps him tight and kisses him three times/ with as much emotion as a man could muster.
— Fitt III, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight
Discuss:
What affect does it have when Gawain states "when the drink flowed freely"?
Why would (or how could) that detail be important in this scene?
2. What affect does the statement "with as much emotion as a man could muster" have on the reading? Does Gawain want to kiss the other person?
Apply: Write a sentence playing with the last line. What other expressions could one write that would demonstrate different feelings the kiss could take in this scene? Share and discuss the effect of the changes on the text's meaning.
Consider: Whenever he was so fortunate as to have near him a hare that had been kept too long, or a meat pie made with rancid butter, he gorged himself with such violence that his veins swelled, and the moisture broke out on his forehead.
— Thomas Babington Macaulay, “Samuel Johnson”
Discuss:
1. What effect does the detail (the spoiled hare, the rancid butter, the swollen veins, the sweaty forehead) have on the reader?
2. How would the meaning of the sentence be changed by ending it after himself?
Apply: Write a sentence describing someone with disgusting eating habits. It must be one, correct sentence; and it must contain at least three vivid details.
Consider: An old man, Don Tomasito, the baker, played the tuba. When he blew into the huge mouthpiece, his face would turn purple and his thousand wrinkles would disappear as his skin filled out.
— Alberto Alvaro Rios, “The Iguana Killer”
Discuss:
The first sentence is a general statement. How does the second sentence enrich and intensify the first?
2. Contrast the second sentence with the following:
When he blew the tuba, his face turned purple and his cheeks puffed out.
Which sentence more effectively expresses an attitude toward Tomasito? What is that attitude and how is it communicated?
Apply: Describe someone jumping over a puddle. Your first sentence should be general, stating the action simply. Your second sentence should clarify and intensify the action through detail. Share your sentence with a partner.
Consider:
CHARLEY (to WILLY): Why must everybody like you? Who liked J. P. Morgan? Was he impressive? In a Turkish bath he’d look like a butcher. But with his pockets on he was very well liked. Now listen, Willy, I know you don’t like me, and nobody can say I’m in love with you, but I’ll give you a job because – just for the hell of it, put it that way. Now what do you say?
— Arthur Miller, Death of a Salesman
Discuss:
1..Who was J. P. Morgan? What is a Turkish bath? What picture comes to mind when someone is said to look like a butcher? How do these details contribute to the point Charley is trying to make?
2. How would the passage be different if Charley said J. P. Morgan would look like a baker in a Turkish bath?
Apply: Think of someone famous and powerful. Use detail to create an unflattering but accurate description of the physical appearance of this famous person. Model your description on Miller’s description of J. P. Morgan. Share your description with a partner.
Consider: To those who saw him often he seemed almost like two men: one the merry monarch of the hunt and banquet and procession, the friend of children, the patron of every kind of sport; the other the cold, acute observer of the audience chamber or the Council, watching vigilantly, weighing arguments, refusing except under the stress of great events to speak his own mind.
— Winston Churchill, “King Henry VIII,” Churchill’s History of the English-Speaking Peoples
Discuss:
1. Churchill draws attention to the contrasting sides of Henry VIII through detail. How is the impact of this sentence strengthened by the order of the details’ presentation?
2. What is Churchill’s attitude toward Henry? What specific details reveal this attitude?
Apply: Think of someone you know who has two strong sides to his/her personality. Using Churchill’s sentence as a model, write a sentence which captures – through detail – these two sides. Share your sentence with a partner.
Consider: The truck lurched down the goat path, over the bridge and swung south toward El Puerto. I watched carefully all that we left behind. We passed Rosie's house and at the clothesline right at the edge of the cliff there was a young girl hanging out brightly colored garments. She was soon lost in the furrow of dust the truck raised.
— Rudolfo Anyha, Bless Me, Ultima
Discuss:
1.Write the words that provide specific detail and contribute to the power of the passage.
2. Contrast the third sentence with:
We passed Rosie's house and saw a girl hanging out the clothes.
Explain the difference in impact.
Apply: Rewrite the passage eliminating the specific detail. How does the elimination of the detail change the meaning of the passage?
