Lay is the cover story of Dazed China for May 2020. In this interview, he talks about his fans and their unwavering support, the hardships he has faced, turning 30, reality docu-series "REKNOW" and his acting career.
Images: Dazed China Weibo
Original Interview: Dazed China WeChat
Translation: eternallyixing (Reposted with permission); Additional translations by Xingmi Handbook
Zhang Yixing says, he once had a dream, but he did not know how to realise it. He thinks, this is like a countdown, he'll work hard first, then talk about it again.
In the interview, he says he'll also have a sense of fear. This sense of fear may also be his "motivation" along the way. Back then, he had casually picked a Weibo name, but he did not know that he would become superstar Zhang Yixing, and he also did not expect that "hard work" would become synonymous with him.
Q: How are you spending your time during this pandemic? In a sense, is this considered a time that belongs to yourself?
Yixing: Yes. (I've been) learning, taking classes, dancing...... and I've also found masks, and also made music.
Q: Last year, you held your first solo concert <Grandline>, after 7 shows, what feelings do you have?
Yixing: I didn't invite special guests to my concert, from start to finish, I sang and danced 21 songs, I practically didn't rest. There were also talking segments in between, but I felt that everyone came to watch my concert, not to hear my talk, so I hoped to faster finish talking and get on to singing. After that, fans also said that hope to chat with me more. So in my next concert, I will probably change that~
When I'm singing and dancing on stage, I wear my in-ear monitor so I can't really hear what's going on below the stage. But the fan support that fans did for me, the sea of lights and the slogans, they made me very touched. I think one of the biggest regrets I have in my life is that I'm unable to watch my own concert live and experience the atmosphere together with everyone. My every performance is a result of numerous meticulous practice, so I hope I can feel it for myself. This is my biggest regret, I hope I can use VR technology to immerse myself (in the concert) in the future. You guys should really attend my concert.
Q: When will your next solo concert be?
Yixing: It's currently unknown. During this pandemic, I hope everyone is safe. Most especially the heroes during this pandemic, medical staff and soldiers, I hope they're all safe and sound.
Q: Have you had to postpone or put aside any work because of the pandemic? How are the plans for this year originally?
Yixing: I was originally supposed to attend the Virgin Music Festival in LA this June, it felt like there will finally be the name "Lay Zhang" on an international stage after all the trouble, but then the pandemic came.
There was supposed to be a concert after this festival, my new album release was also in the same slot. I could sing Chinese songs on the international stage, there was a version of a song to be sung in Changsha dialect completely, I could sing in Changsha dialect on stage, just thinking about it is so cool.
Q: In the 4th album that is currently being recorded, what are some of the new attempts that you have made in terms of music style?
Yixing: I've actually been saying, I am doing "M-Pop", this "M" actually means "mix". In fact, not just mixing different languages together, the new album also tries to mix China's ancient legends, historical stories, traditional totems, and there are also unique Chinese musical instruments such as the Guzheng and Hulusi -- I think, the so-called "Chinese-style" may not be just some permutations and combinations of very Chinese images, but instead it can be everything that happens around Chinese people, traits of people is determined by the local environment, so you can see, the way which Chinese people look at the world, the attitude towards things is actually all guided by a certain something on our bones. I hope that these things can be the foundation within my music.
Q: You've mentioned before that you're someone who "lives life counting down". Regarding your "counting down to 30 years old", what do you hope to accomplish before you turn 30 years old?
Yixing: Actually, 30 years old is more of a reminder to me, not a limit. Actually, there's no such thing as being able to accomplish things before 30 and not being able to accomplish things after 30, for things that you genuinely want to accomplish, you may even dare to try it out at 80 years old.
But 30 years old is indeed a reminder, a reminder to myself that "time is really running out", this "time is running out" is mainly about physical fitness. Dancing at 17 years old versus dancing at 28 years old is definitely not the same. Agility and strength feel rather different. At 28 years old, you have more experience, more skills, more freedom to express yourself. But the things you lose as time passes by become more and more obvious, this is something that can't be helped.
So I hope that while I still can dance and move about, I can enjoy the stage well and also present more performances that are, at least to me, awesome and then work hard to learn more things, even if I'm unable to dance one day I can still turn around and do other things that are meaningful and interesting. 30 years old isn't my countdown but every day is the countdown of my life -- forever is too short, there are too many things I want to do, I'm being too greedy again.
Q: When you mentioned that you were heavily misunderstood by the public previously, your condition seemed rather relaxed.
Yixing: All I can say is, whose youth isn't frivolous. But I feel this is stubbornness. A person should live with dreams. This is my conversation with myself: What is your main purpose of coming into this word? To enjoy all of your encounters and then leave again. I feel you should have a goal, or else you're living rather pointlessly.
In 2019, I felt that I was not being understood more and more. I even had doubts sometimes, I felt that it was wrong of me to advocate working hard. Should I then encourage everyone to just lay at home? Their opinions seem to make sense and have a standpoint, that is called "false reasoning". But when they find their "echo wall" (T/N: When opinions get echoed and become public opinion), they affect me too. I'll think that they're right, my views are too outdated. I admire this phrase a lot till now, "Choice is greater than efforts". But you can't not work hard, you know?
