2024 in Review

Academic Learning

Study and gaming have happened in parallel the year. Reading the work of Glaser, Strauss, and Corbin means I am starting to grasp the concepts of Grounded Theory, and through Charmaz, I understand how my research fits more specifically with the methodology and methods of Constructivist Grounded Theory. 

By conducting s number of pilot interviews with friends and colleagues I’ve started to learn how the interviewing process works. I’m beginning to see how transcription and initial line by line coding works and have tentatively started to ‘play’ with incident-with-incident coding. Interestingly, my first foray into coding has uncovered an interesting theory around ‘accidental learning’ that I’d like to write a paper about; that adult gamers who play open world RPGs learn how to negotiate real-world, work-based situations, and that via games embedded in historical or scientific accuracy, they learn facts without knowing it. Indeed, they only realise that they know something when a question on a television gameshow, a crossword puzzle clue, or a pub quiz jogs their memories, and they realise they know the answer… ‘because it was in Assassin’s Creed’. In true ‘side quest’ spirit, I’m planning on interviewing a few more adult gamers who are employed and see if there’s something in this. 

More importantly, piloting the (semi-structured) interview process has given me a chance to start learning the ropes, and the the confidence to begin my research proper in January 2025. But one cannot be over-confident. I know that I have learned enough about my chosen methodology, methods and approaches to know that I understand very little, but I also know that learning how to carry out a perfect research study is impossible. And realising this does release some pressure.

Interested to know more about the philosophy of my research, I completed a short MOOC ('Introduction to Phenomenology') and its links with Grounded Theory research. I write more about these links here, along with my co-author for the post, ChatGPT. 

The autumn saw my first period of overwhelm. Juggling my job, PhD study and keeping my (admittedly small) house and garden in a reasonable state was proving to be difficult and left me feeling anxious. The solution, after looking at the cobwebs adorning my ceiling for the 500th time and feeling my heart sink and anxiety level rise, was to employ someone to clean for two hours every two weeks. This has proved to be the cheapest form of therapy AND I have a clean house.  I can easily keep on top of things and the sense of overwhelm and anxiety vanished. That’s not to say these feelings won’t return. They will. But at the end of 2024, I genuinely feel that RIGHT NOW I’ve got a handle on this.

Learning through Gaming

Gaming gives me time and space to think about and reflect upon my studies, while creating data as a participant in my own research. I kept a handwritten daily gaming journal in 2024 and discovered some new things about who I am as a gamer.

I don’t like finishing games I have become emotionally attached to. Likewise, I don’t like finishing television shows or books I am invested in because I cannot bear to end the relationship. Inevitably I reach a point just before the final quest or battle where I save the game and never return. That says something about who I am – someone who cannot finish things for fear of losing them from my life.  I may need to work on that. 

A very different reason for not finishing games is boredom driven by my lack of confidence. I grind waaaaay too much, so spend hundreds of hours repeatedly mining for ore, slicing rats in half, and carrying out fetch-and-carry tasks for experience points. I cannot shake the belief that I don’t have the skills needed to get to level 20 to best that final boss. Oh no. I need to be a level 50, so just one clumsy lunge with my sword is all it takes to win. But by the time I get to level 50 I am incredibly bored and stop playing. I also get bored with games that require 5 minutes of precisely timed button mashes and 16 different forms of dodging and parrying just to down one enemy, followed by a good 20 minutes of the same drawn-out precision button pressing for a boss. If I see an enemy on the horizon and my heart sinks, I know I’m not going to finish the game.

On a brighter note, I am learning that I may be better at playing video games than I think. There have been a few times this year where I’ve (unknowingly or accidentally) played on a game’s ‘normal’ or ‘hard’ setting and not really noticed any difference. A friend of mine watched me playing and told me I was a decent player. Though he may have just been trying to be nice. Maybe I need to play a game on a normal setting from the start and stop over-clocking of my character. 

*I just realised this is NOT an open world RPG. Maybe I'm more flexible than I thought when it comes to genres.

**I will crack at some point.