Untitled

By Isaac Werner

蜉I was walking down the road when I saw him, the all-famous detective. He was just walking with his nose in the newspaper. I began walking quickly toward him.

“Sir,” I called. He flung his newspaper on the ground and turned towards me with a dramatic flourish.

“Yes?” he said.

“There’s been a murder on 32^nd Street,” I said breathlessly.

“Yes, I know,” he said. “I’m on my way there.” “Who are you?” the detective asked.

“I’m George,” I said. “You must be Felix. I mean, I didn’t mean to tell you your name, you’re supposed to be an all-famous detective, you know your name. I mean, you are a famous detective, you’re not supposed to be a famous detective, you are one. I know I’m babbling, sorry. Look, I’m just trying to say, you’re amazing,” I babbled.

“You talk way too much,” he said. He started down the road. I hurried after him.

“Here are the facts of the case,” I said. “At nine o’clock, someone knocked on the door. The household nurse answered the door. She got knocked out with a club. When she woke up, her patient, Charles Rubert, was tied in a chair, dead, with a broken nose.”

“Did the housekeeper see the murder?” Felix asked.

“No,” I said.

“Did Charles Rubert already have a broken nose before the night he died?”

“No,” I said.

“What weapon was used?” Felix said.

“To murder Charles Rubert?” I asked.

“Duh,” he said.

“His brain was bashed in, so probably the club the intruder used to knock out the nurse was also the murder weapon.”

“Hmm,” Felix responded.

“32^nd Street is over there,” I said, pointing, “and the house is the one to the right.”

Police were running around outside, shouting and talking amongst themselves. Felix and I walked over to the house. “Hello Felix,” said a police officer, running up to us.

Felix had obviously noticed something, and walked up to the house, ignoring the officer. “Hello Bill,” I said to the officer. “Yo, George,” he replied. Bill walked away, and I hurried after Felix.

Felix was looking closely at a smashed part of the wall. The smashed part was next to the door, but it wasn’t a hole in the wall, just a dent.

“How can I see the nurse who was knocked out?” Felix asked.

“I’ll take you to her,” I said.

“You?”

“Yes, I’m a police officer.”

“You are?”

“Duh.”

“Oh,” he said. “Now, where’s the nurse?”

Ten minutes later, Felix, myself and Bill, the police officer I had talked to earlier, were sitting at a table with the nurse. “The hole in the wall, was it here before tonight?” Felix asked.

“No,” replied the nurse.

“Then you’re a liar,” Felix replied calmly.

“No, I’m not lying,” said the nurse, confused.

“No, you’re lying about not seeing the murder,” said Felix. “You said the club the murderer was using knocked you out before you could see who the murderer was. But the dent in the wall must have been made by a club. Most likely this was because the murderer swung the club at you but missed, and hit the wall instead. It’s a small doorway, so that would have been easy. The other possibility is that for some strange reason, he randomly wacked the wall, which is unlikely. If he missed you, you would have seen him, unless he – or she – travels at the speed of light, which isn’t physically possible. So, who murdered Charles Rubert?”

The nurse burst into tears. “I can’t tell you!” she cried. “He’ll kill everyone I love!”

“So it is a man,” Felix said. “You said he. Now tell me – how did he tell you that he would murder other people?”

“I can’t tell you,” she said.

“It’s either a note, a phone call, a text, or he told you in person. As he may have texted or called you, we will have to take your phone to check back through your messsages. In case it’s an email, we will have to take your computer and check through your emails. In case it’s a note, we will have to search your house to find it and hope you didn’t throw it away, and hope that he didn’t tell you in person,” said Felix. Then his tone softened.

“I’m sorry you had to go through this,” he said. Then his tone hardened again. “You heard what I said, Bill. Carry it out.”

Then he turned and went out of the door, leaving a crying nurse.

