I offer mediation for people who find themselves involved in a conflict. My aim is to get people talking and through talking, finding a resolution to their conflict. Interpersonal mediation is a mixture of counselling and conflict resolution. It may seem strange to say this, but reaching agreements is only a part of my role, and not the most important part. Often people find that having an opportunity to acknowledge their feelings and differences, is enough to enable them to get their relationship back on track. Mediation is a powerful way of resolving a dispute or complaint, or of preventing a dispute or complaint from escalating into something bigger.
Problems in therapy.
If you find yourself feeling that your therapist isn't hearing what you say, or isn't treating you in a way that you feel is appropriate or helpful, it is quite possible that you are also feeling conflicted about making a complaint. An official complaint through a therapist's ethical body requires you to provide evidence of misconduct - and this may well be difficult or upsetting to provide - plus it could well be that you don't wish to see the therapist penalised, you would just like them to say sorry to you!
Though it is important that you try to explain how you feel to your therapist, if once you have explained it to them and nothing changes, or your therapist counters with perhaps you don't understand how therapy works, or worse, tells you to never contact them again - then perhaps mediation would be a good next step for you both.
My role is to provide both of you individually with a safe and confidential space so that I can hear each person's account of the situation, to listen and clarify, as you are able to say whatever you feel needs to be said. After your individual conversations with me, if you are both willing to meet together, during the next stage I will ask each of you to tell me what you wish the other person to know. My role is to moderate any conflict, to pick up on points of importance, and to begin to map out possible ways forward.
The final step occurs when I step back, listening now as you both talk to each other - and I will highlight any possible solutions you both suggest, helping you notice where you are in agreement to find a better way to proceed.
Problems with mental health services.
Most mental health services are tightly regulated and the people working for them must act within certain guidelines. This often means that 'service users' feel compelled to comply with treatment that isn't what they feel they need. Families too may feel side-lined and unheard as the Home Visit Team sweeps in - and then out again. Carers often feel powerless to help 'Service User' and would like Service User, or mental health services to hear and understand their point of view. When the Home Visit Team or school counsellor only takes Service User's version into account, often important and relevant concerns are not put in the notes and this can have very serious consequences.
My role as mediator is to hear your version of your situation, to find out what has happened, and as in the description above - to facilitate a discussion to find ways to help this situation be less stressful, and more about what works!
Couples.
Not couples therapy as such, this is for situations in which one of you has noticed that something isn't fair or right and mediation provides an opportunity for you both to reach concrete agreements over what you will do differently. As a mediator I have no agenda other than to provide you individually with a confidential space to really look at your own feelings - and then to mediate between you both as you have a conversation with each other about what both of you would prefer to be happening.
The initial stage involves a confidential meeting with each person involved. Each meeting may be up to 90 minutes duration, and will be scheduled for the morning of your mediation day.
If everyone is ready to continue, the mediator will set up a joint meeting for the afternoon. If the mediator assesses that it would be better for you to be in separate rooms, the mediator will “shuttle” between you until you feel ready to meet.
The joint meeting - This meeting brings you together and allows for a comprehensive airing of views and offers a chance to speak directly to one another. The aim of the joint session is to discuss how you believe you have arrived at the current situation, and to try and agree on how to improve your relationship. This meeting usually lasts about half a day. Sometimes a second joint meeting may be needed if there are a lot of issues involved, or if you need more negotiating time.
Towards the end of the joint meeting the mediator will highlight any actions or agreements that can be drawn up as a plan of action, or a summary of your improved understanding, both of the situation and of one another. Often, it will include what needs to happen in order to improve your relationship with the other parties. The mediator is impartial and does not make any suggestions or influence its content.
When an agreement is reached, the mediator can offer to write it up and send it to all parties. It is a good faith agreement and is not binding in any way. If you have been sent to mediation, and a referrer is involved, they will not be given a copy of your agreement without your consent. If you don’t wish to share your agreement, all that the referrer will be told is that the mediation went ahead and that it was successful/unsuccessful.
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Please contact me if you require a reduced fee. I am willing to take on cases for £0.00 depending on your circumstances, and room availability.
Price of mediation day: Low cost - £150 - £350.0
Full cost £500. 0 - £800.0
I request payment before your mediation day.
If a second day is required to improve your dispute, this will be charged at a rate of £40.0 an hour.
Mediation will take place at St John’s counselling in Bromsgrove, it can be located at your place of work, or in the place of dispute if private rooms are available and you are less than 30 miles away.
Mediation cannot be provided within your home.