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Annabel's AI second draft
Fun with AI
This is my first in-class writing task on the topic of Panchatantra, an ancient Indian collection of animal fables, this semester. The next class after we turned in the first draft, we had to select an AI tool and follow the instructions from the Google Doc (Fun with AI) to create the other Google Doc (Annabel's AI second draft) to help me on the second draft. The image on the left is my hand written first and second draft based on the Panchatantra writing task prompt above.
How does this assignment consider different perspectives, especially culturally unfamiliar perspectives?
This assignment consider different perspectives, especially culturally unfamiliar perspectives since this is a combination of many ancient Indian tales and in the stories, it discussed about topics that are worldwide and universal such as friendships and wisdom with India's culture through animals. As I read through the stories, I get to understand the animal's human-like behavior and the reasons why they would make moves or decisions like human in the story.
The Panchatantra is also translated into English originally by Sanskrit. This shows how it was written significantly in a ancient language of India and how people in the time are used to represent "social norms" in words.
Did the use of AI tools help you in your second draft? How or how not?
I used Gemini as my AI tool and asked it to help me improve my writing. I personally think that the AI helped, but not a lot. I followed the instructions in the Google Doc (Fun with AI), and Gemini is supposed to tell me what I did wrong and what I could add to fix my first draft. However, Gemini focused too much on the details instead of the bigger picture such as the structure of my writing. I wasn't able to make a lot of changes since there wasn't a lot of time and the Gemini's feedback was too specific.
In the feedback, Gemini mentioned that there are many words from the Panchatantra that I could use in my essay to show my understanding toward the story, but I didn't think that this would be necessary since the original prompt was asking about the Somilaka story and adding all these information might lead to confusion to both the teacher and myself.
What are some improvements you could make on this assignment?
The two images above is the illustrations I did for our group's picture book's second draft as the illustrator and a screenshot of the writing for the book. We had a discussion with our teacher during class time and talked about some major mistakes, adjustments that could be done, and he also gave us some advices. I personally think if I could color my illustrations in a vibe that matches the emotion, it would be easier and more relatable to read. For instance, I can make the color tones on the pages where the characters are happy warm and make the illustrations in a cold tone when they are facing a challenge or when something unpleasant happens. In class discussions, my group and I also wanted me to illustrate the front cover page as Garret's house interior with all the animals partying together joyfully and the back cover page as Ryan's house empty and cold. This can create a distracting contrast in comparison to show the consequences of being greedy and being kind.
How did feedback from your peers help you grow during the completion of this assignment?
In our group chat discussions, one of my teammate mentioned how weird it was to having Ryan suddenly turn into a evil character without any hints in the previous pages. We thought of saying it in the very begining but that would ruin the "surprise" of Ryan getting karma and we wanted the readers to stay curious instead of thinking that this is just an ordinary book about friendship. In this case, we had to find a balance between saying nothing before Ryan steals Garret's food and writing it down right away so the readers would just just identify Ryan as evil.
I had an idea of using the illustrations to give out clues that Ryan has always been a bad friend. For instance, on the page where they painted together, Garret would carry the bucket while Ryan sits on him and painting with the paint brush. This could give out the message that Ryan is the selfish friend and the writer wouldn't have to write that Ryan is bad and mean.
I believe that this is a good idea where readers with good observations can tell that Ryan is slightly more selfish and greedy that Garret is.
How does this assignment build on previous work you've done in previous years’ English classes?
In this picture book essay second draft, we had to collect ten different books' information and descriptions about many different categories such as illustrations, crafting, and text. After that, we each made a debatable thesis statement based on all we learnt from the children's book and discuss about it in the following paragraphs. One big major connection and growth I built on the previous in class writing tasks is that before the in class writings, I do preparations on comparing and contrasting all the books on different parts. For instance, I tried to compare on the three novels Dominic, The Murderer's Ape, and La Belle Sauvage based on how animals appear in the books, what kind of role do human stand in the books, and how the illustrations made a significant difference in the books. I also did the same thing to this essay preparation. I made deep comparisons on what I wrote in my picture cards for the ten books and made a claim I find completely reasonable but yet debatable.
You used AI tools for “big picture” advice about your essay’s originality, arguability, depth, and clarity of thesis. Was this helpful? Why or why not? How did you use the advice to improve your second draft?
After I read the AI feedbacks, I didn't feel confident in what I should change. The confusing part of using the feedback, reflect, and rewrite parts is that the AI gave me very high points but yet it gave me tips to reach to ten is by convincing me that I should make big major changes that affects the whole writing a lot. This is confusing and it didn't give me specific feedbacks on ways I can change it and why I should change them.
I would say that compared to last time when we used AI for the Panchatandra's second draft, this time it was a lot less detailed. Last time I reflected as the AI was caring too much about little pieces instead of focusing the big picture. However, for this time, the feedback was not even focusing on what it said earlier and made me confused on why something should be changed. For the second draft, I simply just used the score reason and made some changes myself.
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