For Whānau

Intervene Early

• Research suggests that early identification of school distress is extremely important for a positive outcome

• The longer your child is not at school the more difficult it will become for them to form and maintain their social connections (Busman, 2023; Richards & Clark-Howard, 2023; Howell, 2019)

• Unpack what is going on with your child, try to discover the environmental conditions causing the refusal as well as any other motivating factors 

Get your child to the GP (General practitioner) for a full check up

• Recent studies have shown that children with undiagnosed learning conditions or neurodiversity are significantly more likely to struggle with school distress (Meredith et al., 2023) 

• Getting the basics right is really important - how much sleep are they getting, what's their eating like, who do they have a positive relationship with? 

• Collect your information and be prepared to talk about everything you've noticed

• Push for a referral to a specialist pediatrician or local public mental health team or a private provider if you have the ability to fund this yourself.

  1. Medication may be required to support your mokopuna with their anxiety or other underlying conditions such as Autism and ADHD to be able to attend school

  2. Therapeutic interventions can be organised through these services such as occupational therapy, play therapy and talk therapy

Keep your lines of communication open

• Talk frequently with your child's teacher and the school administration about what is going on

• Always send a follow-up email when you have verbal conversations summarising what was said

• Ensure that you keep notes about what was spoken about and when

• Ask for in-school support such as counsellors, social workers in schools and the learning support team 

• Trust your instincts - you know your child best

Find your team

• Dealing with school distress is hard on your own

• Joining a Facebook group or local support group can be really helpful in understanding what's going on for your mokopuna - Parent2Parent is an excellent service where you can talk with other parents about what's going on for you

• get some counselling for yourself  - CARE Waitakere provides counselling sometimes for free depending on your circumstances

• try and find an ally that you can use to help you support your mokopuna when things are getting too much

• take time for yourself, make sure your basic needs are met as much as possible (sleep, food, connection) and do something just for you each week

Figure out what isn't working

• Please talk with your mokopuna (child) about how they are feeling about school

• Work with your child to problem-solve

• Consider changing schools if you think that a different school will be a better fit for your child

• If you feel formal schooling will not work, consider Homeschooling, the Northern Health School or Te Kura Correspondence School. 

Make a plan

• work with the school to build a plan for re-transition back to school - you can ask the school for support from the RTLB (Resource teacher of learning and behaviour) service

• ask for a part-time or reduced timetable for your child

• help your child form connections with other children at the school

• find a good therapist for your child to help them process what is going on (occupational or speech-language therapists are particularly good for this)