Students utilize Ash Wednesday as  opportunity to cheat

After Ash Wednesday starting the Lenten season, students at Mount Carmel couldn’t help but capitalize on the timing and take a grab at a little bit of personal fame. 

Students in Mrs. Jennifer Smola’s Freshman Honors Algebra 1 took ashes and spread the word. This word, however, happened to be the exact word-for-word answers on the latest test Mrs. Smola had just given out. Due to this exploitation of a classic Catholic tradition, these students have created a negative stigma not just around themselves but also around the ashes as a whole.

Now, as a proactive measure, teachers and other faculty are taking a proactive ban against other religious items hoping to curtail any other cheating scandals. Palms are now going to be hidden behind paintings and other objects where they will sit for years to come, never to see the light of day again. 

On the flip side, MC administration has taken this opportunity to switch the cafeteria to only meat-free options. The cafeteria in the commons switched to only loaves of bread and fish, and it suspiciously  never seems to run out of food either. It's always a different kind of fish, but the bread stays the same every time. Despite this, the students at MC just cannot get enough.

Even the boiler at MC has been acting strangely. It has been said that boilers are artificially heating up the school and making it hotter. This has been only as of Ash Wednesday and is posing dessert-like conditions.

“It's really unfortunate that people take advantage of such a needed time of reflection,” said freshman Santiago Pineda, who is often held among his peers as one of the most wholesome and righteous individuals in MC and was not involved in the cheating scandal. “It really makes me upset that my peers aren't willing to put in the same amount of work I and other kids in the freshman class do.”

It has been rumored that all students involved in the scandal were made to participate as “Shavees” for the St. Baldrick’s Fundraiser. Coincidentally, this year for the fundraiser had a larger than usual amount of people shaving their head.

“Even though I was in the class as well, I chose not to cheat,” said freshman Connor Schnolis, a nine-year participant in St. Baldricks, chooses willingly to shave but is suspicious of others, “but, man, is it unfortunate for all those kids with lots of hair. You know, that kid Ben Piotrowski has mysteriously gone bald lately and I don't know why.”

Now, all of these changes are not for the worse. These systematic changes to the MC way all have brought students closer to their Catholic faith in a positive way.

“After this incident and the reactions to it I've decided to give up on school for Lent.” said junior Garrett Mann, who is particularly upset with all of the “unnecessary busy work and friggin packets, yo.” 

He added that “even though it's a time of fasting and observance, teachers need to realize this is not a time of suffering.”