Consider: He went on till he came to the first milestone, which stood in the bank, half-way up a steep hill. He rested his basket on top of the stone, placed his elbows on it, and gave way to do a convulsive twitch, which was worse than sob, because it was so hard and so dry.
— Thomas Hardy, The Mayor of Casterbridge
Discuss:
1.How do the details in this passage prepare you for the convulsive twitch at the end of the passage?
2. This passage does not describe the character's face at all. What effect does this lack of detail have on the reader?
Apply: Plan a pantomime of the scene described in the passage. After several people have performed the pantomime discuss the facial expressions used. What similarities and differences occurred. How do these expressions relate to the detail in the passage?
Consider: The dog stood up and growled like a lion, stiff-standing hackles, teeth uncovered as he lashed up his fury for the charge. Tea Cake split the water like an otter, opening his knife as he dived. The dog raced down the back-bone of the cow to the attack and Janie screamed and slipped far back on the tail of the cow, just out of reach of the dog's angry jaws.
— Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God
Discuss:
Which details reveal that the dog has rabies? What effect do these details have on the reader?
Contrast the details used to describe Tea Cake (the male protagonist) and Janie (the female protagonist). What do these details reveal about the author's attitude toward these two characters?
Apply: Think of two contrasting characters. Write a sentence for each showing their reaction to a fight. Do not explain the different reactions; instead, show the different reactions through the use of detail.
Consider:
MRS. VENABLE: … and the sand all alive, all alive, as the hatched sea-turtles made their dash for the sea, while the birds hovered and swooped to attack and hovered and—swooped to attack! They were diving down on the hatched sea-turtles, turning them over to expose their soft undersides, tearing the undersides open and rending and eating their flesh.
— Tennessee Williams, Suddenly Last Summer
Discuss:
Williams uses the repetition of detail in three places in the passage. Write the three repeated details and decide whether the repetition enhances or detracts from the overall effect of the passage.
What is Mrs. Venable's attitude toward the scene she describes? Which details reveal this attitude?
Apply: Write a description of a sporting event. Emphasize some violent or extreme action by repeating at least two vivid details. Try to create a feeling of revulsion through your choice of details.
Consider: If my mother was in a singing mood, it wasn't so bad. She would sing about hard times, bad times, and somebody-done-gone-and-left me times. But her voice was so sweet and her singing-eyes so melty I found myself longing for those hard times, yearning to be grown without "a thin di-I-ime to my name." I looked forward to the delicious time when "my man" would leave me, when I would "hate to see that evening sun go down..." 'cause then I would know' my man has left this town." Misery colored by the greens and blues in my mother's voice took all of the grief right out of the words and left me with a conviction that pain was not only endurable, it was sweet.
— Toni Morrison, The Bluest Eye
Discuss:
Why are parts of the passage in quotes? What do the quoted details add to the passage?
Which details contribute to the conclusion that pain is sweet? Select "sweet" details (words and phrases) and "pain" details (words and pharses) that show how Morrison sets up this oxymoron. It may help to create a T-chart placing the "sweet" details next to the "pain" details.
Apply: Think of a paradoxical feeling such as sweet pain, healthful illness, or frightening comfort; then make a chart listing two details for each side of the paradox.
Consider: About suffering they were never wrong,/ The Old Masters: how well they understood/ Its human position; how it takes place/ While someone else is eating or opening a window or just walking dully along;
— W.H. Arden, "Musee des Beaux Arts"
Discuss:
Suffering is a general term. What is a general term that sums up the detail in the last line of the stanza?
Compare the last line of the stanza with the phrase:
While someone else is not suffering.
Why is Auden's line more effective?
Apply: Substitute the word laziness for suffering in line one of the poem. Now rewrite the last line to complete the following:
While someone else is ________________________ or ________________________ or ___________________.
Your new line should give details about the opposite condition of laziness. Use Arden's line as a model or mentor. Be prepared to share the new lines.
Consider: Under the hard, tough cloak of the struggle for existence in which money and enormous white refrigerators and shining, massive, brutally-fast cars and fine, expensive clothing had ostensibly overwhelmed the qualities of men that were good and gentle and just, there still beat a heart of kindness and patience and forgiveness.
— John Okada, No-No Boy
Discuss:
What does Okada's choice of detail reveal about his attitude toward money?
