Bullying

What is bullying?

School distress can be an indicator of bullying. 

Bullying is defined as an imbalance of power, whether it is physical strength, popularity or access to information, to harm, intimidate or harass another student.

Many children, especially those with a neurodiversity such as Autism or ADHD or who are vulnerable in other ways, may avoid school as a response to the emotional and psychological distress caused by bullying.

Bullying can come in many forms, can be in person or online, and is ongoing:

• Physical bullying - pushing, intentionally tripping, hitting

• Verbal bullying - name-calling, teasing, threats of physical harm

• Relationship bullying  - excluding, starting rumours, gossiping

• Cyberbullying - trolling, posting embarrassing photos, digital threats

The impact of bullying:

• Fear and anxiety - school feels like an unsafe and threatening environment

• Depression - feelings of hopelessness and low self-esteem

• Trauma response - the feeling of flight which leads to avoiding or refusing to come to school

• Hypervigilance - always being on edge, a constant state of stress

• Somatic complaints - sore stomachs, headaches and fatigue

• Social isolation - losing contact with peers due to not attending school or other social events; this can become a vicious cycle

• Fear of judgement - worry about how others will perceive them

Neurodiversity and bullying:

Mokopuna with neurodiversity often face unique social and communication challenges that can make them more vulnerable to bullying, which in turn can contribute to school distress.

• Social differences - understanding social cues and maintaining peer relationships, being misunderstood by their peers and teachers

• Sensitivities - sensory processing difficulties that others may not understand

• Perceived differences - they may behave in a way that is seen as ‘different’, which may lead to teasing or exclusion

• Difficulty in advocating for themselves - they may find it difficult to express themselves or advocate for their needs, which could make it harder to report bullying

What can whanau do?

If you are concerned that bullying may be at the root of your child’s school distress:

• Support your child. Listen to what they say, take it seriously, and be calm

• Ask your child how they would like to handle the situation. Don’t jump in and try to solve the problem; empower them to be part of the solution

• Agree on a plan of what to do if it happens again

• Encourage your child to let their friends know what is going on

• Alert the teacher or school to let them know what is happening. Your child has the right to a safe, bully-free environment. Ask what steps will be taken and what the plan is for going forward. Keep in touch with the teacher or school and let them know if the bullying continues

Resources:

MoE website on bullying 

What's Up Counsellors 

Information on cyber-bullying 

Where should I go next?