july

I was right. As soon as the boys came back, we got the memo of them returning again on the ninth of July - this time with a new single album. At least I came prepared.

Until even in D-1 I was still unable to predict the concept of their new title track "Permission to Dance", which then turned out to absolutely not fit in any of my ideal comeback standards. For that release, none on their pre-military checklist was ticked unfortunately.

Consequently, the new BE:tact phase was called Summer Live, and it was by far the most externalized activity in Year 3. It was my final and desperate attempt at doing events. In comparison to My Turn, its concept was centered around monetization. It involved live streaming, virtual audience and advertising, and there was also a plan of reviving the 4 Seasons art project.

But all of them still fell through. What we got instead was an unintended Lumiere reunion - most of the lineup were also on the Lumiere lineup.

Despite this, I still gave all my effort to that activity, because I see it as an opportunity to resolve our situation once and for all. There were so many options at the time, but.. as much as I wanted to help, how come I rejected all of them?

I guess I may have a dream already. A dream that is difficult to say what it is.

They say you need to overcome many obstacles if you are really serious with your dream. But I always feel that identifying the dream is already an obstacle in itself. I want to take action but I do not know where to start. But what was even disheartening was that circumstances would not allow me to even do something in the first place. I want to live my life the way I want, but why would I have to be in a position where I cannot even do that?

July 13 came. Exactly 894 days from Cara's first day of leadership, which was also the same duration that it took for Aliza to experience the dissolution. I will keep this only short. There is this thing called the 'two year curse' where most leaders have barely made it past two years; if they do, they cannot without something going wrong. Melody and Aliza fell victim to this, respectively in 2010 and then in 2017.

With that said, I now have to commend Cara for continuing to lead like he only started yesterday. I was so emotional when it happened.

Well.... he survived.