Parklands 3

What does social emotional learning look like in your classroom?

We’re passionate about empowering students to manage emotions.  When a student is having a moment, we describe what we are seeing and have the student repeat.  When they are getting mad, we give them the time to be mad and make sure we check back in. We always ask (when someone is having a tantrum) “do you understand why I asked you to take a second?”  If not, we explain it to them. 

We encourage students to be problem solvers.  Students can have a spectrum of problems - external, internal, peer to peer, or teacher to student.  We want them to think: “what is going on and what are ways I can fix it?” We have the Talk it Out Square for navigating conflict.  We will model it between ourselves when we are having an issue. For our age group, concrete foundations are best for learning so we have the square, but eventually they can do it by themselves.  

We also use repetition to encourage and empower - in our class, we start each morning out with exercise and movement and end the morning with yoga and calming.  We practice deep breathing exercises every day. We add in our affirmation every day: “I love me, my family loves me, my teachers and my friends love me.  When you know you are loved, you can make good choices”.  

Finally, throughout the day, we highlight friends who are doing kind things for each other.  At this point in the year, they are now ready to show us without prompting: “oh Ms. Gao, look, I shared with my friend”.  

Can you speak to the value that SEL has in your classroom?  Why is it important to you?

It is really important for us to have students manage their emotions because when they can self-regulate they can access the learning at a deeper level.  We want them to know it is okay to have emotions and have the freedom of expression, but know what is appropriate and inappropriate when expressing.   We want them to think, “how can I let it out, then reset and try again?”  

It’s also about giving each other second chances instead of always being upset with a friend or not wanting to play with certain friends.  My friend may have just hurt me, but because we can express how we are feeling, we can apologize or solve the problem another way.

What does your teaching team do to ensure all kids are growing their social emotional skills?

One thing that makes SEL successful is that it is not one isolated moment, it is not just one lesson.  The way we are all the time with our students helps them grow socially and emotionally.

We are consistent in the language that we use.  We are always modeling that it’s okay to be angry, but there are the things that you can do to not feel that way anymore.  We are really big on practicing in the moment: taking deep breaths, balling your hands up and releasing them. Even when they are heightened, they still watch us when they are mad.  One of us will start breathing and they will start breathing and catch their breath even if they are crying.  

When students make mistakes or are upset, we use words like “take a break” or “let me help you help your body” or “come sit by me”.  It shows them that they are not in trouble, this is not a punishment.  We even say “you are not in trouble, this is not time out”.  We use a timer to relax, we discuss what happened, and then give them opportunities to come back and try again.  

We take a lot of pictures of students doing positive actions: smiling, hugging, sharing, helping.  We post them around the classroom and add quotes about what children have actually said.  This provides reminders of positive interactions and makes the classroom feel warm.  

We are also intentional about narrating the small wins.  If a student is having a hard day and has made some mistakes, we still say things like “thank you for laying down even though you’re really mad”.  It shows our students that we see you’re upset, and we see you trying and we’re proud of you for that.

What advice do you have for teaching teams who want to improve their SEL practices?

The first thing that comes to mind is to exercise patience and to try to be an exemplary model of what that looks like.  For our classroom, we work really hard to not raise our voices; even when we feel like we may need to get loud to get attention - we immediately go to warm tones, even singing tones.  Even if that feels silly or you are naturally loud, we say (to other teachers) “try it”. You don’t have to yell.  You can get close and serious and use a warm, relaxing tone.  Say something like: “Hey I noticed that you’re crying, that’s okay.  Can you take a deep breath with me? I’m going to set the timer and then we can solve the problem”.  You don’t want to respond to a mistake in a way that will cause trauma.  

Work together with your co-teacher even if you have differing philosophies.  Know what works for you and find your balance with each other.  For example, I (Ms. Gow) am a feeler - I’m okay with giving and getting hugs.  If you are okay with those things, doing small things like giving hugs and rubbing backs is great way to build rapport.  I do that regardless of the student’s day to show them that even if the morning was crazy, you are still loved and cared for.  Ms. Vinson isn’t a big hugger, but she loves fist bumps and the kids know that and are always ready to give them. Ms. Vinson uses words and Ms. Gao gives the touch, but the one thing that is the same is that the entire classroom is really big on joy.  I encourage her in her lane and she encourages me.  

Make sure to start the day on a positive note.  We start the day with a social emotional umbrella.  We have a sign outside of the classroom that asks how students want to be greeted that day.  No matter what the day looks like, we start the day joyous and happy - it is SO important. A kid who had a really bad day the day before, they may come to the classroom like “I’m not so sure”.  And even if as the teacher, I am not so sure about how they will do today, I don’t let them know that.  Being kind constantly, checking in with each other.  Parallel talking - modeling joy between each other. It trickles down into the kids - if I see my teachers happy, why wouldn’t I be happy?  I feel like lots of teachers do this, but its just the commitment and consistency. With the co-lead model, it sometimes feel like “you do this and I do that”, but sometimes we sit there together so they see us working together and joyous doing that.