Monmouth soldier, a `great kid,' dies in Iraq
West Point graduate was standout athlete

The Star-Ledger Archive

COPYRIGHT © The Star-Ledger 2005

Date: 2005/11/08

By MARY JO PATTERSON

STAR-LEDGER STAFF

A 25-year-old West Point graduate who was a standout athlete and student leader during his high school days at Monmouth Regional High School in Tinton Falls was killed Friday in Iraq while leading a security platoon. Capt. James M. Gurbisz was one of two soldiers killed when an improvised explosive device detonated near their Humvee, the Department of Defense said yesterday. He was the 54th soldier from New Jersey, or with close ties to the state, to die in Iraq.  Gurbisz, who was married, was assigned to the 3rd Infantry Division in Fort Stewart, Ga."It's every parent's fear," his father, Kenneth Gurbisz, said last night of the moment Friday when he and his wife saw three men in military uniforms at their front door in Eatontown. "I'm a veteran, so I knew." His son had been in Iraq for 10 months and was expected to come home in January, said Gurbisz, a teacher at an alternative high school. He and his wife also have a daughter. The older Gurbisz was a warrant officer in the Army and a helicopter pilot in Vietnam.  He last spoke to his son on Columbus Day and received his last e-mail precisely one week before he died."His mom worried a lot. I did too," Gurbisz said. But their son seemed fine when they talked, he said."He was doing fine. Jimmy was very committed to what they were doing. He and his troops believed in what they were doing. The platoon bond was very strong," he said.  As a child, James Gurbisz used to go with his father to the Armed Forces Day at nearby Fort Monmouth every May.  "He was very inquisitive. I think he was interested in the military his whole life," his father said.  Still, Kenneth Gurbisz was surprised when his son decided he wanted to attend the U.S. Military Academy at West Point.  "At the time, he was being recruited by several Ivy League schools to play football. But one day he called me at work and said, `Dad, I've made a commitment to go to West Point.'" he said. "I said, `We'll talk when I get home.'  "But he was always a very disciplined person. He had made his decision. That was Jimmy," he said.  In high school, Gurbisz was captain of his football team and co-captain of the baseball team. At West Point, though, he began playing rugby and became a star player.  Although he originally wanted to be an infantry officer, a knee injury caused him to switch to the transportation corps, his father said. He had surgery toward the end of his infantry training, he said.  Gurbisz married his wife, Victoria, in December 2002, his father said. She was his high school sweetheart, said Michael Luccarelli, director of athletics and student activities at Monmouth Regional. "He was the all-American kid that any parent would be proud of," Luccarelli said last night. "A real solid boy, academically, physically, with three letters in baseball and three letters in football."  Luccarelli said Gurbisz was the first student he has known to die in the Iraq war. "It's a pure tragedy, something like this would happen to a great kid. It's awfully dangerous over there," he said.  Word of Gurbisz's death spread quickly through the community, and by the weekend most of the administrators and teachers at Monmouth Regional had heard the news, said Bob Merola, his former football coach.  "He was a great, great kid, and a hard worker," Merola said. "It's definitely a shock. We send a lot of kids around here to the military, but I think he's the first one at the school to pass away."  Another former coach, Joey Pingitore, remembered a minor school legend involving the fallen soldier: When Gurbisz was a senior, he gave one of his gridiron coaches a black eye. Playing defensive line opposite the coach during one practice, Gurbisz read a play correctly, but ended up pushing his shoulder pad into the face of the startled coach. "Jim was to `stay home' and not get faked out. He wasn't faked out," Pingitore said.  "It was great," he recalled last night, remembering his former player's enthusiasm for sport. "He was very apologetic about it. We used to laugh about it."  Eatontown Mayor Gerald Tarantolo said he had known Gurbisz since he was a child.  "I'm saddened by what has happened," Tarantolo said. "He had a great life ahead of him, a very promising career. I feel for him and his family." Tomorrow, the mayor said, the borough council will observe a moment of silence in his memory.  

An Uplifting Tale | Fan-tastic Journey
JUNE 21st (Father's Day) 2009 Asbury Park Press

I really enjoy coming upon uplifting stories like the one involving Monmouth Regional centerfielder C.J. Pratt. And I love writing about them. Here’s the column that ran in today’s paper. He’s a really nice kid, and I hope thing work out well for him at Montclair State, and for his sister, Kia, as well.

Charles Pratt Sr. was the reason C.J., short for Charles Jr., fell in love with baseball, introducing his son to the sport in the backyard of their Tinton Falls home when he was just three. So as he sat in his father’s hospital room last Nov. 23 watching football, thoughts of what the future might hold had to overwhelming.

He figures he remembers his mother, Laverne, better than most 7-year-olds, which is how old C.J. Pratt was when she died of leukemia. And two days after the Jets improbably win in Tennessee, he lost his father as well, with the cancer that spread from the kidney claiming his role model and best friend at age 58.

This is usually the point in the story where the teenager acts out/drops out/checks out. Just fill in the blank.

But every so often it goes a different way. A support group forms and tightens ranks. A resolve to move forward surfaces. And then life progresses, albeit with a heavy heart.

Pratt received his diploma at Monmouth Regional’s graduation ceremony Friday night at Brookdale Community College. In attendance was Gwen Blake, his father’s long-time girlfriend and fiancée, who left her home in Irvington and moved in with Pratt and his sister, Kia, a junior, to keep the family together.

Also on hand were many of the teachers and administrators who opened their hearts and extended a helping hand, while never lowering their standards. And the coaches and teammates who rallied around one of their own, both on and off the field.

“”Excuses are like dandelions. They’re all over the place for a kid,’’ said Ted Jarmusz, a guidance counselor at Monmouth Regional and the school’s baseball coach. “”(C.J.) had an acceptable excuse but he never used it once. He made sure he did what he was supposed to do and had a quality school year and baseball season, ending with graduation.’’

And on Father’s Day, Pratt, a first-team All-Shore centerfielder headed to Montclair State, will certainly reflect back on the man who used baseball as a metaphor for life.

“”If I wasn’t hitting, he would always tell me “don’t get mad about it. Try to figure it out, ‘’ Pratt recalled. “”It turned out to be good advice. I’ve had to figure a lot of things out lately.’’

As a teacher at West Side High School in Newark, Blake has seen first-hand the affects of instability at home has on students. Not on her watch, though. She made a promise to Charles Pratt that she would look after his kids, and that’s precisely what she intends to do.

“”To be honest, when Charles asked me I really thought he was going to get better,’’ said Blake.

Except he didn’t. Diagnosed with stage IV cancer in September, he lapsed into a comatose state one night at home. C.J. called 911. He regained consciousness in the hospital but died five days later on Nov. 25, two days before Thanksgiving.

Senior year is supposed to be a time to enjoy the last vestiges of high school. To party with your friends, slack off and look forward to a bright future. Instead, Pratt was forced to grow up, take on more responsibility and watch over his younger sister. All while maintaining his grades, and trying to lead the Golden Falcons baseball team.

How’d he do?

You already know he graduated and is going to college. His sister came in to serve as the baseball team’s manager, which eased her older brother’s mind and kept her close to the only immediate family she had left. And all he did on the field was hit .437 and steal 26 bases. At one point he hit .600 over a three week stretch, as the Golden Falcons resurrected their season.

But something was always missing.

Gone was the voice of encouragement from the guy pacing up and down the leftfield line beyond the fence. And the self-styled batting instructor/sports psychologist who was always available for a post-game session.

“”Every time we played I thought about him. It was rough in the beginning,’’ Pratt admitted. “”In the past, the game wasn’t over until we had talked about it and gone over everything. This year, the game was over and that was it. It was over.’’

The crack was there, but C.J. Pratt never fell through. Neither he, nor those around him, would allow it to happen. And somewhere in there is a lesson about how the influence of a father and the support of a community can make all the difference in the world.

“”(C.J.) has always had to work harder at school, and for this to be thrown on top of it, that was a formidable challenge,’’ added Jarmusz. “”When you lose somebody who was a role model, and encourager – his father was like a cheerleader, always encouraging him to do the right thing – the seeds he sowed before passing probably got him through this.’’

Steve Edelson column on Monmouth Regional’s Mike LaFrance

May 29, 2010 • 7:22 pm

Mike LaFrance Is A Player At Monmouth Regional Who Was Involved In A Horrific Car Accident, Was In A Coma For Three Weeks And Last Night Received The Rich Veth Award At The Monmouth County Tournament Final

TINTON FALLS … Baseball’s one of those pastimes with the ability to get under your skin

and become part of your being. It can consume your thoughts and dreams, and in some rare

instances provide hope at a time when faith is hard to come by.

Just ask Mike LaFrance. As he gazed out from the dugout beyond the infield diamond and the massive expanse of green to the black outfield fence, with signs commemorating Monmouth Regional’s

achievements over the years, it became clear how special this place is to him. “”My goal was always to get back on this field,” he said. The 11 innings he threw for the Falcons as a senior were the most important tossed at the Shore this season. His 5.94 ERA was less a statistical measure of performance than

it was a symbol of an incredible accomplishment.

Ted Jarmusz watched in amazement when LaFrance, starting to emerge from a three-week

coma following a 2008 car accident so violent he was thrown 75 feet from the backseat

even though he was wearing a seatbelt, held a baseball with a circle change-up grip when

his coach commanded the pitch in the hospital, one of the first signs of his recovery

from massive brain trauma. And Jarmusz, also LaFrance’s guidance counselor, was there to embrace him when he came off the mound after his first inning back this season.

“”It truly is a miracle,” said Jarmusz.

LaFrance’s mother, Theresa, at every game this season, witnessed the reaction of the

crowd the first time he pitched in a home game, part of the emotional healing process as

her son struggles with the loss of his close friend, Petros Dimitroulakos, seated beside

him that fateful night. “”It was all about his re-emergence into some kind of normalcy that day,” she noted.

On Saturday night, LaFrance received the Rich Veth Award for overcoming adversity, named in memory of the late, legendary Middletown North coach, at the Monmouth County Tournament final at FirstEnergy Park in Lakewood. As he reflected on his 18-month journey last week, LaFrance gently spun the light blue plastic band adorning his right wrist, with Dimitroulakos’ name, the date, Nov. 27, 2008, and the words “”Live your life.”

“”I think of him every single day,” he said.

LaFrance remembers nothing about the accident, nor does he have any recollection of Thanksgiving dinner with his family that day. The last thing his mind can conjure up is serving as a cheerleader at the annual Powder Puff game, the school’s girls’ touch football showdown between the seniors and juniors, several weeks earlier. When he awoke he was in Childrens Specialized Hospital in New Brunswick after a three-week stint at Jersey Shore University Medical Center in Neptune, where he was airlifted and placed on life support in the immediate aftermath of the accident. In addition to the brain injury, there was a punctured lung, a broken clavicle and fractured ribs. He shattered the eye orbital and cheek bone on the left side of his

face, now held together with the help of two titanium plates. Slowly, LaFrance’s father, Mike, a former quarterback at Ramapo College, began revealing details of the accident in the hospital. And when the time was right, he told him about Dimitroulakos, a student at Red Bank Catholic. “”Mike kind of knew he was in a car accident, but he thought we were in it with him,” said Theresa LaFrance. “”My husband eventually told him about Petros. The next day the psychologist came to talk to him, and he told her he did not want to be depressed or feel sorry for himself, because Petros would have wanted him to push on. He felt there was a reason he survived.”

LaFrance had to be taught everything, from how to walk to the basic building blocks of learning. He struggled with things like the alphabet, and regaining his eye-hand coordination during his out-patient rehabilitation after returning home. He was home schooled, even after he returned to Monmouth Regional last March, in an effort to get him back up to grade level. He eventually took his SATs and HSPAs, and will graduate with his class on June 18.

“”I was so happy to get back to school,” he said. “”I told my mom this is the only time I’ll say this in my life, “I actually can’t wait to go back to school.’‚” It turns out that wasn’t correct. He’s counting down to Move-in Day, which is Aug. 28, at Kutztown University. LaFrance has gone back and read accounts of the accident in Colts Neck, and its aftermath. The driver, Matthew Gross of Tinton Falls, received a five-year sentence for vehicular homicide and aggravated assault earlier this year. Ultimately, it was baseball that helped him move forward. He began working out, throwing and hitting, at Frozen Ropes Training Center in Tinton Falls last fall. He showed up for the first day of practice on March 5, and eventually

took the hill for the first time in a scrimmage at Lacey.

“”As I came off the field, (Jarmusz) hugged me and said “It’s good to have you back,’‚” he recalled. “”I think my teammates were all really shocked I got out of the inning that fast. One of our captains, Mike Rott, said “LaFrance, welcome back to the team.’ It was really nice.

“”I’ve lost a lot of speed on my pitches, but that doesn’t really matter. As long as I’m on that mound again, I’m happy.”

