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Volume 3 Issue 3
Hippopotamum volo pro Nativitate Domini
DECEMBER 2024
Matt Malloy '25, Christos Dimas '25, Leonard Siegal '25, and James McCormac '25
Journalists Matt Malloy and Christos Dimas interview St. Nick as he pays a visit to 6410 S Dante Ave. Watch here...
Prophet Elijah (H)
The founder of the Carmelites discusses his favorite places to be at peace and silent. Read more...
RJ Risos '26
There'll be parties for hosting, marshmallows for toasting, and caroling down S Dante. Read more...
Nicholas Lodato '27
Even a little bit of holiday cheer won't stop a dress code. Read more...
Adam Stanislawski '26
While Mr. Tabernacki goes off to fulfill his Christmas duties this year, who has truly been naughty or nice? Read more...
Comic Section
Comic Section
Fresh Out the Box: Gavyn Williams '27
Other News
KITCHEN SERVICE INVESTIGATED FOR ALLEGED ELF MEAT
P.A. ANNOUNCEMENT ASKS OWNER OF SLEIGH TO MOVE TO ACCOMODATE SEASON-TICKET HOLDERS
WHAT DID SHAQ GET MR. BAFFOE FOR CHRISTMAS? NEW ISSUE OF THE NATIR? 1/2 GALLON OF MCRIB SAUCE?
IHSA BOARD VOTES TO PUT BEARS IN 7A
Have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year from the degenerates at The Merchant*
*except from Sensei Baffoe, who neither gives nor accepts demands to have one's day any way they do not choose
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