may

That was one big FINALLY for Year 3.

I have been waiting for this moment all my life.... for BTS to finally have a comeback this year!

The event is called My Turn - a reference to their non-promotion on BE:tact 2021. It was literally their turn to return on event day. I also had a lot of expectations for that comeback, but that's another story meant for another set of notes.

But if there is one thing I should remember about this event, it is that it had been two months in the making. This is the one I had been working on since March, when we did not even get any memo from the boys and even created a system to implement it, and.. well.. we went on with the original plan.

My Turn had a competitive concept - something new that happened in the MDverse for the very first time. I came up with that for a change. After all, as I was so excited for the boys' return - this year - I only wanted to come up with the best. The absolute best. And a competitive concept seemed fitting. It was a literal game played by artists coming from different backgrounds and musical styles. That gave a fresh new perspective about the industry, as it was research-oriented - for the very first time, I had to count everything - stream count, view count, follower count. That game was played based on each player's quantitative performance, so a player can lose even if it's among the best.

I bravely took on the responsibility of getting all the numbers during a two week tracking period from the day of the event, which turned out to happen on May 21. That was when I realized something I never expected to know about the industry. Everything that we have thought about our favorite artists have always been assumptions. But until I did what I did, I learned that not everything we believed was proven to be true. I have seen them all.. and I was surprised.

Despite its two month implementation and even a system created to supposedly avoid conflict, preparations for this event was anything but easy.

While it was fun and fulfilling, I also experienced some level of hardship. That was nothing new to me. But what I realized was that.... even with the most benevolent concepts, none of the events we did for almost three years had served any real purpose.

I loved doing them, I enjoyed them, it made me learn more about the world.. but.... I was not even sure anymore if I did the right thing.

There was nothing really wrong with what I do, but I don't even know anymore if it's even a good idea. At this point, we were already struggling financially. I did not earn as much as before with my current job, and everyone else were having difficulty. We were still having trouble finding any means to an end. Our situation was becoming worse than before.

I wrote on the very first set of notes that I needed to shape up, but I kept on messing up.

I'm tired of making wrong decisions.

This has to end.

It even reached the point when Cara, a leader doing so well like he started yesterday, nearly left.

I made my decision.

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i love me    ▪︎    me & you    ▪︎    enjoy yourselfsummer notes    ▪︎    to be    ▪︎    full circle    ▪︎    prequel  ▪︎  winter's sequel part 1  ▪︎  winter's sequel part 2