One month later, Bill, Felix and myself were sitting in an office. The mystery had not been solved. Not even close. We had no leads and few clues. The nurse had been murdered for giving away clues. I had a list of clues stored away in my drawer. It went like this:

• We have the note used to blackmail the nurse, see page 2.
• We have the fact that the killer when killing victims breaks their noses.
• We have the note left on the nurse’s body when she died, see page 2.

“Let me see the notes the killer left,” Felix said. I showed him the notes. The first one said:

If you tell the police what you know I will kill everyone you love.

The second one said:

She gave away information because she was being stupid. Being stupid should not be punished as severely as flat out disobeying me. That’s why I didn’t kill everyone she loved. Just her.

Felix shuffled through the notes, sighed, and put them back on the table.

“So, Bill,” I said, “what are you doing?”

“Just paperwork,” Bill replied.

Felix glanced over at the paperwork then he glanced back at the notes. This would have been normal, but then he glanced at the paperwork again, then back at the notes, then at the paperwork again, and then at the notes. Finally, he put the notes down and said something. What he said was:

“I’ve solved the mystery.”

“Great!” I cried.

“So who is it?” asked Bill.

“You,” Felix said.

“Bill?” I said, gaping. “But how?”

“The handwriting on the notes and on the paperwork are the same. Bill is the murderer,” Felix said, as if he wasn’t surprised at all.

Bill began laughing really hard. Through laughter, he said, “My name isn’t Bill. It’s Arthur. Oh, and bye bye.” He got up and ran over to the window and leaped out, smashing the window. It was only the first floor, so he landed on his feet, no problem. He began running into the woods just outside the office. I picked up the phone and called the nearest police station, which was in fact the building we were standing in. But by the time we explained that Bill’s real name was Arthur and that he was a murderer, Arthur had escaped.

Three days later, Felix and I sat in Felix’s dining room eating breakfast. Apparently, Felix was actually an excellent cook. I sat at the table eating fresh fried eggs and crispy hash browns. He was going through the letters he had brought. He went through one. “Oh, apparently my wife is at a friend’s, that’s why she isn’t here. I was worried,” said Felix. Then he went to another letter, opened it, read it, and frowned.

“It’s from Arthur,” he said.

My face turned pale. “The murderer?” I asked.

“That’s the one,” he said.

“What’s it say?” I asked.

“It says he’ll meet us at the restaurant Washington Shakes at 10 o’clock Saturday. He also says not to bring the police, or we will regret it. I’m not bringing the police to find out whether he’s lying or not. Hang on, Washington Shakes is two hours away from here. 10 o’clock is in two hours. Let’s go.”

Felix said this in one breath. It was kind of overwhelming.

I thought this, and then I hurried to the car.

Two hours later, I was at Washington Shakes. Felix took out a pistol.

“You brought a pistol?” I asked, frowning.

“You didn’t?” he frowned back.

Then we walked into Washington Shakes. Arthur was sitting at a table.

Felix pointed his gun at Arthur. “I’d suggest you put that down,” said Arthur.

“Why would I do that?” said Felix.

“Because,” Arthur said, “of this.” He snapped his fingers. Two strangers walked into the room both carrying guns pointed at the other people they had brought in with them. Both were gagged. One was a boy of 15, and the other a woman aged 24.

“My wife!” Felix gasped.

“My son!” I gasped.

“You see,” Arthur said, “you can’t stop me or they die.”

“What are you doing anyways?” Felix said, trying to remain calm.

“So glad you asked,” said Arthur excitedly. “The guy I murdered was brilliant, he was also someone who talked with all the governments of the world. But whenever he looked at someone, he could tell all sorts of facts about them. He would have been perfect at blackmailing. He also had a perfect memory, so he could remember everything. I forced him to write all the bad stuff about all the governments he worked with. So now I am blackmailing several different governments to do what I want, so several countries are under my control. It will be amazing. I’ll be in charge of most of the world.”

Then, Arthur got up and walked out the door.

We were the only ones who could stop him, but we couldn’t kill those we loved. So for the time being, we just stared into the darkness.

To be continued...