Tips when speaking to children about death.

Post date: Sep 25, 2014 5:13:51 PM

Tips

Children need to learn how to mourn. They need to remember; to be touched by the feelings generated by their memories. They need to mourn over the small losses, such as animals, in order to deal better with larger, closer losses of people.

Children need to be informed about a death. If they aren’t told, but see that adults are upset, they may invent their own explanations and even blame themselves.

Children need to understand the finality of death, because abstract thinking is difficult for them, they may misunderstand if adults say that a person or animal “went away” or “went to sleep.” If you believe in an after life and want to tell your child about it, it is important to emphasize they won’t see the person or animal again on earth.

Children need to be allowed to show their feelings: to cry, become angry or even laugh. They need opportunities to work out their feelings and deal with their perceptions of death by talking, reading books or expressing themselves through art.

Children need to feel confident that their questions will be answered honestly and not avoided. Adults should take their cues from the children and answer only what they ask.

Children need to say good-bye to the deceased by participating in viewings and/or funeral, if only for a few minutes. No child is too young to participate in these activities.

Children need reassurance that the adults in their lives will take care of themselves and probably won’t die until after the children are grown. However, children need to know that everybody will die someday.