How would the elimination of "and enormous white refrigerators and shining, massive, brutally-fast cars and fine, expensive clothing" modify the meaning and effectiveness of the sentence? Consider the ideas by creating a T-chart. Put your ideas of what the poem means by money and people into the chart to demonstrate your understanding.
Apply: Choose a general noun then list three concrete noun phrases that reflect your opinion of the general noun. For example, Okada uses "money" as a general noun. He then expresses his opinion of money with detailed noun phrases: "enormous white refrigerators" "shining, massive, brutally-fast cars" and "fine expensive clothing."
Consider: I rounded the hut and saw a man's dead body sprawling in the mud. He was an Indian, a black Dravidian coolie, almost naked, and he could not have been dead many minutes. The people said that the elephant had come suddenly upon him round the corner of the hut, caught him with its trunk, put its foot on his back and ground him into the earth. This was the rainy season and the ground was soft, and his face had scored a trench a foot deep and a couple of yards long. He was lying on his belly with arms crucified and head sharply twisted to one side. His face was coated with mud, the eyes wide open, the teeth bared and grinning with an expression of unendurable agony.
— George Orwell, "Shooting an Elephant"
Discuss:
What is the author's attitude towards the coolie's death? What details in the passage reveal this attitude?
Examine the last sentence of this paragraph. How would it have affected the overall impact had Orwell written, his eyes wide open, his teeth bared and grinning...?
Apply: Think of an event that you have personally witnessed which horrified you. Your job is to describe that event and evoke the horror. Do not state or explain that you were horrified. Instead, use detail to describe the event and reveal your attitude. Be prepared to share your description with the class.
Consider: I rounded the hut and saw a man's dead body sprawling in the mud. He was an Indian, a black Dravidian coolie, almost naked, and he could not have been dead many minutes. The people said that the elephant had come suddenly upon him round the corner of the hut, caught him with its trunk, put its foot on his back and ground him into the earth. This was the rainy season and the ground was soft, and his face had scored a trench a foot deep and a couple of yards long. He was lying on his belly with arms crucified and head sharply twisted to one side. His face was coated with mud, the eyes wide open, the teeth bared and grinning with an expression of unendurable agony.
— Cristina Garcia, Dreaming in cuban
Discuss:
The narrator details the blues of the landscape and the blues of her grandmother (Abuela), What connection is revealed by this juxtaposition of images?
Why is the last blue in the passage a vanishing blue?
Apply: Choose a color and describe a scene using at least three varieties of that color. Try to mix details of the landscape and people.
Consider: How fine it is to enter some old town, walled and turreted, just at approach of nightfall, or to come to some straggling village, with the lights streaming through the surrounding gloom; and then, after inquiring for the best entertainment that the place affords, to "take one's ease at one's inn!"
—William Hazlitt, "On Going a Journey"
Discuss:
What details support the generalization, "how fine it is"?
What feelings are evoked by the details of the town (old, walled, turreted)? How does this selection of detail communicate Hazlitt's attitude toward the town?
Apply: Imagine going to a motel after a long day on the road. The motel is the only place to sleep in town, and the next town is 200 miles away. The motel is old and dirty; your room is shabby and dark. Write a brief passage which expresses your attitude toward this room.
Consider: She was wearing her usual at-home vesture.... It consisted mostly of a hoary midnight-blue Japanese kimono. She almost invariably wore it through the apartment during the day. With its many occultish-looking folds, it also served as the repository for the paraphernalia of a very heavy cigarette smoker and an amateur handyman; two oversized pockets had been added at the hips, and they usually contained two or three packs of cigarettes, several match folders, a screwdriver, a claw-end hammer, a Boy Scout knife that had once belong to one of her sons, and an enamel faucet handle or two, plus an assortment of screws, nails, hinges, and ball-bearing casters—all of which tended to make Mrs. Glass chink faintly as she moved about in her large apartment.
—J. D. Salinger, Franny and Zoey
Discuss:
What does the detail in the passage reveal about Mrs. Glass's character?
How would the fourth sentence (With its many...) be different without the detail that follows the semicolon?
Apply: Sketch a picture of Mrs. Glass. Include in your sketch the details from the passage that you think are most expressive of the author's attitude toward Mrs. Glass.