So if you have any doubts about the healing power of baseball, both physically and psychologically, Mike LaFrance is your case study. His mom went so far as to send a picture of him to the nurses at Jersey Shore, who were so instrumental in his recovery. Added Theresa LaFrance: “”I told them, “if anybody feels like there’s no hope, show them Michael’s picture and tell them his story.’‚”

ednote Stephen Edelson is an Asbury Park Press staff writer. Reach him at

sedelson@app.com. Also, check out his blog, Fan-tastic Journey, at www.app.com/sports.

Southeastern outfielder Dan Valerio takes his swings in the batting cages during practice on Saturday afternoon at Lewis-Clark State College in Lewiston. By virtue of winning its first-round game, the Fire had Saturday off but return to action at 3 p.m. Monday in Game 11 against Faulkner.

Tribune/Pete Caster

Banner season a tribute to ailing father

Dan Valerio's dad suffered a serious stroke earlier this year.
The SEU slugger has dedicated his record-breaking season to him

By STEPHAN WIEBE FOR THE TRIBUNE

https://shoresportsnetwork.com/playing-with-perspective-valerio-thrives-in-honor-of-his-dad/

Dan Valerio had just wrapped up a February baseball practice at Florida's Southeastern University when he received a call that every child dreads. His mom told him that his dad, Dan Valerio Sr., was rushed to the hospital after suffering a stroke at the family's home in Tinton Falls, N.J., and was battling for his life. The stroke left Dan Sr. paralyzed on the left side of his body. He is currently still in recovery.

After the incident, Valerio dedicated his season to his dad, who introduced him to baseball when he was 4 years old, served as his coach in T-ball and guided him all through Little League, high-school ball and college, when Valerio decided to transfer to Southeastern from North Carolina Central last fall.

The junior left fielder has racked up a historic season, setting a single-season program record with 79 RBI, which is tied for fourth-best in the NAIA. He leads Southeastern with 92 hits and is second on the squad with an .395 average. Valerio's offensive explosion helped propel the Fire to a 55-7 record this season and a first-round win in the Avista NAIA World Series. The fifth-seeded Fire beat fourth-seeded Oklahoma City 8-3 Friday and will play their next winners' bracket game Monday. "Ever since I was 4 years old when I started playing, my dad has been through the whole journey with me," said Valerio, while taking a break from Saturday batting practice at Harris Field on an off day for the Fire. "Starting from T-ball, he was my coach, to putting me in front of the best trainers, the best coaches, all through travel ball to get opportunities paying for all my stuff, all my training. "For me coming out here and playing baseball this season for him, it's just so much motivation."

Growing up, Valerio was never the best player on the field. He hit a measly .260 his junior year of high school at Monmouth Regional High in Tinton Falls, but he never gave up on his dream of playing college ball. After games, Dan Sr. would pitch to Valerio until both would grow tired and decide to call it day.

"My dad would always throw me BP after games and stuff and we'd always put that extra work in," Valerio said. "He always said 'the cream rises to the top,' and I truly believe that. He preached that to me."

Valerio started his college career at Gloucester County College in New Jersey, leading the team to the NJCAA World Series in 2016 and leading the junior-college ranks in doubles on the season. After two years at Gloucester County, he signed with North Carolina Central, but he burnt himself out with too much baseball training and developed severe anxiety. He took a short break from baseball before joining Southeastern for his junior campaign. Valerio said a big reason for his big bounce-back season, as well as what helps him deal with his father's medical situation, is his Christian faith. It's also partly how he ended up at Southeastern, a private Christian university in Lakeland, Fla. "He's come a long way since the day he stepped in the door," Southeastern coach Adrian Dinkel said. "I'm proud of where he's at. He's come closer to God and his faith has gotten a lot better since he's been here." Valerio said it's still hard being away from his family during this difficult time and even though his father is improving, it's still a struggle back home for his dad, his mom, Carolyn and his younger brother, Michael.

Dan Sr. is still in a rehab facility and does therapy three hours a day as he tries to relearn how to walk and do day-to-day activities. Carolyn works three jobs to help pay the bills and the family has a GoFundMe.com page that has raised nearly $14,000 to help with medical costs. The financial support from family and strangers has been a huge help for the family, Valerio said, because they don't have health insurance.

"By the grace of God, people are so generous with helping my family out," he said.

Playing for his father has given Valerio fuel this season and, he hopes, for the remainder of the World Series. "He watches every game that he can," Valerio said of his father. "Even when he's lying on a bed and can't walk, he's still giving me a lot of motivation. "He's my biggest supporter and my best friend."