Aliçia Kavanagh at Bloom

It's OK to have emotions and to feel Happy or Sad. It is particularly difficult for children to experience Grief and Loss. We discovered how so much has been expressed through a garden and the creation of Rainbows End.

When business and community are brought together by the imagination of a child.

Twelve-year old 6^th class schoolgirl Aliçia Kavanagh has just finished exhibiting her Postcard Garden Rainbow’s End, at Bloom created by Bord Bía™ in the Phoenix Park, Dublin. It is now a dream she has realised and Aliçia was delighted to have been ‘Highly Commended’ for her thought-provoking concept design, ‘a reflection of the grieving process through the eyes of a child’.

Aliçia chose to use her unique platform at Bloom to highlight the work of Meath Springboard Family Support Services CLG, a partially state-funded agency who provide support and counselling for children aged 12 years and under, and their families who are going through challenging times. The concept of Aliçia’s garden design and the basis of the work of the agency were ideally suited to each other and the reaction at Bloom by public and media alike was hugely positive.

Through the eyes of a child

The first message was for adults, who’s experience of the seven emotions associated with grief were depicted by planting which was shown as tall and strong, in a variety of colours based on the rainbow and black and white. The colours were chosen following research Aliçia conducted prior to her submission to Bloom. (more about that on the ‘Rainbow’s End’ Facebook page.) These plants were plainly visible to those passing and in effect provided a strong, protective border for a slightly masked, internal, smaller garden. Aliçia’s message was very straight and to the point. Once those tall plants are tended to and taken care of, they will provide shelter, protection and support for the smaller plants within. The analogy was not lost on those viewing the garden - when adults recognise, sit with and deal with their own emotions during times of crisis, they create a strong support system for the child they are protecting which allows the child to develop healthily even at times of crisis. Plants not tended to will wilt and begin to decay, i.e. emotions not dealt with, but which are offset, ignored or avoided, will overshadow the growth of those which they have a duty to protect.

The second message of the garden was for children. The internal garden, depicted by smaller plants in a cacophony of colours, represented the children’s experience of those same seven emotions associated with grief. In stark contrast to the adult colours, the children’s colours chosen could best be described as a riot of colour. Heart-warming to see, beautiful to observe and bound to put a smile on the face of everyone who took the time to look closely enough to see them, the message they held was quite profound. Aliçia interpreted the colour scheme from her research to show confusion through colour. This she feels, is exactly how children feel at times of crisis. Their thoughts are childlike and immediate. The experience of the emotions overwhelming and confusing and often without a name or an understanding of how to behave when experiencing them. This Aliçia believes children then try, sometimes with difficulty, to associate with how their adults are experiencing the same crisis. Being aware of the differences between the two experiences, but not being able to name it, can cause confusion in children.

Coming through grief

Aliçia understands this well, as she herself wondered about her feelings of happiness at times, even though she had lost someone very close to her whom she loved very much. “Aliçia came to me, following the death of my Mum in 2015 and asked if it was okay that sometimes she was laughing and having fun because she forgot for a minute that Nana was gone”, explained Aliçia’s Mum, Sinead. “I told her of course it was okay to be happy, Nana would be glad that she (Aliçia) wasn’t upset all of the time. I explained that part of the grieving process is about reaching a point when you accept the distressing event has occurred. There is nothing you can do to change it, but you can do something about how you are afterward, how you react to it. If that means you choose to, at times, find the joy in life and have fun with friends and laugh, then that’s fantastic. For others, it might mean having blue or even navy days for a while but slowly coming to terms with the fact that life does go on and we’re still here with people who love us.”

It was quite a deep conversation to be addressed by someone so young but in exploring her own feelings and then looking at those around her, Aliçia realised not every child is exposed to feelings which are seen as negative. Aliçia calls them ‘darker’ feelings as opposed to ‘lighter’ ones. She thinks calling them negative is part of the reason people feel they shouldn’t experience them, or more importantly, Aliçia feels, adults want to keep them from children. “Life doesn’t work that way. People feel happy and sad, angry and full of fun, just like they can feel sleepy or wide awake or hungry and not hungry. They are all feelings and we need to learn how to live with all of them, especially when we’re little and have grown-ups to mind us”, says Aliçia with a wisdom perhaps beyond her years.

The stories people tell

“The response and feedback to Aliçia, her garden and its messages at Bloom has been pretty incredible”, says Sinead. “Standing back, listening to Aliçia deliver her messages to the public was inspirational for me. To see this little person, my little person, speak so passionately about something she has been processing for almost four years, was amazing and the surge of pride was huge. There were definitely tears of pride at times. But then to see and hear people’s reactions to Aliçia, her messages and the garden was awe-inspiring. She really touched so many people. We had stories of loss and bereavement. We met people who had travelled to Dublin and Bloom just to see Aliçia’s garden after hearing about it on social media or in the paper. We had people shed their first tears after recent bereavements, at Rainbow’s End. People wanted to share, to talk and sometimes just to tell someone else how much they loved the person who was gone. For some, the garden provided a tangible depiction of their feelings. Some left votives for people who had passed, anonymously at the garden. During one of Aliçia’s deliveries, I overheard a guy tell his girlfriend that he ‘had just had his ass kicked by a 12-yr old’. I couldn’t help but giggle and I was caught but he was lovely and explained that listening to Aliçia made him realise what was going on for him wasn’t the end of the world and he could look at things with a different perspective. That’s incredible to think my daughter has achieved this, in such a grown-up setting and surrounded by peers who are mostly adults and belong to organisations or groups with resources behind them. She is just 12 and only had me, and some really encouraging people who ‘got’ the project.”

Rainbow’s End - The Epilogue

For now, Aliçia’s Bloom 2018 project is finished. She wanted to bring her concept garden to the public and she got the opportunity to do that and was ‘highly commended’ for doing so, not only by the Bloom judges but it would appear by the public too. So, what’s next for this socially conscious young girl. “Well, I’ve donated the garden to Meath Springboard Family Support Services in Navan, so Mum and I have just finished replanting the garden in their new place at Mangan House. That’s its forever home now. We had some help from the horticulture students in LMETB and volunteers from Springboard. It was great and lots of fun. I wasn’t allowed to physically build the garden at Bloom on the Tuesday, because there was so much other building going on there, you had to be over 16, so I could only do the preparation. I had been able to look after everything up to when we loaded the truck on Monday night and I gave my Mum very detailed instructions the tell the crew. I even had special permission to use my phone at school to check in and see the photos of the progress, but it was great to be at Springboard and be the one to put the plants where I wanted them.

All I have left then is the online prize draw that I’m holding for the fab shed that Boyne Garden Sheds gave to me. Maree and Michael Flanagan are lovely and gave me so much support and encouragement, I’m really happy that the shed will be going on to its forever home very soon too, but I’ll have to find another reason to go and visit them to have chats. I decided to have an online draw because the money will be much more useful to Meath Springboard. Doing it online means I don’t have to use any money to print tickets so that’s more money for Springboard. I’m glad to have been able to help them and hope they like their new garden. It’ll take a bit of time to settle but by the end of the summer hopefully it’ll look like it’s always been there”, Aliçia told the Meath Chronicle.

Sinead C Kavanagh, Project Co-Ordinator, Rainbow’s End, Navan, Co. Meath