Q: Reading your previous interviews, I feel you always give off the feel of someone who's forever young and forever enthusiastic.
Yixing: It's not completely like that, "A man is a teenager in his entire life", why do I say this? In every guy's heart there is passion, but it doesn't mean there isn't passion anymore when he gets older...... Why can't we have a real talk? Is it true that every guy doesn't want to conquer the world? Doesn't want to conquer the universe? Because there is such an "ideal", it gives people endless motivation.
Q: Other than your fans, a lot of other people may have known you from reality and variety shows, does this bother you? What do you wish for people to know Zhang Yixing as?
Yixing: Honestly speaking, every Zhang Yixing that people know are all Zhang Yixing, it's just that the method and angle of viewing are different. It's just like when we face parents at home and when we face colleagues at work, they are definitely different, but you can't say which is you and which isn't you. If you think carefully, every part of you that people see are all real.
Previously I might have wanted to let everyone know that I'm actually a musician outside of the shows I'm on, but now as I get older, I really start not getting tangled up over this issue anymore, because some people like to watch variety shows, some people like to watch movies, some people like to listen to music, regardless of which area they get to know you from, they all mean "You're being seen", this is already a very good thing.
Also to be honest, the older I get, the more I understand that, explaining to people time and again as well as emphasizing that "I am a musician" is no use, if your music is good, they will naturally be known out there, naturally be heard, if they are not heard, it means you're not that good yet. After understanding this point, I don't feel bothered.
Q: Last year, you filmed the reality show <REKNOW>, which shows an overseas trip that lasted 13 days. Why did you think of filming <REKNOW>? How did the plans in your mind start?
Yixing: I discussed this with director Yan Min back in 2017, I finally realised it in 2019, I'm rather happy. Initially, I wanted to collect folk songs (learn other people's culture and customs). I also want to break into the international market, one of the precondition was, do I understand this country's culture? Actually I did not understand, so I took my questions along to collect folk songs, to go feel the culture there. After that, I want to say, is it possible for other countries to see our ethnic culture in season 2?
In the first season of <REKNOW>, it was to go and understand the culture overseas, so maybe it's possible to look into China in season 2, I hope to communicate with the older generation of traditional artists about intangible cultural heritage, that will lead to foreigners paying attention to the Chinese culture. But these are just my thoughts, there will be difficulties implementing it. The problem now is that the foreign audience isn't huge. Or could it be that there isn't promotion (about this matter)? I'm not too sure either, anyway my initial idea was this.
Q: You have received numerous music awards. Among all these music awards, which one is the most special to you? Why?
Yixing: They're all very important, they're all affirmations for me, they're all worth remembering and being thankful for. But if you're talking about the most recent one that made me the most emotional, it's possibly the year-end TME award in 2019. I saw my X'Backs (Zhang Yixing's fans) said that because I could only receive an award backstage during some award event back then, they wanted to give me the most affirmation for voting this time. I actually don't remember what award event they were talking about, but I suddenly felt very touched, I thought to myself, "What good have I done to be treated so well like this?"
There's someone who helps you remember things that you don't even remember yourself, there's someone who gives you support, for 1 year, 2 years, 5 years, 8 years. I always say I want to become their (fans) strength, I hope others won't point fingers at them and gossip about them because they (fans) like me. But actually in my heart, I know that they (fans) are my strength, because of them, even in my hardest times, even at times where I almost give up, I grit my teeth and get over it. So, the awards that they (fans) give me, I'm happy wherever I receive it, I'm really happy.
Q: In the past few years, you've also acted in movies and dramas such as <Oh My God>, <To be a Better Man>, <The Mystic Nine>, <The Founding of an Army> and more. How large of a proportion does the profession of an actor take up in your heart?
Yixing: I actually can't calculate this proportion, because you have no way of precisely marking a proportion of every choice in your life. But I like acting more and more, it doesn't collide with my music.
A lot of people say my music doesn't have empathy, I admit, my life is really more monotonous and dull due to the limitations of my profession, I have no way to experience life or travel the world like the people my age. But in movies, I'm able to have a different identity and experience a lot of stories and emotions that I'll never be able to in life, it feels like holding onto someone else's story to experience my own life, this to me is a very good workout, it's very precious and also very interesting.
I also have upcoming plans of filming more dramas/movies. I still hope that for a lot of things, I either don't do them or do them well, at least it's passable, I hope to get even more good stories, good roles, I don't necessarily have to have a certain amount of screen time, or have an important role, as long as it's brilliant, it's good enough.
Q: In the past two years, it feels like you're always in the state of "finding yourself", up till now, do you feel like you've found the answers you want? When did the idea of "finding yourself" sprout for you?
Yixing: I haven't found the answer. But isn't life a journey of finding yourself? Actually, "finding yourself" belongs in 2019 to a greater extent. At the time, I was busy to the point where I had no time to think about this. To me, 2020 is about getting things done.
Allowing myself to feel other people's normal life through filming programmes actually makes me rather happy. But actually, having a camera follow you, that isn't real life either. God is fair, I received one part, but what it made me lose are these parts. If I wanted to use what I've received in exchange for what I've lost, I think I should be able to get them in return. I'm not exchanging them because I still have dreams that I have yet to achieve.