Consider: In fact right behind her Gabriel could be seen piloting Ferddy Malins across the landing. The latter, a young man of about forty, was of Gabriel's size and build, with very round shoulders. His face was fleshy and pallid, touched with color only at the thick hanging lobes of his ears and at the wide wings of his nose. He had coarse features, a blunt nose, a convex and receding brow, tumid and protruded lips. His heavy-lidded eyes and the disorder of his scanty hair made him look sleepy.
—James Joyce, "The Dead," Dubliners
Discuss:
Joyce uses many specific details to describe Freddy's physical appearance. Create a list of details (short quotes) about Freddy's appearance. Draw an eye next to objective details (making an observation), and put a checkmark next evaluative details (making a judgement).
What is Joyce's attitude towards Freddy? Which specific details reveal this attitude?
Apply: Write a paragraph describing a character's personality by describing his/her physical traits.. Do not make any direct statements about his/her personality or character. Instead, use detail about appearance to capture character.
Consider: We went upstairs, through period bedrooms swathed in rose and lavender silk and vivid with new flowers, through dressing rooms and poolrooms, and bathrooms, with sunken baths—intruding into one chamber where a disheveled man in pajamas was doing liver exercises on the floor.
—F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
Discuss:
List three general adjectives that you could use to describe the house. Explain the connection between the detail in Fitzgerald's sentence and the adjectives you have chosen.
How does the "disheveled man in pajamas" help create the mood and atmosphere of the house?
Apply: Rewrite the sentence eliminating the specific detail. Discuss the change in impact and meaning.
Consider: My grandfather took me to the back of his house, to a room that my mother said was private, that she had yanked me away from when I once tried to look. It had a bead curtain at the door and we passed through it and the beads rustled like tall grass. The room was dim, lit by candles, and it smelled of incense, and my grandfather stood me before a little shrine with flowers and a smoking incense bowl and two brass candlesticks and between them a photo of a man in a Chinese mandarin hat.
—Robert Olen Butler, "Mr. Green," A Good Scent from a Strange Mountain
Discuss:
The first sentence states that the room is private. The author then uses specific detail to illustrate the privacy. How does the detail define and focus the privacy of the room.
Most of the passage is filled with detail describing the room. Which detail do you think adds the most to the impact of the passage? Why?
Apply: Write a sentence in which you use an action to characterize someone in a state of loneliness.
Consider:
The wild gander leads his flock through the cool night,
Ya-honk he says, and sounds it down to me like an invitation,
The pert may suppose it meaningless, but I listening close,
Find its purpose and place up there toward the wintry sky.
The sharp-hoof'd moose of the north, the cat on the house-sill, the chickadee, the prairie-dog
The litter of the grunting sow as they tug at her
The brood of the turkey-hen and she with her half-spread wings,
I see in them and myself the same old law
—Walt Whitman, "Song of Myself," Leaves of Grass
Discuss:
What is the conclusion in the last line? Which details in the passage support this conclusion?
The animals in these stanzas are specific and detailed. In contrast, the ambience (the cool night, the wintry sky) is more general. What attitude is revealed by this difference?
Apply: Rewrite the passage, describing the night sky in great detail and the animals in general terms. Be prepared to share your rewritten passage with the class and discussing how the meaning may have shifted.
Consider: The day has been hot and sultry. The sun has set behind great banks of clouds which are piling up on the northwestern horizon. Now that the light is beginning to fade, the great masses of cumulus, which are slowly gathering and rising higher toward the zenith, are lit up by pale flashes of sheet-lightning.
—W. J. Holland, "Sugaring for Moths," The Moth Book
Discuss:
What are the details that contribute to the reader's mental picture of the clouds? List these details. Consider explaining the significance of the order of the presentation of the details.
What is sheet-lightning? Why is it more effective to say sheet-lightning than lightning?
Write three sentences that vividly describe a country scene. In your description, use at least two details drawn from the world of science. Use your science book if you need to.
Apply: Write three sentences that vividly describe a country scene. In your description, use at least two details drawn from the world of science. Use a reference book if you need to. Remember it is better to name a specific tree (ex. Sugar Maple) that just using the general word tree.