september

The extent of the realignment had reached the point where entering his 20th monthsary suddenly became uneasy.

This was not like any of his previous monthsaries. For September, I wrote a reflection on the Freedom Space instead of a congratulatory greeting. It was the very first time that I had contemplated about his status during a monthsary. I have never imagined doing that.. on a monthsary!

For the very first time, I wrote during a monthsary that I conceded defeat.

And you know what? I was disheartened.

Cara used to be consistent ever since he started leading 20 months earlier. He was so consistent, that up to that point he never had an alternate leader. I had a feeling that ever since the forever.21 promotional era, that was about to change.

We were not sure about that back then, but I knew what was certain. As the situation continued to aggravate, and his status became more and more unstable.. I thought I needed a fresh new start.

So I had to step back from my engagements with the boys.

The seven members of BTS had to leave again. They went on another hiatus, and this time it lasted for three weeks. 22.5 days for the older six members (including Cara) and 21 days for the youngest, Jungkook, who was the last member to celebrate his birthday so he had to appear on my phone lock screen until his time was up. It was the longest they had so far, as it was one or two more than the one last March. For this one, I had to miss important dates, such as Namjoon's birthday and their 2nd inception anniversary.

Prior to that, I have been disengaged already with the boys since forever.21. Yes, I never knew what happened to them from the very moment "Dynamite" was released. I've cut off my social media, Weverse and other related apps and went on what seemed to be an eternal focus mode on my phone, to not be aware of them for the moment. The cancellations of events lined up this fall were also part of that big change.

In their absence, the members of ONF stepped in to take over - eventually fulfilling the exact same duty BTS had always been doing for months.

While on hiatus, I did everything I thought I had to do. Since we did not have an event to work on.. I spent that time on doing things I never had the chance to do, usually related to making the most in my 20s (I was turning 27, by the way) in spite of the pandemic. I did a lot, from brushing on my design skills, making milk tea and other similar drinks and learning a new language, as well as going over some items we used when I was growing up, since a new room was about to be made again and it was needed to be done. A sense of nostalgia was felt when I went over these things. Suddenly I found myself longing for my childhood to come back.

The September hiatus was my chance to get myself back together, after everything that happened. It was time for me to be more serious with what I do. Three years have passed since I graduated from college, and something had to happen now. Things had to change. I needed to do something about it. I have to get my plans aligned to what I want to happen in my life. It was the purpose of this realignment.

And I was not even sure if my actions worked in my favor! But I know two things about the hiatus I am sure of. Well at least it helped me know myself better. It's something I needed during this very critical time. That was the first one.

The second was that it became an opportunity for me to know more about the members of ONF. The realignment hiatus became a chance for me to know them better, and considering that it was still within the K-pop industry - being my first time to remain engaged with the industry during the hiatus - it was not as bad as I expected it to be! Every day during the hiatus, they remind me of BTS. It's like I have found a second BTS.

I know, the Bangtan Boys will never be replaced but at least they paved the way for me to find another group who can do the same! You know what they say, BTS paved the way.

It's like the seven boys have never left.

But honestly though, the more I think about them.. the more I miss BTS now. Remember, these were the same people who were once a threat to Caratime. But things turned around. Though there were times when I felt like BTS didn't need to come back. But I tried my very best to not have these thoughts, despite my growing interest on the other group.

In spite of this, each passing day of hiatus as their return drew closer made me wonder what was happening to BTS. Every day, I found myself thinking about what they could possibly be up to in these 35 days that they were gone. More than a month of not having been engaged with them is not a joke, especially when it's the aftermath of a comeback. I was expecting to miss a lot.

I would consider this hiatus as a way to reboot the leadership, after the distress it experienced that past month. The 35 days of inactivity then became a transition.. to a brand new book for the My Diaries Event Universe, which happened when the boys returned on my birthday.

We have considered the end of September to be the beginning of Book 2, when after 35 days of inactivity and nearly 23 days of full absence, the seven members of BTS have finally returned.

I was right.

I MISSED A LOT FROM THEM.

I cannot enumerate each of them here on this note because you may see them elsewhere within the MD notion, but I was not surprised that I was going to miss a lot. They've had comeback stages, appearances and more. However, I was quite surprised that they had a Billboard Hot 100 #1!

That was insane.

At this point, there's no way Aliza cannot know BTS now!

Should I have known, however, on that very day they topped the chart in no less Jungkook's birthday.. instead of conceding, it could have been a very happy day for me. But it happened. At least they made an accomplishment, and I could not ever be more proud.

Even with a Billboard #1 single, they still remained to be the same boys. The same seven boys who debuted seven years ago and whom I known two years ago. But everything became different from then on, as dual stanning continued to grow in this leadership.

The following day, I received the news of their BE comeback on November 20, and in turn delivered the news of Cara making it to Year 3 in 2021.

An affirmation of more to come.. in what I now call the new normal in Caratime.