I’m not sure what I’m here to do. All I am sure of is who I am and what I’ve seen.
What have I seen? To quote a favorite movie, “something wonderful!” I’ve been to the depths of creation and back. I’ve swam in the river of life and creation that makes up this beautiful universe, and I know what it’s made of. It’s made of us; our hopes and dreams; our tragedies and horrors; all of it.
This entire universe is alive. We are all one organism, one part of it all. The stars and planets are its organs. And we are its blood cells. Humans, animals, fish, all the countless species of “E.T.s” throughout the galaxy; we are the force that gives the universe life, lets it breathe and create. We come and go in our bodies and forms, live and die, but in the end we were always here and will always continue to be here, to exist, to live, because we are one with our mother and father, the universe.
I know this sounds very abstract and “out there.” What does this matter to real life here on earth? What does it matter in reality? It matters in everything. It tells us who we are and why we are here. All the questions religion struggles to answer can be solved with this truth, because it is not a truth of the mind, but of the heart and soul. It is the great mystery taught by so many ancient cults. But you don’t need to go through initiations to learn it; all you have to do is look at the world around you, let it soak into your soul, and feel it.
Empathy is the key. Empathy for people, animals, inanimate objects, everything. I’ve often been asked how I could love everyone. The reason is empathy. I can and have put myself into the heart and soul of every person on this planet, good and bad, and I know that they are me. I am no different than them. They are my brothers and sisters, my mother and father, my kin; all of them, and I cannot reject a single one of them, no matter what. They are my family, myself, and I love them. Yes, this is maddening sometimes and very overwhelming. It gets to be a bit much when you can empathize with a street sign for all its seen and touched. But this is who I am. My heart and soul lives in this world of empathy, and I never want to leave it.
I know this probably makes no sense to you; it often doesn’t make sense to me. All I can tell you is what I feel. I’ve put myself into the hearts of killers and lovers; felt their emotions; and what I feel is the richness of humanity, the depths of our glory as living beings. That is something to celebrate and treasure. It is something to love.
Love is why we are here. Love is the glue that binds this universe together, that gives us life. It is the magic and mystery behind our existence. Love is our home, our true home. The great mystery religions believed humans were divine love cast down from heaven to walk upon the earth, and that our goal was to return to our home in the heavens. They got it partly right, we are divine love made into flesh, but this is our home as much as the heavens. This planet and all her sisters, in their beautiful physicality, they are our home too. Maybe our goal is to learn this fact. To love this home as we do the one among the stars. To love one another here as much as we do there.
Not a lofty goal or purpose, it’s actually pretty simple, just to love. Just to be who we are, for no other reason than that it’s who we are. No great cosmic justice, no heaven or hell. When we die our essence returns to the great river of life that drives this universe, no matter who we were or what we did. So why bother with this life, if it doesn’t matter? Why bother with love? Because it is who we are. To deny love is to deny ourselves.
I know this still probably sounds like drivel. Just words on a page. That’s because no words can ever adequately convey the thoughts and feelings of my heart. Nothing can ever describe the things I’ve seen with my heart. How do you describe how it feels to watch the birth of a star, or of an infant? How do you describe the feelings of the death of a human, or a worm, its body collapsing into the earth? How can you explain what a mountain feels like when it witnesses an eon of humanity before its slopes? What does it feel like to be a tree’s leaves moving in the night wind? You cannot describe these things with words, they are things you can barely contain in your heart. They are feelings of joy and wonder unimaginable, and yet I’ve felt all of them. I feel them every day, every minute of my life, whether I like it or not.
This is who I am. Someone who has been touched, blessed, with feelings and memories of what this universe, this life is. It is not something I’ve read or made up. It is a part of me, as much as my arms and legs. It has given me so much. Yes, I am often confused and overwhelmed by it, but it has also brought me great peace. I have seen the face of the universe, what some would call god, and I know I am one and the same with it. I have no fear of death or life, because I know who I am and why I am here. I know where I came from and where I am going. I am. I just am.
November 28, 1999