2004 Calendar of Unfortunate Events

1. V.F.D.-related events from the calendar:

    • Birthday of Jacques Snicket, as well as that of his sister. (January 12)
    • Jacques Snicket "taken" and initiated into V.F.D. (February 26)
    • Jacques Snicket, given his first assignment, disguises himself accordingly. (March 18)
    • Alleged date the alleged Baudelaire mansion allegedly burned down. (March 31)
    • Jacques Snicket's disguise discovered. Alternate disguise employed. (April 17)
    • Nine cows arrested by the authorities under the suspicion of involvement with V.F.D. Jacques Snicket, disguised as the tenth cow, escapes on a stolen tractor. (May 13)
    • Jacques Snicket arrives in Paltryville to continue the Baudelaire investigation. (June 26)
    • Jacques Snicket reports his findings to The Daily Punctilio. (July 6)
    • The Daily Punctilio does not publish Jacques Snicket's report. (July 7)
    • V.F.D. declares Jacques Snicket "either missing or on vacation." (August 9)
    • Summer is a good time to take a vacation, but it is always best to tell someone where you are going. (August 10)
    • Summer is dead and Jacques Snicket does not return. V.F.D. changes his status to "missing." (September 23)
    • The remaining Snicket siblings open their investigation into Jacques Snicket's disappearance. (October 10)
    • Jacques Snicket reported murdered. (November 7)
    • Jacques Snicket reported ill. (December 2)
    • Director and screenwriter Gustav Sebald reported missing. (January 4)
    • Gustav Sebald found murdered. Police seek goblins, vampires, realtors, ants, and zombies for questioning. (January 10)
    • Questioning of ants abandoned due to translation problems. (January 11)
    • V.F.D. declares remaining Snicket siblings "either missing or on vacation." (January 27)
    • Very few vacations are scheduled in January. (January 28)

2. Images of the calendar text: