Happiness, Sadness, Fear, Anger
The world is filled with many colors, many sounds, and many flavors. What if I was only one color, one sound, or one flavor in this world? Would I fit in? What if my color is black; a boring color to look at compared to the others? A color that plays a deep bass when it speaks; a color that gives a different flavor that is not sweet or sour. Let it be known I am not talking about the color of my skin, but of my core. I view the core like a type of sponge. And my sponge is black and mysterious as it doesn’t show the emotions like any of the colors on the rainbow. However, the black color does absorb all colors making it the most complex color. If color, sound, and flavor are the metaphors for the different emotions offered in this world, and black is the combination of every color, every sound, and every flavor does that make my core sensitive?
I’ve always lied to myself and others that nothing bothers me but that is not the case. My feelings are just too complicated to put into words. To describe how I feel with the words in the dictionary just doesn’t feel right. To feel happy, joy, and excitement isn’t exactly how I feel. To feel sad, depressed, or angry isn’t correct either. Sometimes I am just feeling something and that something just doesn’t have a word for it and there never could be a word for it as it's an emotion within the black core. It isn’t linear like a light blue sky core or a dark red core that absorbs one shade of color better than others.
To explain more on the core, think as red as anger, and if someone is angry with a red core they have a better job keeping their anger under control because they absorb the feeling, but when they are excited they can’t help but let it show as yellow (happy color) doesn’t get absorbed by red.
I wish my core wasn’t black. I wish I didn’t absorb every emotion I feel because it is hard when you want to share it with others. I’m not sure if one is born with a certain color core or if one can change their core. If I could choose my core it would be purple because it is similar to black in meaning and a little bit more open with sharing its linear emotions.
May 3, 2023