B Y B R E R P A N T H E R
There's no limit to how much you'll know, depending how far beyond zebra you go.
One of the most beloved aspects of Dr. Seuss' stories are the bizarre new species of animals that they introduce. Who else could have possibly thought of a Sneetch, a Brown Barbaloot, or a Cowfish? Seussian Safari is a salute to the wild and wacky residents of the animal kingdom found only in Seuss' books. The attraction also acts as a slight parody of Kilimanjaro Safaris and the Jungle Cruise, but with just enough twists to keep it from being seen as a knockoff of either attraction.
The attraction's entrance is marked by a large wooden sign held up by curved bamboo sticks (like the rest of Seuss Landing, there are no straight lines at any point in the ride), the attraction's name written on it in bold letters. Stepping under the sign, guests make their way through the outdoor queue, bombastic foliage on either side of them. At night, the path is lit by torches.
Eventually, guests reach a large building that a sign over the front door dubs the "JUNGLE OF NOOL NAVIGATION CO." A smaller sign can be spotted in the window, reading "JOIN US FOR A JUNGLE SAFARI - YOU'LL HAVE FUN, YOU WON'T BE SORRY!" Inside, the queue continues to wind up and down a series of hallways (via switchbacks). On the walls are hung strange-looking hunting trophies and large posters boasting illustrations of some of the animals we'll see on the ride, plus some information about them (scientific names, diet, the noises it makes, etc.).
The queue leads back outside, where we arrive at the attraction's boarding station. Here we board strange-looking safari vehicles, the sort of safari vehicles that only Dr. Seuss could have designed. In the front seat of each vehicle, our guide - usually a pith helmet-wearing guy with a bushy mustache - sits, behind them three rows of three seats (making for a total of nine riders per vehicle, plus the guide). "Get in, get in!" the guide urges us. "Take a seat. Let's not be late. We must be setting off. The jungles await."
Once everyone is seated, the vehicle goes into motion, the thick jungle foliage seemingly swallowing it up. The guide welcomes us aboard, reminding us to remain seated with our hands, arms, feet and legs inside the vehicle at all times (and don't feed the animals). The vehicle trudges across an old wooden bridge across a river. If you look closely, one can see fish poke their heads out of the water as we go by, puzzled expressions on their faces - first one fish, then two fish, then a red fish, then a blue fish.
Leaving the bridge, we approach a small pool of water accompanied a rushing waterfall. It's here that we see none other than Horton the elephant, sitting in the pool with a content smile, squirting water out of his trunk.
Next, the vehicle travels through a grove of trees, all of which have strange birds perched on its branches. You'll see Ziffs, Zuffs, Biffer-Buam Birds, an Obsk, a Kweet, a Mop-Noodled Finch, a Tizzle-Top-Tufted Mazurka, and a Beagle-Beaked-Bald-Headed Grinch. Before we leave the grove, we're suddenly dive-bombed by a Bombastic Aghast.
A pair of South-West-Facing Cranes watch us as the vehicle heads for a rather jarring sight - an abandoned Thneed factory! The building's remains are overrun by trees and grass. Scraps of Truffula tufts are scattered about. The Wickersham Brothers, a trio of big jungle monkeys, and dozens of Wickersham Uncles and Wickersham Cousins, have set up shop here as well, goofing around with the broken-down machinery. One snoozes in a hammock made from Truffula tufts.
As we continue on, you might spot young Gerald McGrew peeking out from behind a clump of bushes. He's holding a net in one hand, and behind him is a large cage. Nearby, a ten-footed lion is seen, lapping water out of the river. A sort-of-a-hen roosts in a small nest on a log, another sort-of-a-hen roosting in his topknot, with another sort-of-a-hen roosting in HIS topknot, and so on. Elephant-Cats tower over us. A very odd family of deer poke their heads out of a thicket, their horns tangled together. A wild Tick-Tack-Toe stands proudly as a pair of Chuggs (keen-shooter, mean-shooter, bean-shooter bugs) play a game on his stomach (the X's are winning). Perched on a large rock to our right is a gigantic Fizza-ma-Wizza-ma-Dill, munching on a pine tree.
Veering off-course, the vehicle becomes stuck in a pond of sticky blue goo. The guide steps on the gas, but doesn't have much luck. Fortunately, help comes along in the form of a Goo-Goose, a strange sort of waterfowl who chews up the gooey goo that we're stuck in. Thanks to him, we're able to get away.
Suddenly, we come face to face with a big red rhinoceros. It greets us with a snort. Not too far away, a hippopotamus chewing gum pokes its head out of the tall grass.
Leaving this scene behind, we enter the grasslands of the Jungle of Nool. It's here that we encounter such beasts as the camel-like seven-humped Wump, a Zans, a pair of boxing Gox, an ink-drinking Yink, a Gack, a colony of Zeds, a sleeping Zeep, an Umbus, and a Zatz-It. In the background, the colossal Mount Nool can be seen, topped by a high-spouting whale known as Wumbus.
The ground below our vehicle suddenly gives way, and we fall into a dimly-lit subterranean tunnel. It's here that we encounter the Yekko, who howls in this grotto just so he can hear his echo. Also in the grotto are a pack of Tweedle Beetles, battling each other in a puddle with paddles. This is what is known as a Tweedle Beetle Puddle Paddle Battle.
Emerging back aboveground, we're greeted by a yawning yellow yak. A tuttle-tuttle tree grows not too far away, ten tired turtles fast asleep in it. Our safari is almost at an end, but before we head back, our vehicle takes us towards a large cave. The guide warns us that we're approaching the cave of what is said to be the most ferocious creature in the entire Jungle of Nool. But before we can get away, the vehicle suddenly comes to a stop. It must be stuck on a rock or something. Something can be heard inside the cave, getting up and walking towards the mouth. It sticks its head out... and, surprise! It's this fella:
"Hello! I am a Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz, as you can plainly see! And I am honored that you came all this way to see me!" he says with a smile. This beast isn't ferocious at all - it's quite friendly.
With a goodbye from Zizzer-Zazzer-Zuzz, our vehicle heads back to the boarding station and comes to a stop. The guide says that they hope we had fun and to come again soon. Perhaps we will... but for now, we disembark and head back into Seuss Landing for another adventure.