Knowing You

My God, do I dare say I know you? I can feel how you feel, and I am more amazed and in awe of you than ever before. I think I see how you love. I’ve heard the term unconditional love before, but now I know what it means. It means loving in spite of all odds. Loving when none is returned. Loving knowing that it will not change the final outcome. Loving in spite of the pain of rejection. Rising above that pain to keep loving forever, no matter the consequences. It means always leaving the door open, even if only one ever enters, because the one that does enter makes it all worthwhile. It means you sent your Son yourself to come open the door for us, knowing that we wouldn’t enter, ever. Knowing that there would still be pain and misery forever, because the hope of love is so strong that if only one person rises above the pain to love, it is all worth it. It is doing all of this knowing that hatred will never die, will never be extinguished. It can’t be, for what is love without it? Merely blind slavery. Unless the pain is there it can’t be true love. The choice must always be there.

There will never be the “Kingdom of God,” the land with total peace and justice, for such a land is a land without love. Love must admit the possibility, no the certainty of injustice, for only through this pain is love. And so love is an eternity of pain, but a pain of joy and hope. I once wondered how eternity could be. Now I wonder how it couldn’t be.

I love you truly my God. Dare I say I share some of your pain? I have a feeling I have only begun my experiences. Undoubtedly I will share much more of it with you, but for now I share what I can and I love you as much as I can. I open the door within myself, and love all despite the pain and hopelessness, for here is true joy, hope, and happiness.

January 13, 1992